It has hit me that I am starting college in a week. I'm totally unprepared. I've gone through the motions of getting things done but I haven't really faced reality. I'm moving to a new state AGAIN, starting all over AGAIN. I'm freaking out!

While I was in Florida Natalie and my mom just kept going on and on about starting school. I felt like my head was going to explode. Josh and I talked about it a little and he tried to give me a pep talk but what he doesn't get is that I'm tired. I'm tired of starting over, I'm tired of making a name for myself and proving myself. I know that I sound like a big baby but I'm tired of all the moving around.

I guess the one good thing is that my two best friends are going with me. I just hope that they can behave themselves and stop bickering about who is my "real" best friend. It's just adding to my stress level and in all honesty Josh is my "real" best friend, but I don't think the university will allow my boyfriend from another university to be my roommate.

Anyway, the trip to Florida was fun. My dad was out of town until Friday night so we didn't see much of him. When he got home he was exhausted and slept most of the day on Saturday. It was a little strange, he usually is constantly going. I guess the business trip wiped him out.

Josh and I spent a lot of time with Nat and we had dinners with my mom. I got to take him out and show him all of my old stomping grounds - we went over to my old high school, my mom's dance studio, my favorite restaurants. It was fun to show him a little piece of my world from my life before him. He seemed like he had a good time. It was so great to get away, but I kept getting this sinking feeling that everything is about to change, that it will never be this way again. What if starting college means losing Josh? What if it means losing every thing I've worked so hard for the past few years: my friends? my relationship with Aunt Lu? my job at the dance studio? I am so stressed!