I'm back! I know it's been almost a month since my last post. I've been busy with finishing up the semester and taking care of my father's estate. And then when I got back to Pennsylvania right before Christmas I got a horrible cold that had me in bed for a few days. Thank goodness I was feeling better by Christmas Eve.

It's weird being home. I can't explain it. I guess I feel like my life has been cut in half. The first half was up until the day my father died, the second half just started. It just doesn't flow. I feel like a different person in a lot of ways. I guess it doesn't help to come home and find that things have changed so much.

The Anderson's not being next door is seriously weird. I met the new neighbors. They're nice. They have two daughters in high school - nice girls - and a son in culinary school in New York. I only met him briefly but he seemed nice too. It's just so strange to see new people in that house.

The Anderson's new house is unbelievable. It's not at all what I expected. It's huge. It seems weird that they'd buy a huge house as both of their children are moving away but Josh says his dad always wanted a house like that. It's a gorgeous house. I just wish they could have knocked down the old one and built this one next door (although I guess the lot wouldn't be big enough!).

The Christmas Eve party was exceptional this year. I guess the Andersons decided to go all out since they were in the new house. We had a good time, but it sucked having to drive a half hour to get home.

On Saturday night we went to an engagement party for Mona and Angelo! They are planning to tie the knot this spring! I can't remember if I mentioned that, but I'm very excited for Mona. She deserves lots of happiness.

Now, finally the big news: I had planned to move to Nashville with Josh, but we just found out they are sending him to LA. Josh asked me to go there, but it kind of changes things. In Nashville I'd have my grandparents so I wouldn't be totally dependent on Josh. I would have no one in LA, not to mention it's on the complete opposite side of the country. I can drive home from Nashville in a day (a long day, but still just a day) whereas I couldn't easily come home from LA. I just don't know if I'm ready to move that far away.

I'm really struggling with this. I want to be with Josh. He's my person - the first person I share my good news with and the person I cry to when things go bad - but I don't want to lose everyone else. I'd be giving up Aunt Lu, Uncle Bill, Aunt Linda, my friends, and even my selfish mother. Plus, I keep thinking about something my father said before he died. He said that it's important that I learn to become and independent person. I'm not sure if following Josh across the country would really help me become independent. I just don't know what to do and I keep putting off the decision. The problem is that Josh leaves on Saturday so I really need to decide quick. I hate decisions!