I just got back from traffic court. I was really hoping the officer who pulled me over wouldn't show up but of course he did. I swear the guy thinks he is Dudley Do-Right. He was all proper and high and mighty. It just annoyed the hell out of me. Anyway, I got no points but I have to pay the fine. Grrr...

Anyway, now I'm just thinking about court next week. I am still in shock that I am being sued for saving a man's life. Seriously, he'd be dead right now if it hadn't been for me and Josh. It just really makes my blood boil.

My mom is coming to town this weekend. We're going to go up to New York for a little retail therapy. She thinks I need to loosen up a little. She says I'm too stressed. Maybe she's right but I have a lot going on right now. I'm just out of college and I already own my own business. I'm trying to learn and figure things out and on top of that I have to deal with court cases. And for all intents and purposes, I've lost one of my best friends because Josh and I can barely stand to be in the same place at the same time. And it sucks because all I ever wanted was to be in the same place at the same time.

Oh well. Maybe a weekend of shopping, Broadway shows and a stop at the spa will help. Aunt Lu is coming along so it will be a nice girl's weekend.

Next week they will be finished renovating the apartments above the dance studio so I'll be able to move in. Lindsay is going to room with me and Alex is taking the second apartment. This is going to be a good thing. I love living with Aunt Lu but I want my own space. I have a good feeling about this. And it reminds me that I may be stressed right now because I'm trying to learn and I'm in a new role, but things do get easier and there is always something fun and excited to look forward to.

Sorry it's been awhile but I've been dealing with some unpleasantness. I was notified that Josh and I are being sued for breaking the ribs of the guy we gave CPR to! Can you imagine? We saved the guy's life. Now he's suing us. Josh came down from New York today so we could meet with my lawyer.

That was fun (sarcasm...). Josh still isn't real happy with the way we left things so he wasn't exactly Mr. Friendly. My lawyer says this will be thrown right out of court because Pennsylvania has Good Samaritan laws and Josh and I are both trained and certified in CPR. BUT...we still have to go to court. Yea! (More sarcasm...)

So that's life around here. Tomorrow I go to traffic court to fight my ticket. I called up all angry and they pushed me up in the process somehow. Two court dates in two weeks. Ugh.

Things at the dance studio are going great though. Our classes are full and people are having a good time and learning. The Zumba class with Eva turned out to be a great thing. She's bringing in crazy numbers and we're thinking of adding more classes. I guess Mona was right.

Mona and I are having lunch on Friday. She's been hanging back but we always agreed that she would have a place at the studio so I want to get her back in. I know it's weird for her, but I'd love to have her guidance.

That's it for now. I have a private less in 20 minutes so I have to get ready!

So annoyed. I just got pulled over for "rolling through a stop sign." I so did not roll. I stopped. I was so annoyed that I started arguing with the cop. It didn't help and he ended up giving me a ticket and telling me that I could argue it in court. I am so going to argue it in court! Grrrr...!!!

Anyway, the rest of my week is going okay - just very busy. I had no idea that running my own dance studio would be so busy. I like it though. No complaints. I feel like this is the right place for me. Classes are starting up and people are having fun. I like having all of the activity around.

I heard that Josh is back on the east coast, but he's in New York so I'm not sure if I'll be seeing him. I think it's okay though. There was a reason that things played out the way they did this summer. I don't think that this is our time. And I think I've finally accepted that.

So I went from completely ticked off to calm and cool in three paragraphs. Go figure! :)

Hmmm...Josh posted on facebook the following status update: "Project in LA got cancelled. Heading back East this weekend." So...what does that mean? He's coming home? Home to PA? Or home to NY?

He didn't call on my birthday. He's always called before. I know things are bad right now, but he's always called. This year he didn't call. I know things didn't end well. I know he was mad when he left, but for some reason I expected him to call.

I really screwed this up. I should have given it a chance. I shouldn't have kept him at a distance. I should have tried to trust that it would work out, because the fact remains that I love him. And I can't imagine loving anyone else the way I love him. And as much as I try to move on, the truth is that the idea of saying good-bye to him is the worst thing in the world. I can't imagine going through life without him in it. I just don't know how to get him back. What do I do? What do I say? He's obviously done or he would have called. Maybe it's too late.

I hope it's not too late. :(