Josh and I are in State College. We saw the weather report for tomorrow and decided to head out this afternoon. Freezing rain tomorrow would have made for an absolutely horrendous ride. We have to skip our classes tomorrow, but it's only one day of classes, right?

Josh jumped in the shower and then we're going to meet up with Lindsay for a late night snack. I can't wait to see her! Tomorrow we'll hang out here, have dinner with Lindsay and Terry and then head to the hotel we booked closer to Punxsutawney.

Ron and Denise got booted from the competition last night. I knew it was coming. I think Denise was relieved. I know I'm relieved. It was too stressful with all the other things I have to do. Now I actually have some time to myself! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I can breathe again...

I am counting down the minutes until my trip to Punxsutawney. I just need a change of scenery. We're going to leave Friday afternoon and drive to State College to have dinner with Lindsay and Terry. Then it's on to the hotel, and my adventures in groundhog land.

I called Josh earlier and told him to stop by when he gets home tonight. I know it will be late but I want to see him. He told me I'll probably be asleep when he gets home. He told me to light a candle and stick in the window if I want him to stop over, if not he'll know I went to sleep. I told him to expect to see the candle lit. I know it's only been since Sunday but I miss him for some reason.

I can't explain it but I've felt uneasy the past few days. It's not about Josh, I know that, but I can't pinpoint what it's about. Maybe the dance competition or my lack of time. This is my only night free this week. It's just draining. I guess I just want to see him because things always feel better when he's around.

Well, enough rambling. I need to eat dinner and do some studying while I have the time.

Denise called up crying this afternoon. She's so stressed and not having fun with the competition. I feel for her. I really do. I feel the pressure and I don't have to perform or learn something completely foreign to me. No wonder she's stressed. I'd like to be optimistic but I have a feeling they won't last too much longer in this competition. It's just a constant struggle and Denise just doesn't want it - and you have to want it. I'm convinced that's why Josh and I won last summer. No one wanted it more than we did.

I hate to say it but I kind of want out of the competition too. I'm overwhelmed. Between my dance classes, their dance classes, regular classes and rehearsals, I'm just swamped. I'm not going to see Josh until Friday - and he lives a few door down! It's ridiculous. I just thought it would be different than this. I thought we'd have dinner together and study together. Now we see each other as we pass one another on the street. It's just not the way I hoped it would be...and it's more my fault than his. His schedule is busy but nothing like mine. I wish there were time in the day.

I'm starting to freak out. I have no time. I'm at school, studying, teaching Ron and Denise how to dance and I have no time to stop and breathe. I have been going non-stop since classes started. The competition during the summer was so much easier. I had to work at the swim club, but that is much different than going to class, trying to pay attention and then study and do homework. Plus I was working with Josh which made it fun and it was easy because dancing comes naturally to him. Ron and Denise need more time than I can give and more time than they have to put into it. They both work 40 hour weeks. I think we're all feeling the stress.

Last night I met with them for about two hours. The Rhumba is the most romantic and sensual of all the dances and Denise just can't let go. She's so uptight and uncomfortable. She is marrying Ron and yet when they dance together they look like uncomfortable strangers. I'm working with them again this afternoon and tomorrow so I hope to get her more relaxed.

After rehearsals I went over to Angelo's to see the guys sing. Alex has agreed to come down from Connecticut once a month to perform with them. I suspect the arrangement has more to do with Lauren than doo-wop, but that's just my opinion. Denise, Lauren and I sat together and it was like being with a completely different Denise. She was cracking jokes and telling us about the wedding plans. She didn't seem shy or uncomfortable at all...it's got to be something about the dancing.

Mr. Anderson agreed to help Josh get a new car. He's going to pay for it until Josh graduates and gets a job. I'm relieved because Josh has been so stressed out about the car situation, and he's been relying on me and Jason to drive him around. I can tell it's driving him nuts. They are over at the dealership right now, so I hope he gets a good deal.

Tonight I will finally get to spend some time with him. We're just going out on a normal date - no dance rehearsals, no car shopping, no friends around - just the two of us. I am so looking forward to it.

