So Step 2 of Duncan's plan is to get angry. He had me hitting the tennis ball as hard as I could and imagining it being Josh's head. It was fun and it did get some of my frustration out but I'm not really that angry with Josh. I'm just sad that I love him with my whole heart and I can't be with him.

Tonight is step 3. Duncan is taking Molly and I a Moroccan restaurant. It should be interesting. He said they have actual belly dancers! Fun!

Tomorrow Jennifer leaves for New York so we took her out last night for dinner. It was Jennifer, Alex and I. It's the first time I've really hung out with him since he got home. It's weird. Alex was my friend first but I feel more loyalty to Molly. I don't like how he kept her hanging on all summer...especially when he was so in love with her before.

Tomorrow night is the end of the season party at the swim club. I hope it will lift my feelings a little. I'm bummed about Lindsay and Terry leaving for Penn State last week, and Jen leaving tomorrow, as well as Josh leaving when he gets back from Florida. Where Josh is concerned, I'm just all around sad. I really wish we could find a way to be together, but I know I can't go on with him knowing we don't feel the same way.