The weekend is almost here…I feel like I live for the weekend. It’s not that my week is so bad, it’s just that my weekends are so good. That little moment where Josh and I are alone together for the first time after days is just so good. It makes it all worthwhile.

Tomorrow night we’re going to the football game. Molly has convinced Tim to come hang out with us. Their wedding may be over but I think the relationship lives on. Nothing has happened between them yet, but I can tell that Tim has a thing for her, and she definitely has a thing for him. I think it bothers Alex, but I told him that he has no right to be jealous. He led her on all summer and then dumped her when he got back. He should have been smarter if he wanted to hold on to her.

Speaking of Alex, there’s this girl who’s a sophomore that had a huge crush on him last year. Her name is Alicia, and Alex knew she liked him last year and was always nice to her, but didn’t pay much attention to her because he was in love with Molly. But now that Molly is looking elsewhere, I wonder if I could get Alex to give Alicia a chance… She sits next to me in choir and she lights up every time Alex walks over to talk to me. She’s even chimed in on our conversation a few times. Would it be wrong for me to invite her to hang out with us…in hopes of making a love connection with Alex?

Well that’s all for now. I have a student council meeting tonight. Molly’s the president so she’s insisted that I join the club.

The weekend is over and I begin my countdown to Friday once again. It was a good weekend. Friday night was the pep rally. There was a big bon fire at school. Josh and Jennifer met up with us there. Jen and Alex went off to do their own thing and Josh and I walked around and talked to people. Ms. Matthews was there and Josh wanted to say hello to her since he had her as a teacher. We were talking to her when Nick came over and started yelling at me. “How could you come here with another man?” “How could you cheat on me?” “How could you humiliate me in public?” Frankly, I was glad he flipped out in front of Ms. Matthews so that she could see I wasn’t making it up. She looked truly stunned. So did Josh. (Today Ms. Matthews had a talk with Nick about this being a pretend marriage. I guess he still didn’t get it so she ended the assignment for us. We’re both writing separate papers. Thank God!)

Saturday I spent the day working. That night was date night for Josh and me. We went out to dinner in town and then went to see “Red Eye.” It was good. I like Rachel McAdam. After that we got ice cream and walked around town for a little while. I love when I have him to myself.

Yesterday I went to church with Aunt Lu and then out to brunch with Molly, Lauren, Josh and Jennifer. Poor Jen. Her roommate sounds like such a nightmare. She seems lonely. She misses Terry and Lindsay. She said Josh and Keith try to hang out with her but they are busy so she’s by herself a lot. She said it’s weird to be lonely in a huge city with so many people. Next weekend she’s going to visit Lindsay and Terry at Penn State.

That’s all for now. I have a lot of work to do in order to get my paper on married life written by Friday. Damn that Nick Nicholas!

Thank God It’s Friday! Friday has become my favorite day of the week for more than the obvious reasons…I get to see my honey! I talked to him for a little while last night. He called while I was leaving the dance studio. He’s getting home later tonight than expected. His dad drove up to Connecticut for work and offered to pick Josh up on his way home. Jennifer wanted to come home too so she’s coming down as well.

Jennifer sent me an email last night about how horrible her roommate is. The girl sounds like a nightmare. Jen said she is constantly “sexiled” to the library while her roommate does the deed with whatever random guy she’s picked up that day. Poor Jen. That and getting accustomed to a big city, and missing Terry seems to have her down.

Molly, on the other hand, has become quite fond of her single status. She hasn’t wasted any time crying over Alex. Her “husband” for our project is an Australian exchange student named Tim, and Molly is very taken with him.

Alex is also taken with his partner…a girl named Krissy. And she seems to like him too. It’s like his stock went up after dating Molly. Before Molly barely anyone noticed the poor guy, now he’s a hot commodity. I think he’s going to be the new Josh…the cute, talented guy that all the girls love and has no clue that he’s so sought after. Seriously, the way Alex talks you’d think no one knows he exists. He told me there is no way Krissy would have given him the time of day had it not been for this project.

Kim, too, seems to be hitting it off with her partner. She just broke up with her boyfriend so she’s on the look out for a new guy.

So the married for two weeks project seems to be doing wonders for everyone’s love lives, but it’s driving me insane. I guess it’s because my real love is in New York, and I am on the edge of being repulsed by “husband,” that I’m having such a hard time with it. The problem is that Nick creeps me out. My spider senses go on red alert whenever he is around. There’s just something fishy about the guy.

Oh well, I can forget about him and our fake marriage for the weekend and focus on what’s real.

I want a divorce!

