Hmmm...Josh posted on facebook the following status update: "Project in LA got cancelled. Heading back East this weekend." So...what does that mean? He's coming home? Home to PA? Or home to NY?

He didn't call on my birthday. He's always called before. I know things are bad right now, but he's always called. This year he didn't call. I know things didn't end well. I know he was mad when he left, but for some reason I expected him to call.

I really screwed this up. I should have given it a chance. I shouldn't have kept him at a distance. I should have tried to trust that it would work out, because the fact remains that I love him. And I can't imagine loving anyone else the way I love him. And as much as I try to move on, the truth is that the idea of saying good-bye to him is the worst thing in the world. I can't imagine going through life without him in it. I just don't know how to get him back. What do I do? What do I say? He's obviously done or he would have called. Maybe it's too late.

I hope it's not too late. :(