Ron and Denise made it on to week 2 of the competition. This week we start working on the Rhumba. They are dancing to Michael Buble's "Quando Quando Quando." I have most of the choreography done in my head. As soon as Josh gets home I'm going to drag him to the dance studio to see if he can help me work some of it out. I'm not sure he's going to want to go, but last night was a pretty good night and I'm hoping he's still riding the high of dancing in front of an audience.

We performed our Rhumba to "Too Lost In You." It was so much fun. It felt like last summer all over again - except there wasn't the pressure of being judged and possibly eliminated. There's just something about dancing with him that is unlike any other dance partner I've ever had. I wish he had a dance background so he could be my professional partner.

After our dance the judges asked Josh if he was happy to be back. He said, "Well, I got to dance with my girl and I don't have to worry about you guys giving me bad scores, so it's pretty good to be back!" The "I got to dance with my girl" statement seemed to peak the interest of the old ladies who love Josh. It's so weird to me that people care who he's dating - even weirder that they care who I'm dating! But they all seemed really happy to hear that Josh and I are a couple. I guess they saw us together all summer and started rooting for us. It's kind of nice, but still a little weird. I'm just not used to it. Usually I'm the only one that cares that I'm dating Josh. :)

Well, he should be home soon so I'm going to head over there to see if I can persuade him to go back to Pennsylvania tonight to help me out on my choreography.

Yippie! Josh just called. He found us a room about an hour outside of Punxutawney - our trip is back on! I'm so excited! Last night he was trying to come up with other ways for me to feel like a true Pennsylvanian: we could visit the Amish, eat Pennsylvania Dutch cooking, buy Hersey's chocolate, battle each other in Gettysburg, or compare Pat's and Gino's cheese steaks. I know he was trying to cheer me up all I wanted was to see the Groundhog. When he called to tell me he managed to find us a place to stay I said, "You're taking me to Punxutawney! I knew there's a reason I love you." I could almost hear the eye roll when he replied, "I'm so glad that's the reason."

I'm glad we are doing Groundhogs Day because Josh also had a list of things that would make me a true New Jersey resident (even though I'm legally a Pennsylvania and I don't want to get into the debate of "Jerseyan" v. "Jerseyite"). He suggested that we could search the pine barrens for the Jersey Devil, eat all of our meals at a diner, drive around the circle in Flemington, and join organized crime.

See, not only is he a talented singer and piano player, he's also a comedian.

I actually kind of liked the idea about searching for the Jersey Devil. I love an adventure. Maybe after we see the groundhog...

I'm so bummed! No hotels rooms in Punxutawney. I guess Josh and I won't be going there for Groundhog Day. :(

Josh told me to pick another place and we'll go there. I picked the south of France. He gave me a look that said, "dream on." I guess I'm not going there either. So where to go? It has to be within driving distance and it can't be too expensive. I have no idea what we should do.

My first morning of classes was good. I'm not taking any classes with my friends this semester so I have no study partners, but I like my professors and my schedule is great. I have all morning classes so my afternoons are free. I love it!

Today will be another day of rehearsals with Ron and Denise. Things are falling into place and I'm proud of how hard they have been working. After today it will be up to them to rehearse between now and Wednesday. Classes start tomorrow and I have to get back into student mode.

Last night we celebrated Molly's birthday. I missed the first part of the evening because I was with Ron and Denise but I met up with them after dinner at the bowling alley. When I arrived, I felt like things were weird. Natalie kept giving me looks and finally she pulled me into the restroom and told me that Kelly was hanging on Josh all through dinner. It was odd since Jason was there too.

I asked Josh about it later. He didn't confirm or deny it. He just rolled his eyes and said, "Kelly's being obnoxious." I walked away with the impression that Kelly was indeed hanging all over Josh - right in front of Jason too! What is wrong with that girl? Someone is going to get hurt if she keeps it up and it's not going to be me or Josh.

