I have been trying to figure out a surprise for Josh for our anniversary. I knew I wanted to go somewhere so I was trying to figure out where, and as I was thinking about it, I finally remembered the last kiss!

If you've read this blog, you may recall that when Josh and I finally started to get back together, I was obsessing a little bit over our last kiss. I couldn't remember it. I didn't know when it was but the other day as I was brainstorming places that would be significant to him, it came to me!

It was Thanksgiving weekend 2013 - yep, during our break up, which could have been why it wasn't coming to me when I kept thinking back on 2010. And I didn't really consider it a real kiss because we were kind of forced to kiss.

We were at Nat and Jason's house the night after Thanksgiving. Natalie had made her own version of "truth or dare" Jenga. She wrote all sorts of things on the blocks and as you pulled them out, you either had to do something stupid or answer the question. I typically hate these games but my friends all seem to love them so of course we played.

Josh went first and the block he pulled asked him, "what is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?" He glanced at me and said, "One time a great girl I know bought a date with me in a bachelor auction." Immediately my interest in this game went up.

Most of the blocks we pulled were pretty innocent and kind of dumb, but I pulled one that said, "Where is the most interesting place you've had sex?" I told them it was camping and everyone gave me a hard time and said that wasn't interesting. Natalie looked at Josh and said, "Where is the most interesting place?" He looked surprised and it had been three years at that point since we'd been together. He told her he didn't know and Natalie was like, "you probably know." I was embarrassed and blurted out, "the swim club!"

Henry's face was priceless and he said something like, "Please tell me it wasn't while you were working for me." Of course it was and he knew it. Josh jumped in and tried to defend us a little by explaining it was after the club closed and no one was around but Henry was still mortified and everyone was hysterical laughing at his response. I'm kind of laughing to myself as I sit here remembering it.

The next block Josh pulled was a dare. "Kiss someone in the room." I remember him not looking too happy with that block and I remember not being real happy. Both of us hate kissing games because it's not fun being forced to kiss someone you don't want to kiss. It's also not fun watching someone you are into kiss someone else. I was surprised at how much I didn't want to watch him kiss someone else, and I wondered if it would be obvious for me to look away. I really didn't realize until that moment how much it would hurt to see him kiss someone. I remember him looking at me and saying, "You are the only person in this room that I've ever kissed and I'd kind of like to keep it that way. Do you mind?" I must have responded affirmatively because he walked over to me and I stood up to kiss him. I was relieved that he wasn't going to kiss someone else and terrified of what I'd feel when he kissed me. It was wonderful though and I knew that it was lasting longer than it should have, but it felt so good to be kissing him again and toward the end he changed the angle of the kiss and my heart went wild. How did I forget about this?

He thanked me and then sat down. The game continued but my head was still in the kiss. I was both intoxicated by it and mad at myself for letting him rock my world so easily. More blocks were pulled...can't remember any of them now. I was just going through the motions trying to figure out what had happened...a kiss after all of those years...

He pulled another block. Again he looked annoyed as he read it, "What was your most memorable sexual experience?" At this point he started arguing with Natalie about how dumb and inappropriate this game was. "That experience was between me and the person I had it with and I don't care to share it with all of you." All I could think was that he wasn't talking about me. If it had been with me, he would have shared it, but it wasn't about me. It was about someone else. I couldn't take it anymore. First a kiss that woke up my heart and then a huge blow to it.

I told them I was leaving. I got up, grabbed my jacket and was out the door. Natalie followed me out and tried to convince me to stay but I was done. I told her to go inside. I was walking toward my car when I heard his voice behind me, "You. Me. Your 21st birthday celebration in Las Vegas. And it's still none of their damn business."

I turned around and looked at him and told him I thought he was trying to protect my feelings. He told me he wasn't - that he just didn't want to share that moment with them. We talked for a little while about Las Vegas and I'm not going to share those details either, because I agree with him that some things are better kept between the two of us. It reminded me how special that trip was.

So it was that moment with the discussion of Las Vegas that got me thinking that maybe he and I should go back there for our anniversary. And it was that conversation that reminded me about the kiss we had that night. A kiss that may or may not have been real. But it was "the last kiss," the one that I couldn't remember until now.