Greetings from New Mexico! We are having a blast! This trip has been quite the adventure. We've seen the plains, the Rockies, the Pacific Ocean...and the people we have met along the way have been amazing. Last night we went dancing at a country bar with a bunch of cowboys. It's been a blast.

Today we're going to Roswell. I can't wait. I always thought it would be cool to check it out. Maybe we'll see an alien. :)

Greetings from Chicago! We're actually leaving Chicago today. We got here on Wednesday. We first went to Milwaukee and then we headed here. Our road trip has been fun so far. It's nice to be out on an adventure.

Mr. Anderson is doing well. Josh called last night and said that his dad is headed home from the hospital today. I'm so relieved. In all my heartbreak over Josh I let myself forget how much I love his family. This reminded me how much they mean to me.

So today we leave Chicago and we're headed to Des Moines. I have no idea what there is to do in Des Moines but I'm sure we'll find something. After Des Moines we're headed to Denver. That's going to be a long drive but I can't wait to see Colorado. I've always heard it was beautiful there.

Well, that's about all I have time for right now. Will post more soon.

Yesterday was the graduation party. My family and friends were there to help me celebrate. Mrs. Anderson, Lauren and Josh showed up. Mr. Anderson wasn't feeling well so he stayed home.

I was so glad to have Josh there. It wouldn't have seemed right without him. He was in a good mood and we spent a lot of time talking. I asked him why he wasn't celebrating his birthday with Amber and he told me that they have a very (and he stressed the word very) casual relationship. Then he asked me about Mark. I told him that Mark and I broke up. He asked why and I was about to explain when Lauren walked outside to where we were talking. She looked like someone had punched her in the stomach and she told us that they had to go to the hospital because Mr. Anderson had a heart attack.

The Andersons left and everyone tried to get my mind off of what had happened. I know they wanted me to enjoy my graduation party but I couldn't. The Andersons are like family. Mr. Anderson has always been so kind. I saw the graduation present Josh had brought for me and I knew I had to go to the hospital. Everyone was trying to convince me to stay. I looked at Aunt Lu and said, "It's the Andersons." She nodded and said, "I know, honey." My mother started to give me a hard time and I said, "It's Josh." And then I left.

I got to the hospital and somehow managed to find them. It was like I was being lead to them by divine guidance because thinking back on it, I know it shouldn't have been that easy. I just found them. Josh and Lauren were in the waiting room and Mrs. Anderson was with Mr. Anderson. They were prepping him for surgery.

I stayed through the whole surgery. We all just sat there for hours. At some point Aunt Lu showed up with some food, but we all just sat there, and then Mrs. Anderson and Josh started pacing around. I finally got up and followed Josh down the hall. He told me that I should have stayed at my graduation party. I just told him that he has always been there for me - when Aunt Lu got hurt, when my dad was sick, and any other time that I needed him - and that I wanted to be there for him. He looked at me and said, "Pretty crummy way to end your graduation celebration, huh?" I nodded and said, "Pretty crummy way to spend your birthday." He hugged me and we stood there for a few minutes.

Finally the doctor came out and told us that the surgery was a success. Huge relief. We all finally ate some of Aunt Lu's food. It was really late at this point but no one wanted to leave until Mr. Anderson was out of recovery and moved to his room.

It was the middle of the night when I finally got home. Aunt Lu woke me up early this morning to drag me to church. She said that we had some extra prayers to send up this morning. I was exhausted.

I spoke with Lauren around lunch time and she said her dad was doing pretty well. Josh called later to thank me for staying with them last night.

I was going to leave on my road trip with the girls tomorrow but they agreed that we could leave on Tuesday instead. I just want to be around one more day to make sure that everything is okay.

So that was my weekend. Never a dull moment.

I am a college grad. Wow, it's so weird. No more school. Really weird!

I'm going out to dinner tonight with my family and then tomorrow night is the graduation party.

Tomorrow is also Josh's birthday. I want to get him a present since he's celebrating his birthday at my graduation party, but I have no idea what to get. What do you get an ex-boyfriend? It can't be too personal because we're not together, but it also can't be generic. We've been through too much for that. I wish I had thought about this sooner so that I'd have more time. Ugh. I have to buy something by tomorrow.

I guess even though I'm a college grad not much as changed, huh? Still thinking about Josh...even after all these years. I wonder if I will ever get over him. Is Mark right? Do you always love your first love? Or does that have nothing to do with it? Is it that I just happened to fall in love with my perfect match right from the start and now no one else can compare? Or maybe I'm mentally ill and this is an obsession. Nah, I have my problems like everyone else but I don't think I've gone off the deep end.

I'm not going to worry about this anymore. Whatever will be will be. I have to just let things go and live my life. If Josh is my perfect match we will be, and if he's not, I'll fall in love with someone else and this won't be a problem. Maybe I just need to let life play out a little and have faith that things will work out. Maybe not according to my timeline, and maybe not in the way I think they should, but I do have faith that things will work out.

I have been super busy finishing up my school work. Tomorrow I will be a college graduate!

My mom flew up last Saturday for mother's day and my graduation. We're having a little party Saturday night to celebrate. Aunt Lu invited the Andersons and apparently Josh is coming. I haven't actually spoken to him but he called Aunt Lu and said he'd be there.

At least one of my ex-boyfriends is willing to have an amiable relationship. Mark, on the other hand, is still not talking to me. I hate this. I care about him a lot and I want him to be a part of my life. He's acting like I broke up with him, but he broke up with me. I just don't know how to get through.

Next week Natalie, Molly, Amanda and I are heading out on a graduation adventure. We haven't planned anything. We're just getting in the car and heading west. I can't wait. A few weeks of fun without ex-boyfriends or responsibility. This summer is going to be busy so it will be nice to get away before the craziness begins!