It was a long day, but productive - and not just in that Josh found a car he likes, but also because I finally broke him down and convinced him to see the groundhog with me! I'm so excited. I believe this will make me a true Pennsylvanian. He said that he's lived in Pennsylvania for 19 of his 21 years on earth and that he's never seen Punxsutawney Phil. He doesn't see why I have to see him in order to be a true Pennsylvanian. I told him Phil is to Pennsylvania like Mickey is to Florida. He just gave me a look, shook his head and said, "whatever you say, Nic." He thinks I'm crazy but I don't care. I'm just excited that he's willing to go with me. Punxsutawney, here I come! :)

I've had a busy couple of days. On Tuesday Josh and I got up early and went into Manhattan. He needed to meet with his adviser for school and then we spent the rest of the afternoon in the city. That night we drove to Connecticut to visit his grandparents. They are leaving this weekend to go down to Florida for the rest of the winter so Josh wanted to see them before they left. We had a nice time, but it was cold up there - and snowy!

We left Connecticut yesterday after lunch and drove down to Pennsylvania so that I could meet with Ron and Denise last night. Even though things aren't coming easy, I have to give them credit for working hard. It was obvious that they had done a lot of practicing. Things are coming into place now and I'm feeling better about things. I'm going to stay here through the weekend so that I can work with them.

I'm going car shopping with Josh today. Lauren started driving his car while he was in England and she hasn't really given it back. He's kind of annoyed because his parents aren't backing him up on it. It would be one thing if he were going back to Manhattan because he wouldn't need a car there, but in New Jersey he's going to need a car. He has to drive to the school where he's student teaching, he has to drive to the train station to go into the city, and he has to drive back to Pennsylvania. Lauren suggested that he should get me to drive him around. I would if I could, but our schedules don't exactly match up. It's really mind-boggling. If the Anderson's think Lauren should have a car they should buy her one or make her buy one on her own - they shouldn't take Josh's car!

Josh and I spent the day practicing our Rhumba. I forgot how much I love dancing with him, and how much I missed it. I wish he could be my partner every time. We work so well together and everything falls right into place. Things feel so much easier this time around too. In the summer we were competing and trying not to step on each other's toes (literally and figuratively). Now we get to just enjoy the dance. Our dance is going to be hot!

I am so glad he's home. I know it's been a few weeks now but I'm still so happy he's here. I compare the way I feel when he's around to the part of the "Wizard of Oz" when it goes from black and white to technicolor. Suddenly life becomes bright and lively and I want to skip around and sing. I'm such a dork.

Time to sign off. Jason is coming over and we're going to watch his DVDs of "The Office" to celebrate Nat's new job.

I'm exhausted. I spent the whole weekend working with Ron and Denise on the waltz. It's been tough. Ron gets it, but poor Denise has such a hard time with it. I'm really worried about what's going to happen if they progress in the competition. The waltz is the first dance we're doing because it acts as a foundation for the other dances. If she can't get this, she's going to have trouble.

Josh and I are going to work on our Rhumba tonight. He was in the city today so I'm just waiting for him to call to let me know he's back. I'm happy to have that dance with him. It makes all of the grueling hours I'm putting in with Ron and Denise worth it.

Last night Josh was driving me home from Pennsylvania and he had his new GPS system on. He set it to use the British Accent instead of the American Accent. I was teasing him the whole way home. I asked him if he was going to be like Madonna - you know, live in London for a little while and then suddenly have a fake British Accent. (Is it British or English Accent? I never know.) He said he likes the way the British Accent sounds (and I agree - I love to hear Hugh Grant and Colin Firth speak - but I hate when Americans try to pretend to have a British Accent) and then he quickly turned the table on me, and started making fun of my "southern accent" - which I don't think exists. I mean, everyone knows that Florida is a northern state in the south! Yes, native Floridians have southern accents, but the people I grew up around all speak the way Pennsylvania's speak. I have no idea what he's talking about! I know that sometimes when I get angry a little twang sneaks in, but for the most part I speak just like he does.

Now that I've gone on and on about nothing, I have to go. Josh just called to let me know he'll be over in a few minutes.

Molly, Natalie, Amanda and I went out to breakfast this morning. Natalie was complaining about the cold (even though it's been record highs here! Almost 70 degrees!). I made a comment like, "It will get warm again in April. It's only four months away." Molly looked at me and said, "ONLY four months away?" I replied, "Yeah, four months will fly by like it's nothing." All three of them were giving me a look like I was crazy, and then Amanda started laughing. Natalie shook her head and said, "Wasn't it you back in September moaning and groaning about how long four months was?" Point taken.

