Closing the club last night actually turned out well. I got there at 6:00 and helped finish off the last hour of the snack bar. I then got to work in the office until 9:00 which was great. I basically sat at the desk and surfed the internet until 9:00. At that time I found out that I was closing with Josh! Yippie!

I felt bad for him though, he had been there since early that morning. I asked him how on earth he got stuck opening and closing, and he said he had offered to fill in for Terry, a guy who had called in sick. Thank goodness. I'd must rather close with Josh than Terry.

We actually had fun closing. We cleaned up and locked up. Josh creeped up behind me and scared me half to death at one point - he thought it was funny - I was ready to strangle him. But we got a good laugh out of it.

We ended up walking into town when we were finished. Josh's mom has his car so he couldn't give me a ride home. He offered to walk me home, but he wanted to stop in town first for pizza since he hadn't had a chance to eat dinner.

We went to the best pizza place in town - I think it's possibly the best pizza in the world! :) I could tell that Josh was starving by the time we got there. We ordered pizza and sodas. He asked how the play was going. Like always, it was so nice to talk to him. I told him about the kids and how excited they are about being in a play. I told him that he better come see the show, and he promised that he would.

We also talked about the bachelor auction. He's so cute - he was afraid that no one would bid for him. I told him that he had no worries. He's the most sought after guy in town. I highly doubt he won't get any bids. Still, I don't think he believed me... He also asked if I was going to bid. I told him that although I'd love to take a dinner cruise up to New York (that's where you go if you bid on a date), I don't have much money right now because I'm saving for my trip to Florida.

After we ate pizza we walked home and Josh walked me to my door. He told me that he was headed up to New York to look for apartments this weekend. Apparently he hasn't had much luck with university housing. He's really frustrated because his parents want him to stay in Pennsylvania and commute, so they're not offering to help him pay for an apartment. We talked a little longer and then he left and I went inside to find Aunt Lu standing there hands on her hips.

She wasn't too happy with me. I had told her that I'd hitch a ride home with who ever I was closing with. I forgot to call her and fill her in on the fact that I was walking and stopping for pizza. Oops... Lucky for me she was pretty forgiving.

That's all for now...

On June 10th I posted the following list of goals:

1) Forget Josh. He's going away to college in a few months anyway. Why bother sitting around pining for him?

2) No more letting Lindsay and Jennifer control my life. I'll respect their opinions but I won't be ruled by them.

3) Give Dave a chance. True, he's going to be starting college in the fall, but his school is only an hour away. I'll still be able to see him.

4) Make some friends over the summer that I really connect with.

Well, let's forget about #1 for right now. I'm good with #2, but I think that's because Jennifer's out of state and Lindsay is still in mourning. #3 is out of the question. Dave's out of the picture. But #4 has been a success. I've hit it off with Molly and Henry this summer, and Alex will be back on Sunday so I have some people that I can connect with.

Okay, #1 has been a complete failure. How can I forget about Josh when I see him every day? And I've drempt about him every night this week! It's so frustrating...I wake up from these dreams and all I want to do is be in his arms. It's torture because I know it's not real, and yet I'm willing to settle for it because it's the only chance I have at being close to him.

Last night the electricity went off in the storm, but it ended up being really cool. Molly stopped over and told me she was going to play board games with Josh and Lauren. She invited me to go over with her. We sat on the Anderson's closed in porch and played Monopoly in candle light! Little did they know that I was the monopoly champion among my friends in Florida. As soon as I landed on Boardwalk I knew the game was mine. My strategy is to buy up the railroads, utilities, Park Place, Boardwalk, and as many of the other properties as possible. They didn't stand a chance! It was fun, and I think Josh was impressed with my skills. He kept calling me the real estate tycoon.

This morning Lauren and I were working our little actors hard. The play is only about two weeks away and we want them to start taking it more seriously. Some of them still don't know their lines.

After camp, Lauren and I sat at one of the tables on the deck outside of the snack bar and went through the play to work on blocking and compare notes. Lauren couldn't stay long because of a dentist appointment so I ended up sitting there by myself for most of the afternoon trying to muddle through it all. I kept catching Josh's eye. He was sitting on the lifeguard chair opposite of me and I couldn't stop myself from watching him while I worked.

At one point I was daydreaming and he walked over and and said, "Earth to Nicole."  I told him that I was just caught up in my thoughts. And he was like, "By the look on your face, I wish I had been caught up in your thoughts...!" Serious heart pounding and weak knees moment - good thing I was sitting down!
 
I'm so proud of myself. I have saved up enough money to cover my plane ticket to Florida for my trip at the end of the summer, and by the time I go I will have plenty of spending money too. I can't wait to go down there and see my friends - and hang out with Natalie. My mother said she'd take us up to Orlando to go to Disney World for a day, and my cruise to Mexico with Nat's family will be awesome. Only a few more weeks. It's weird - I can't wait for it to get here, but when it does the summer will be almost over. I'm trying to enjoy each day while I can, but I really miss Florida and the sun - it's so freakin' rainy in Pennsylvania!