Nick Nicholas is driving me crazy. He really thinks we’re married. It’s sick. He is constantly around. I’ve tried being patient but there’s only so much one person can take! I actually had to go talk to Ms. Matthews about it today. She asked me if I can hang in until the assignment is over because she didn’t want anyone getting a divorce. I agreed because I don’t want to be a problem, but I don’t know if I can continue to deal with Nick.

I don’t want to be Nicole Nicholas. I want to be Nicole Anderson. That has such a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? Thank God Josh doesn’t know about this blog. I wouldn’t want to scare him off…I just can’t help it…Nicole Anderson sounds so good to me. J

Thanks goodness tomorrow is Friday. The week days go by so slow with me waiting for him to come home. Tomorrow night he’s coming with me to a pep rally at school to kick off the fall sports season. On Saturday we’re going to go out alone. We spend way too much time with everyone else.

School is back in full swing and things are going well…mostly. I got “married” in senior seminar on Friday. My husband is this guy named Nick Nicholas…which would make me Nicole Nicholas. Just my luck that not only does my new name suck, but my husband is a complete freak!

Friday after school, Molly and I were heading to the beach and Nick flags me down in the parking lot and asks if I want to hang out over the weekend “since we’re married.” I told him that we were heading down to Molly’s shore house and that I’d talk to him in school on Monday. You’d think that would be the end of it, right?

So we get to the shore house about an hour before Josh, Jen, Keith, Kelly and Jason get there and we make the beds and get everything ready. I lucked out because I was the only one who got my own room. When the gang got there we went to the grocery store and picked up food for dinner and breakfast the next day. We got back from the store, made dinner, and were about to sit down to eat when the phone rings.

Jason offered to get the phone and a minute later comes in and tells me that my “husband” is on the phone! Josh gave me a look and said “husband?” Of course Molly bursts out laughing hysterically and no one knows what’s going on. I took the phone and told Nick not to bother me until Monday (not sure how he got the number to Molly’s beach house), and Molly managed to inform everyone that I was Mrs. Nicholas. Of course Josh kept teasing me about my name.

The rest of the night we played games at the beach house, and everyone decided to go to bed relatively early. Josh came and knocked and my door. He was teasing me about how it was probably inappropriate of him to be visiting a “married woman.” There was a lot of bantering back and forth about extramarital affairs. He kissed me and was like, “I hope your husband doesn’t find out.” He seemed to be having fun with the whole I’m-married-to-Nick thing so I promised him it would be our little secret.

We made plans to meet up early the next morning and go to breakfast together so that we could have a little alone time this weekend. Breakfast was good and it was nice to have him to myself for a few hours. We ate at a little place a few blocks from Molly’s and then we went for a walk on the beach. It would have been perfect except Aunt Lu called then and told me that Nick had called her and was badgering her for my cell phone number. I made her promise not to give it to him.

Josh asked if he needed to have a talk with Nick, which I thought was really cute, but I told him no. I didn’t want to think about Nick.

We spent the afternoon with our friends. We went miniature golfing and then out to dinner. It was fun, but I really wanted Josh to myself. Can you blame me? I spent the whole summer thinking I was in love alone, and now that I know he loves me, I wanted some one-on-one time with him – no husbands, friends or phone calls in the way. So later that night I dragged him back out to the beach to look at the stars with me. It was perfect.

We stayed at the beach until 3:00 on Sunday. That night Josh called to tell me they were back in the city, safe and sound. He told me about the lights in NY where the WTC used to be. I was disappointed with myself for forgetting it was September 11th. Even Aunt Lu didn’t say anything about that.

Yesterday Nick and I ate lunch together to work on our project. He’s scaring me a little. He acts like he thinks we’re really married. It’s creepy!

School is off to a good start. My most interesting class is a senior seminar. They decided this year to have the seniors take a seminar class about the real world rather than doing a senior project. Our first assignment is to get paired up with a partner to “get married,” create a household budget, etc. Should be interesting… We find out who our spouses are tomorrow.

Molly and Alex have been getting along – which is a good thing. I’d hate to choose between them. The love affair is over but I think a friendship could be possible once some of the anger subsides.

I talked to Josh briefly on Tuesday. He wanted to know how school was. We talked a bit longer last night. I’ll be at the dance studio tonight so we figured we’d iron our plans for this weekend. Molly invited us to her shore house. She and I are going to head there after school on Friday. Josh, Jennifer and his roommate, Keith are going to take the train down and Kelly and Jason will pick them up and they’ll all head over to the shore. It should be fun. I’m counting down the hours until I see him.

