It's been an interesting couple of days. I'm so confused right now.

Friday night was my date with Patrick. We had a really good time. We went to dinner and played miniature golf. Afterwards we got ice cream and walked around town. It was a really great night. When we got back to my house I could tell he wanted to kiss me goodnight. I wanted him too, but I felt really weird about kissing him outside where Josh or his family could see us. It just felt weird so I kind of ran into the house before he could make a move.

Saturday was my first day of work at the swim club. I was nervous when I got there because it was the first time I was going to see Josh. When I walked into the office I saw Henry and Laura there. Seeing Laura was harder than seeing Josh since I know she's so into him. I was saying hello to Henry when Josh walked in. I was so nervous my hands were shaking.

He said hi to me and then we heard a scream from outside and two boys came running through the door. One was screaming, "Jump in the pool! Jump in the pool!" Suddenly the scent of skunk hit us and Josh put his arms out and blocked both kids. One of them had been sprayed. Josh carried him outside and told Laura to find the parents. Laura didn't look pleased but did as she was told.

Henry and I followed Josh outside and talked to the little boy who was crying. It's strange to see a skunk out and about in the middle of the day so we wanted to know where he saw it. The last thing we need is a rabid skunk running around on the playground.

After we talked to the boy's mother about the skunk Josh left to go home and shower since he also smelt like skunk. When he returned, I was still nervous, but we started talking about skunks and our past history with skunks and soon we were laughing hysterically. It really helped to break the ice.

On Sunday I was feeling much better about work. I got there feeling more confident about working with Josh, but it turned out that he had the day off so I didn't see him anyway. That night I went to a barbecue at Amanda's house. It was nice catching up with her. I showed her my pictures from the road trip and gave her all the details about things with Patrick. She told me all about her new boyfriend. It was a good time.

On Monday I was working with Josh again. He spent most of the day working outside by the pool so I didn't have to sit with him all day. In the afternoon he sat in the office and Laura kept coming in to talk to him. It was kind of annoying. No, it was very annoying. Then his co-star from "West Side Story" stopped by to see him. They made plans to work on their lines that night and for some reason that made me feel really uncomfortable.

That night I met up with Patrick for dinner. When he walked me to the door I decided I'd let him kiss me. I figured if Josh was going to have girls stopping by and hanging all over him all day, I shouldn't feel bad if he sees me kiss the new guy in my life.

So this week at work has been uneventful. Josh and I are on opposite schedules. He works early in the day and I work late day. Henry has us working around Josh's rehearsal schedule right now. I'm glad because it means I don't have to deal with Josh every day. It's just too complicated for me.

To make matters worse, all of my friends are going to see Josh and Alex sing with their doo-wop group tomorrow night at Angelo's. They are dragging me along. I want to support Alex, but it's going to be hard to sit there and watch Josh perform.

And the worst part of all of this is that I have now rambled on and on about Josh. I should be writing about Patrick and how great he is. He's smart, funny and incredibly good looking. He has been so good to me and there were sparks flying during our road trip, but now I'm home and Josh is back on the radar screen and he's the star of this blog again! It's so completely frustrating! Grrr....

I'm back from my road trip. Minneapolis and Chicago were so busy that I didn't have time to blog. We had a really great time. We went to the Mall of America and Chicago was awesome. It's definitely "my kind of town." :)

I got home yesterday afternoon and met with Henry last night. We talked about work and the summer. Tomorrow is my first day. It should be interesting since I haven't seen Josh in a few weeks. But I can't worry about that anymore...I'm moving on with my life. I have a date with Patrick tonight.

We kept hanging out more and more on the road trip. I found myself becoming more and more attracted to him. It was pretty bad. I'd feel like I was going crazy whenever we were in different cars. On our last night in Chicago the two of us took a walk together and he kissed me and asked if I'd go out with him when we got back. So tonight is the big night. My first date that I'm excited about that's not with Josh. This is a big step for me.

I promise to blog more about the road trip later, but Patrick will be here at 7:00 and I'm a mess. My things are all over the house and I need to get myself looking presentable!

I think I might have a little crush on Patrick. Okay, I do have a little crush on Patrick. I spent yesterday morning in the car with Molly and the whole time I kept thinking about him. When we stopped mid-morning for a bathroom break I was so eager to see him. And then when we stopped for lunch, I found myself wanting to sit next to him and talk to him as much as possible.