Well, I'm going to sign off. I have to go back to the club to close tonight. Grrr... I hate that I work in the morning and am also expected to close the place late at night.

More tomorrow!!!
 

Befriending Henry has worked out quite well. Last week Molly and I were complaining about Wendy and Henry heard us. As a joke Molly asked Henry if he could work out the schedule so that Wendy and Josh never worked the same shift because we couldn't stand to see her throw herself at him all day. Well, I got to work yesterday and saw a note had been left in everyone's mail boxes - on the note were schedule changes and Josh and Wendy are working opposite shifts all week!!!! :)

Molly wasn't at work yesterday so I stopped by her house last night to show her. We were laughing hysterically. We couldn't believe Henry actually did it! We went over to Dunkin' Donuts and bought him a box of his favorite munchkins. When I gave them to him today he said, "Anything for you, Sunshine!" He he... I'm still having a hard time holding back my laughter everytime I see Wendy.

Of course she and Josh are both working the swimming lesson shift together, but at least that's the only time of the day that they will be together!

Things with the campers are going well. The play is coming along well and the kids are finally starting to learn their lines! Thank goodness!

I'm helping Molly out tonight with advertising for the bachelor auction. It's going to be held next Wednesday night and she wants to collect a lot of money. We want everyone to know about it.

That's it for now...

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I'm still feeling kind of crappy today. Lauren came over this afternoon so that we could strategize on how to get the kids to learn their lines for the play. They seem to be having a hard time with the memorization.

We got to talking about her brother and she told me that he wasn't dating Wendy. They just hang out together, but Josh seemed to shy away from saying that they were dating, or that she was his girlfriend. I guess that's a good sign. The girl is so obnoxious! I can't imagine Josh having an interest in her.

I'm going out to dinner with Aunt Lu and the family tonight. Uncle Bill wants to get Lindsay out of the house a little bit. She's been a wreck all summer. I understand why, but she has to continue living her life. I can't help but think that things would be a lot better if Jennifer were around. As annoying as Jen can be at times, she is a good friend to Lindsay and would know what to do. I feel so hopeless because Lindsay doesn't respond to me. :(

Tomorrow night Molly is having a small gathering at her house. I hope I'm feeling good enough to go.

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Geez, I just realized today that none of my posts were actually showing up on the website...I have no idea what that's all about...grrr...

I'm "in a mood," as my mother would say. I just feel grumpy. Maybe it's because I'm still feeling kind of sick, maybe it's because Wendy and Josh are either really close, or they are an item. I can't tell yet. I just know that I can't stand her, Lauren can't stand her and Molly can't stand her. Not very popular...EXCEPT WITH JOSH!!!!! :(

To top things off, my throat and ears have been killing me all week. I had to get in the pool this morning to demonstrate the back stroke to one of the campers, and I'm sure that didn't do anything to help my ear. Henry, my boss, told me to go home after camp and to take tomorrow off too. I guess he could tell that I felt like crap. He even drove me home after work today so that I wouldn't have to walk.

Aside from the Josh and Wendy thing, I have had some fun this summer. Lauren and I have had a lot of fun with the kids in the drama group. I love directing the play. I also like the snack bar - I don't get the same kind of fullfillment out of it, but working with Molly is so much fun. She makes that crazy job enjoyable. I also really like one of my bosses, Henry. He's the guy I taught to dance at the beginning of the summer. He is so much fun. He calls me "Sunshine" because I'm from Florida. Cute!

Well, I'm home because I'm supposed to be resting and getting better so I'll sign out for now.

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I'm kind of bummed today. Wendy is doing her best to move in on Josh and I'm beginning to think he might like her! I try to ignore it but I can't help but watching him all the time to see if she's with him, and when she is I have to force myself to look away. It's too painful.

It seems like misery is all around these days. Lindsay is still sitting on the couch in front of the TV giving everyone one word answers. I know that she's going throw hell, and I shouldn't put a time table on her grieving, but I wish she would get up and get out. It's time to face the world again.

I have to stay late tomorrow night to close down the swim club. It's so annoying because it means I'll have to leave at 7:00 when the snack bar closes and then return at 9:00 to close!

Molly told me that she's running the bachelor auction. Apparently they auction off dates with the single male staff members. If you bid you go on a dinner cruise from Philadelphia to New York. It sounds so great, but I don't have much extra money to spend since I'm saving to go on vacation with Nat. But the thought of going on a dinner cruise with Josh is so enticing... I can see us slow dancing and standing on the deck looking at the stars and the New York skyline...Maybe I should stop thinking about it.

What am I going to do if he goes out with Wendy? I'll be crushed! What if she bids on him!?!? I need to find a way to just forget about him! I need to forget him. This thing I have for him has been trouble since day one!

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