I know I was a big baby about Josh leaving, but who wouldn't be? Everything is different when you're pining.

I'm not pining now. It is so great having Josh living at Jason's. I get to see him all the time. I know that's going to change when classes start so I'm just enjoying the time I have. We actually were talking about our schedules last night and it's going to be hard to find time together. He's student teaching, taking classes and playing piano at two different restaurants - one in New York and one in Pennsylvania. I have classes, the dance competition plus JD and I are taking a Gold Level Fox Trot class this spring. But I am determined to find time for Josh. I don't want things to be like they were last year before we broke up.

I'm meeting with Kelly's friend, Cynthia this afternoon. She asked if I could help her with some of her dance technique so we're going over to the dance studio where JD and I take our Fox Trot classes. I'm looking forward to it. I'm always excited to meet other people with a love for ballroom.

I had no idea how much I was taking on when I agreed to help with this dance competition. As soon as classes start back up, I am going to be in way over my head. Ron and Denise aren't exactly Fred and Ginger. Ron's heavy footed and Denise doesn't know how to let go. We've only had one night of rehearsal so I will cut them some slack and hope that things are better tonight. I'm just glad I picked a strict tempo song. I feel bad for Denise because she just can't hear the rhythm. It's a simple 1-2-3 but she doesn't hear it. Ron is a musician so he gets so frustrated with her. Not fun.

I was so wiped out when I got home last night. It was late because I drove back to Jersey and the rehearsal was long and frustrating. When I got home Natalie and Josh were watching TV in the living room. Josh had escaped to our house because Kelly and Jason were having a huge fight. Josh said he couldn't take it any more. He had to get out of there. He said Kelly was ranting and raving about something and Jason was yelling back at her. We saw them today and they seemed to be getting along, though, so I guess it worked out. It's just so weird. Neither of them seem that happy to be with the other.

Josh and I went through all of my Rhumba songs today to figure out what song we want to dance to. I really want this Rhumba to be hot and sexy. The last time we danced the Rhumba we were still feeling uncomfortable together - this time I want it to sizzle. We picked a song off of one of JD's Vio Friedmann dance CD's. It's called "Too Lost In You." I'm having a hard time locating the original version. It's by the Sugababes but iTunes doesn't have the song. I think they might be from outside the US, and therefore the iTunes US store doesn't carry it. Anyway...I'm rambling about unimportant stuff. The important thing is that the song is perfect for the way I've been feeling about Josh so I can't wait to dance to it! At least that part of this competition will be fun.

Tonight we start work on our winter dance competition. I'm not as excited about this one. I think it's because I don't get to perform. I'll be behind the scenes teaching and doing choreography. All the guts, none of the glory. At least I don't have to feel weird about dancing with someone other than Josh. That will be weird this summer when we do "Dancing Like The Stars 3."

My couple is Ron (from the doo-wop group) and his finance, Denise. The first dance is the Waltz. We have two weeks to work on this dance, after that it's one week per dance.They are going to dance to "Take It To The Limit." The dance line up for the competition is Waltz, Rhumba, Fox Trot, Cha Cha, Tango, Samba, a group swing and the Quickstep.

Tonight we have a group lesson where the contestants learn the Waltz. I am hoping that Ron and Denise take a liking to the waltz. They entered the contest because they want to be able to dance at their wedding. The Waltz is the perfect place to start.

Oh, and some exciting news for me too - all is not lost. I will get to perform. Mona asked if Josh and I would perform a Rhumba at the opening show to give a demonstration of what is to come the following week. Josh and I will start rehearsals later in the week - once I come up with a song and some choreography!

Yesterday we spent the day helping Josh move into Jason's place. I had no idea that Josh had so much stuff. Last night Alex, Lauren, Natalie, Josh and I hung out at our house playing card games. Alex was having a lucky night and won almost every game.

