I want the holiday break to get here NOW! I have no patience at all. I'm ready for a break and I'm ready for Josh to be home for more than two days. It's going to be so nice to have him around. We have plans for next week to do things during the week. We never get to do things during the week. It will be so nice...

So Lindsay is home and we ran into Henry the other day. They really hit it off. I saw them together and I just couldn't help but think how great they would be together. I don't know why I never thought of it before. Not that it matters. Lindsay just has no interest in dating. I don't know if she thinks it's out of respect for James or if she doesn't want to get emotionally attached to someone after losing James. I just wish she'd give herself permission to be happy again.

So this guy, Derek keeps bothering me. All of a sudden he's everywhere I am. He's always around. And he's friends with Nick so that makes it worse. After my "marriage" to Nick I feel really uncomfortable around him. I just want to know why he's always around. It's so weird!

I've got holiday fever so bad! I want the holiday break to start but we still have a week left. I'm going to go crazy! I can't focus. All I want to do is loaf around, eat cookies and watch Christmas movies. I have to get myself together so that I can get all my work done before the break starts.

This weekend should be fun. Lindsay is headed home. We're going out tomorrow night. I can't wait to spend some time with her.

Josh is coming home late in the day on Saturday. We're going to Kim's Christmas party and then he heads back to NY early on Sunday. He has a lot of studying to do for finals so he wants to be up there so he can focus.

I think I'm driving Aunt Lu nuts. I've decided that "Marshmallow World" but Dean Martin is the best Christmas song ever and I've been playing it over and over, non-stop. I know she likes Dean Martin but I think it's starting to get on her nerves. But it's such a fun song!!!!! "It's a marshmallow world in the winter..."

I don't know why but saying good-bye to Josh today was as hard as it was last weekend. I don't know what's going on with me. For some reason I've been having a hard time saying good-bye on Sundays. His response was "I must be pretty lucky to have someone in my life that makes saying good-bye so hard." I'm glad he's flattered but I still hate saying good-bye to him.

I think it's just that we had such a great weekend. Yesterday we spent the day shopping together. We just had so much fun. We sang along to Christmas Carols as we drove to the mall. We went out to lunch. I don't know, there's just something about doing things with him. It doesn't matter what it is as long as we're together.

I just wish that we didn't have to spend the week apart. :(

Today was a snow day - LOVE IT! I have to say this is a major perk of living in Pennsylvania. :-)

Molly and I spent the whole day on the couch in her family room watching TV. It was so nice to veg out and catch up. We've both been so busy lately that we haven't had time to just hang out. We're double dating tonight so I'll get to spend some more time with her. I'm a little worried about her. I know she's crazy about Tim but I think she's still upset about Alex. Especially since he's been getting close with Alicia. I'm hoping to observe her with Tim tonight so I can get an idea of how things are going and whether I should be concerned.

Tomorrow night is the church party. It should be fun. I really like all of the people at the church and the Andersons will be there and we all know how I feel about spending time with one Anderson in particular. ;)

Looks like we're going to have a snow day tomorrow! I have to admit that it is a perk of living in the north. There were no snow days in Florida. I can't wait to wake up tomorrow morning and hear that school is closed! :-) The best part is that the snow should be over by the afternoon which means Josh won't have any problems getting home.

I just got off the phone with him. I mentioned that my mom wants me to go to Florida for the New Year. He asked if I was going to go so I told him that Aunt Lu is going to be away and I don't think she'll let me stay here by myself. He said he would talk to his mom about me staying with them. Then he said, "I really want to spend New Years Eve with you." I don't know why I was so worried. Even after all of these months I'm still such a dork sometimes. He keeps showing me how much he loves me and for some reason I never really get it. I do but I don't. I guess it sounds weird.

Before I talked to Josh I was on the phone with Jen. She called because she's worried about Lindsay. She thinks Lindsay should be out there dating again. I can see her point. I want Lindsay to be happy but I also know she had to be ready to make that move. I told Jen that we shouldn't push her. I don't really know if that's the best advice, but I need to think about it some more.

Well, I'm going to hit the sheets and wake up to a Winter Wonderland. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...

Ugh... my mom wants me to go down to Florida the day after Christmas and stay there until New Years. She's laying the guilt on really thick too. :(

I want to stay here but Aunt Lu is going to be visiting her sister that weekend so it seems like my choices are Florida or upstate Pennsylvania. Neither appeals to me. I want to spend New Years Eve with Josh. They say the person you kiss at midnight is the person you spend the rest of the year with...

But none of that matters because he hasn't even mentioned New Years Eve. I don't know if he plans to spend it with me or do something else. Last year he was skiing with Keith that week, and his friends were talking about doing the Time Square thing when I was in NY over the weekend. For all I know he's doing something with one of his friends. I know I should just ask him, but I feel weird about it for some reason. I keep singing that song "What Are You Doing New Years Eve?" in my head.

I hate holidays like this. They put so much pressure on people to have something cool to do. Not to mention that people come up with their stupid resolutions that they have completely forgotten about by February. I'm like the Grinch of New Years...

But I have to say that if I go to Florida, I know I'll have parties to go to because Natalie always has a big New Years Eve bash at her house. What to do... what to do... I really should just talk to Josh.

My weekend in New York was perfect. I am even more sure now that I want to go to school there. Lauren and I hung out with Josh and Jen. They took us to the dining hall so we could get a feel for dorm life. We got the official tour of the campus but then Jen and Josh showed us around from their perspective.

On Saturday we out and did some shopping. Terry ended up driving into the city to visit us which made Jen very happy. We all went to see the Christmas tree that night. It was amazing. I had never seen in person before. It was amazing. I've always dreamed about seeing the Rockefeller Christmas tree.

It was cool seeing where Josh spends his week and getting a glimpse at what his life is like Monday through Friday. I felt a lot closer to him after the weekend. I don't know why but I was really emotional when he took us to the train station. I didn't want to come home, and I was crying about how I didn't want to leave him. I hope he doesn't think I'm a basket case. He was sweet about it but I'm still kind of embarrassed. Poor Lauren had to get on the train with me while I calmed myself down.

That's all for now. Lots of school work to do.

I'm going to New York tomorrow! Yippie! :)

I'm so excited about going but I think Molly's upset that she's not going. It just sort of happened. Josh has been telling me that he wants me to visit him in New York, but I was afraid that Aunt Lu and my mom wouldn't go for it. Then on Thanksgiving Mr. and Mrs. Anderson told me that if I need any help visiting colleges they'd be happy to take me. Josh kind of set it up so that his dad would show me around Columbia and NYU so that I could also stay up there. Lauren just managed to get in on the action. We weren't trying to include or not include anyone. I've explained it all to Molly but she was kind of annoyed about it.

I'm going to have a good time anyway. I can't wait to see where Josh spends his week. It will be so to get a peek at his day to day life. I feel like we're so close but the fact that I don't know what his life is like during the week keeps us from really being close.

Well, I should get back to packing. More to come after the weekend!