Well, tomorrow it is back to reality. No more summer vacation. At least this time I'll be a senior so that makes things a little better! Actually, I'm excited about school starting again. I'll need something to keep my mind off of Josh during the week. I just said good-bye to him this morning and already I'm counting down the minutes until he comes back on Friday.

I just hope this school year is awesome. I hope Molly finds a new guy, and a way to hang out with Alex without things being weird. I hope Alex finds a new girl. I hope Josh and I stay together for a very long time!

Friday night while I was out with Molly and Duncan, I got a text message from Josh saying "can we talk?" You know me, I was ready to pounce on the phone and call him. Molly managed to reign me in and told me not to call him right away. I think Duncan was disappointed that his program hasn't been real effective with me. They pretty much spent the evening convincing me to forget Josh.

When I got home I got on the computer and sent him an email. I just typed in an old quote that I remember hearing a few years ago. I wrote: "Loving you is like trying to touch a star, I know I can never reach you, but I can't help but try. Good luck and all my love, Nicole."

Saturday morning I went to the dance studio to help with registration for fall classes. It was busy...tons of kids coming in and out with their moms signing up. I was wiped out by the time I got home around 2:00. My plan was to nap until the swim club party that night.

But...when I walked in the door I found Aunt Lu baking a cake with Josh. I thought he was going to be in the Keys until Sunday so I was stunned to see him standing in the kitchen...and baking with Aunt Lu! Somehow I managed to get out a "what are you doing here?"

Aunt Lu made up an excuse about needing more butter and took off. It was really weird. It was like they were in cohoots with each other. After she left, Josh told me he came home a day early because he wasn't having a good time in Florida, and because he needed to tell me something. I just stood there, not really sure if it was real or if I were in a dream. I couldn't imagine him actually coming home a day early.

I told him to say what he wanted to say. He walked over to me and touched my arms and said, "I wanted to tell you that you did reach me." I thought I was going to cry and he went on about how he was hurt that I called us a fling because it meant so much more to him and I told him I was sorry and that it had meant more to me too.

He said he didn't want things to end just because he would be in New York during the week. And then he said, "we belong together...can we give this a try?" I must have said yes because the next thing I knew I was back in his arms again, back where I belong.

So last night we went to the swim club party and I had to let Duncan know that his plan had been in vain. He seemed okay though and said he just wanted me to be happy. Everyone seemed excited about Josh being back.

We got home from the party a few minutes past midnight and he walked me to the door and commented on how it was past midnight and that it was my birthday. I joked that I was catching up with him. We talked for a few more minutes and then he kissed me good night and said, "there's one other thing that I didn't tell you this afternoon." My heart stood still and I was waiting for the other shoe to drop because things had worked out so well. I just stared at him and he said, "I love you." He said it! He really said it.

I wanted to make sure it was real so I said "what?" And he repeated it again! Then I was like "say it again." He repeated it again. I kept saying "say it again" and he was laughing but he was like "Nicole" in a "I can't believe you're doing this" kind of tone.

Then I pinched him and he was like "what was that for?" I told him I wanted to make sure he was real, that I wasn't dreaming, and he told me that I was supposed to pinch myself, not him. I told him he deserved it for breaking my heart. That caught his attention and he said he'd never break it again, and then told me he loved me again, so I thought I should probably say it back.

What a great way to start my birthday... He went up to New York today to start moving into the dorm, but he's coming back home for my birthday party tonight and he's bringing Jennifer with him. I can't wait!

So Step 2 of Duncan's plan is to get angry. He had me hitting the tennis ball as hard as I could and imagining it being Josh's head. It was fun and it did get some of my frustration out but I'm not really that angry with Josh. I'm just sad that I love him with my whole heart and I can't be with him.

Tonight is step 3. Duncan is taking Molly and I a Moroccan restaurant. It should be interesting. He said they have actual belly dancers! Fun!

Tomorrow Jennifer leaves for New York so we took her out last night for dinner. It was Jennifer, Alex and I. It's the first time I've really hung out with him since he got home. It's weird. Alex was my friend first but I feel more loyalty to Molly. I don't like how he kept her hanging on all summer...especially when he was so in love with her before.

Tomorrow night is the end of the season party at the swim club. I hope it will lift my feelings a little. I'm bummed about Lindsay and Terry leaving for Penn State last week, and Jen leaving tomorrow, as well as Josh leaving when he gets back from Florida. Where Josh is concerned, I'm just all around sad. I really wish we could find a way to be together, but I know I can't go on with him knowing we don't feel the same way.