On Friday night I went to Angelo's with Lauren to see the guys sing. They were fabulous as always. Afterwards Josh came back to my house to hang out for a little while. We were sitting on the couch and talking. He looked into my eyes and said, "I'm happy too, you know." I know he is, but I also know he was trying to help me save face. Either way, I consider myself pretty lucky.

I swear sometimes I am such a dork. Josh and I went out to lunch today. It was one of those leisurely days. We ate and then walked around town. Nothing special or exciting happened but part of me is still in the "I can't believe he's really here" stage so I was pretty happy that we were spending the day together.

When we got home he walked me up to the door, wrapped his arms around me and kissed me good-bye. As we parted I sighed, "Happiness." He just smiled at me but was probably thinking, "what the heck is she talking about?" I was instantly embarrassed. I mean, who just goes around saying every emotion they feel?

I must have looked horrified because he asked me what was wrong. I told him I was embarrassed and he kissed my forehead and told me that he thinks it's cute. I couldn't tell if it was patronizing or genuine.

Still, what is my problem? I mean, seriously! Seriously! Why can't I get it together and at least attempt to play it cool? I don't want him to think I'm putty in his hands. I have leave a little mystery between us, don't I?

Josh called last night around 10:30 after Jason and Alex left to go back to New Jersey. He said he missed me, which was really cute considering we just spent the last five days together.

He came over and we were sitting in the living room talking. I said, "I have something to confess." He looked at me and was like, "You're upset about Natalie and Patrick?" I told him that wasn't it and explained to him that there was nothing romantic in my heart for Patrick. He's a nice guy, but that's it. Then I said, "Are you upset about Jason dating Kelly?" He told me "no." So I rest my case. A friend can date a person you once dated provided there are no residual feelings.

He asked me what I was confessing to. I felt like a jerk for saying it because we had spent a nice weekend at her cabin, but I told him that Kelly really annoys me. He rolled his eyes and said, "me too." I was surprised by this so I pressed him for more information. He told me that he doesn't like that she always has to be the center of attention and will do anything to be in the spotlight. He said she's always flirting with other guys in front of Jason and he finds it disrespectful. I'm glad he said it because I didn't want to badmouth his friend, but she was really getting to me this weekend.

I don't know why but I always get the feeling that she would drop Jason in a heartbeat if Josh wanted her - and the weird thing is that she dumped Josh for Jason! At least Josh sees her for what she is and wants no part of it. Huge relief.

Tonight is girl's night. Mom, Aunt Lu, Aunt Linda, Lindsay and I are hitting the town. I'm looking forward to spending some time with the ladies. It should be a fun time.

Happy New Year!

2008 has been pretty good so far. Kelly had a few people over to the cabin on New Year's Eve for a small party. Her friend Cynthia was there and I gave her some ballroom dancing tips. I gave her my number and told her to call me when we're back in New Jersey. I said I'd help her with her technique. She seemed really excited about it, and I was surprised at how much I like one of Kelly's friends

I spent the rest of the night trying to convince Josh to take me to Punxsutawney for Groundhog's Day. We were talking about the movie and I got to thinking that I'm not a true Pennsylvanian if I haven't experienced this crazy ritual. Josh explained that he's never experienced it - and I just told him it was all the more reason for us to go. I'm not sure if he's convinced but I think it would be so much fun! I am not going to relent. I will convince him to go! :)

Natalie and Patrick seem to have some sort of attraction going on. She was kind of nervous about it, but I told her that I think she should go for it. He's a good guy and I don't see why they should consider me an obstacle. I have no residual feelings for Patrick and I'm happily attached to Josh.

Before midnight I pulled Josh outside with me to look up at the stars. I told him that I spent last New Year's Eve outside looking up at the stars and thinking of him. He told me that he was doing the same thing. I remembered what Molly had told me last year so I was happy for the confirmation. This year was much better since he was there to kiss me at midnight.

We're back from the cabin now. I drove Natalie back to New Jersey. I asked her to stay here but she wanted to get home. I'm hanging out with Aunt Lu for a few more days. On Saturday I'm going to help Josh move his stuff into Jason's place. I'm very excited to have him living just a few door down!!!

Things are looking good for 2008!