Well, I guess it's been a long time, huh? I decided to take a break for awhile. I needed to work through the loss of my dad. It's been hard but really good to get myself to a better and stronger place.

Today has been a crazy day and I found myself reading this blog and reflecting on my life. Since my last post, Josh and I have gone in separate directions. We've seen each other two or three times very briefly. I live in a new apartment above the dance studio and he's never been here. It's weird to think about that when I read back over the past 8 years. In the time since I last posted, I've put most of my energy in to building my business, healing from disappointments and taking dance classes in New York. I've even dated a few guys here and there over the past year and a half, though nothing serious has come of it.

This morning as I was walking downstairs to the studio, Eva (one of my fitness instructors) caught me on the stairs and told me Josh was waiting for me. It immediately stuck me as strange and when I saw him I knew just by looking at him that something was wrong. He told me that his father is in pretty serious heart failure. He looked so torn up and he said, "you've always been my comfort, and I really need some comfort." My heart just broke for him.

I spent the morning with him and his family at the hospital. It stirred up so many feelings...memories of losing my dad, memories of loving Josh... And, by the way, Josh has a girlfriend. He told me that he feels really guilty for coming to me for comfort when he's dating someone else. I get it though. He and I have known each other for 8 years and been special to each other for a long time - PLUS I have had a very ill parent. I only wish I could have done more for him, or that I could do more for him, but I don't want to go back to the hospital and be hanging around if he has a girlfriend. She should be there for him now.