Our senior seminar project for this week is to imagine ourselves at 80 years old and to write a letter to ourselves at our current age. It's one of the coolest assignments I've ever done. It really makes you take a look at yourself and put things into perspective. Who knew Future Nicole would be so wise?

Dear Nicole,

Wisdom, experience and hindsight have given me the perspective I need to give you some advice on life. I know you think you know it all. I was you once, but trust me, there's a lot you don't know, and you have to learn that you have to learn.

I am about to give you some life lessons, but unless you are ready to accept them, they will mean nothing to you. That's okay. Hold on to this letter. Someday it will make sense.

1) Anything worth having is worth working hard for. Things don't always come easy, you have to persevere. Don't give up. If you really want it, you have to work for it. It will all pay off in the long run.

2) People aren't always going to behave well, but that doesn't mean you shouldn’t. Treat others with kindness, be honest and loving and refuse to get pulled into negativity.

3) You cannot control the actions of others. You can only control yourself and your response to them. Don't let their decisions upset you. Respond to them in ways that would make you proud. And if you don't, learn from your mistakes. They only make you a stronger, better person in the long run.

4) You are the only person who can make yourself happy. You can’t depend on others for your happiness. That comes from you and the way you chose to see the world. You have a long life ahead of you, Nicole, the way you chose to respond to the good and bad things will determine how happy you will be. Try to see the positive.

5) There is always good with the bad. Just when you think things will never get better, something good will come along. You learned this when you moved to Pennsylvania. You felt alone and then someone reached out to you and you found more happiness than you had before. Don’t forget this.

6) You don’t have to prove yourself as worthy. You’ve already done that. You just have to recreate it.

7) Everything happens in its own time. I understand impatience. We want what we want when we want it, but you have to learn to sit back and relax. Things happen when they’re supposed to and if you rush, you might miss out on something really good.

8) Don’t be a victim. You are where you are because of the choices you’ve made. You are responsible for your own life. When you let yourself become a victim you give your power away.

9) Don’t judge yourself too harshly. You are doing the best you can. You will make mistakes in life. It’s part of being human. The key is to learn from your mistakes.

10) Listen to you gut. We all have instincts. We have to learn to listen to them and act on them. Trust in yourself to make good decisions.

Now, on a more personal note, there are a few other things I’d like to say to you.

Don’t be so hard on your mother and father. I know you have a hard time seeing the good in your father, but he’s only human and he’s struggling. He’s a sad soul. He’s missing out on giving and receiving love from his wife and child. He needs a substance to quiet the pain. It’s easy to hate him, but you’ll be a better person if you learn to show empathy. Empathizing doesn’t have to mean enabling.

And your mother loves you. She means well, but she’s not strong. She doesn’t know how to stand up for herself and walk away. She’s doing the best she can with what she has. Forgive her.

Listen to your Aunt Lu. She’s a wise woman and you’ve heard all of these lessons from her already. She’s more than your refuge, she’s your teacher. You just have to be ready to accept the lessons.

Josh has been a tower of strength for you but you need to learn to stand on your own. Borrowing his strength will only make you weaker. It’s time for you to see the strength in yourself. He wants you to be happy, but he can’t be the source of that happiness. That’s too much pressure to put on someone…he is only human. Be confident that you make your own happiness. Let him be part of that without being the source of it.

There are many ups and down ahead, but with faith and trust, you will prevail. Just remember the life lessons and remember that no matter where you are or what you do, you will be loved.

With much love,

Future Nicole