On June 10th I posted the following list of goals:

1) Forget Josh. He's going away to college in a few months anyway. Why bother sitting around pining for him?

2) No more letting Lindsay and Jennifer control my life. I'll respect their opinions but I won't be ruled by them.

3) Give Dave a chance. True, he's going to be starting college in the fall, but his school is only an hour away. I'll still be able to see him.

4) Make some friends over the summer that I really connect with.

Well, let's forget about #1 for right now. I'm good with #2, but I think that's because Jennifer's out of state and Lindsay is still in mourning. #3 is out of the question. Dave's out of the picture. But #4 has been a success. I've hit it off with Molly and Henry this summer, and Alex will be back on Sunday so I have some people that I can connect with.

Okay, #1 has been a complete failure. How can I forget about Josh when I see him every day? And I've drempt about him every night this week! It's so frustrating...I wake up from these dreams and all I want to do is be in his arms. It's torture because I know it's not real, and yet I'm willing to settle for it because it's the only chance I have at being close to him.

Last night the electricity went off in the storm, but it ended up being really cool. Molly stopped over and told me she was going to play board games with Josh and Lauren. She invited me to go over with her. We sat on the Anderson's closed in porch and played Monopoly in candle light! Little did they know that I was the monopoly champion among my friends in Florida. As soon as I landed on Boardwalk I knew the game was mine. My strategy is to buy up the railroads, utilities, Park Place, Boardwalk, and as many of the other properties as possible. They didn't stand a chance! It was fun, and I think Josh was impressed with my skills. He kept calling me the real estate tycoon.

This morning Lauren and I were working our little actors hard. The play is only about two weeks away and we want them to start taking it more seriously. Some of them still don't know their lines.

After camp, Lauren and I sat at one of the tables on the deck outside of the snack bar and went through the play to work on blocking and compare notes. Lauren couldn't stay long because of a dentist appointment so I ended up sitting there by myself for most of the afternoon trying to muddle through it all. I kept catching Josh's eye. He was sitting on the lifeguard chair opposite of me and I couldn't stop myself from watching him while I worked.

At one point I was daydreaming and he walked over and and said, "Earth to Nicole."  I told him that I was just caught up in my thoughts. And he was like, "By the look on your face, I wish I had been caught up in your thoughts...!" Serious heart pounding and weak knees moment - good thing I was sitting down!
 
I'm so proud of myself. I have saved up enough money to cover my plane ticket to Florida for my trip at the end of the summer, and by the time I go I will have plenty of spending money too. I can't wait to go down there and see my friends - and hang out with Natalie. My mother said she'd take us up to Orlando to go to Disney World for a day, and my cruise to Mexico with Nat's family will be awesome. Only a few more weeks. It's weird - I can't wait for it to get here, but when it does the summer will be almost over. I'm trying to enjoy each day while I can, but I really miss Florida and the sun - it's so freakin' rainy in Pennsylvania!

Well, I'm going to sign off. I have to go back to the club to close tonight. Grrr... I hate that I work in the morning and am also expected to close the place late at night.

More tomorrow!!!