After lunch I got back in the car with Molly and she asked me if I'd rather ride with him. I must have been pretty obvious. Why am I so terrible at hiding my emotions?

When we stopped mid-afternoon for a quick break, Molly announced to everyone that she wanted to spend some quality time with her brother. I ended up riding with Patrick until dinner time. Again, we had really great conversations. He was telling me about the physical therapy program he's starting at the University of Florida in the fall. He was also intrigued by my ballroom dancing and was asking me all sorts of questions about it.

He has this amazing ability to make you feel like you're the most interesting person on the planet. And I haven't felt that way in a very long time. All I know is that I can't wait to see him and I don't want this trip to end.

Yesterday was our day in Keystone, SD. Adam and Molly both stayed behind at the hotel because they were sick so it left me and Patrick to see the sights. Our first stop was to the convenient store to pick up some vitamin C so that we wouldn't get sick too.

From there we went to Mt. Rushmore. We walked around and took the tour. Then we just sat and talked for awhile. After Mt. Rushmore we grabbed a quick bite to eat and then went to the Crazy Horse Memorial. We walked around there for a while and then sat down and started talking again. I noticed he had a slight southern accent so I asked him about it. It turns out he lived in Georgia for the first few years of his life! We had a really great conversation about the differences between life down south and life in Pennsylvania. Then he started telling me about Seattle, and then he asked me about Josh. I told him how Josh and I had tried but it hadn't worked out. He told me about his ex. She lives in Chicago and he's supposed to see her while we're there. It was nice to have someone to talk to. Someone with a fresh perspective.

After that we stopped in a gift shop and I bought myself a gold necklace. It set me back fifty bucks but I wanted Dakota Gold to remember my trip. I also saw the funniest t-shirt. On the front was a picture of Mt. Rushmore and on the back was a picture of what Mt. Rushmore supposedly looks like from behind with the legs, butts, and backs of the presidents sticking out. I thought it was hysterical, but I wouldn't wear it so I didn't buy it.

We stopped back at the hotel and Molly and Adam said that they wanted to see Mt. Rushmore so we went to dinner in a ghost town and then drove down to see Mt. Rushmore lit up. It was really cool. After that Patrick and I went for a swim in the indoor pool.

I know I've been thinking about Josh a lot lately, but I have to say that there is something special about Patrick. For the first time since I met Josh, I think I could fall for someone else. And Patrick could be that someone else. He's funny, he's smart and he's absolutely adorable. It feels weird to think about it, and writing it is even weirder. But I can't help but feel some excitement about the possibility...the possibility of falling for someone.

Today will be another long day as we drive to Minneapolis. I should log off and get my stuff together. It's almost time to get on the road again...

Yesterday was a long day - longer than expected. Molly and I decided we really wanted to visit a Ghost Town so we made a detour south to Virginia City to visit the Alder Gulch ghost town. Virginia City used to be a "large" city (back in the 1800's) with 10,000 people. It was the place to be in Montana during the Gold Rush. Now only 132 people live there! They don't even have cell phone service!

It was really cool. We spent about 2 hours walking around and we ate a quick lunch there. We could have stayed all day. They have a ghost tour at night that I really would have liked to take. Someday I'm going to go back to Montana and see Yellowstone and spend more time in Virginia City. Very cool.

After that we drove for another 3-4 hours. Adam was feeling sick so Molly, Patrick and I took turns driving the two cars. It meant more driving and less rest, but it was okay. It's a little different driving through Montana than it is driving through Pennsylvania - there is far less traffic. I spent most of the afternoon in the car with Patrick. Molly wanted to ride with her brother to make sure he was feeling okay. Patrick's a really cool guy. I actually had a lot of fun talking to him.

We drove to Billings and stopped at the Cracker Barrel for dinner. I had intermittent cell phone reception all day so it wasn't until we stopped that I realized Josh had called me back. He just left me a message thanking me for my call. There wasn't much to it, but it set me back a little. Hearing his voice made me homesick all of a sudden and I started thinking about how the last time I was at Cracker Barrel, I was on my road trip with him to Tennessee.

I drove for a few hours with Molly, and the poor girl had to hear me go on and on about Josh. She looked relieved when she switched cars with Patrick midway between Billings and Keystone. That was actually our longest stretch of the day, but when it was just me and Patrick I was forced not to dwell on the whole Josh thing and I started to have a good time again.

We pulled into Keystone pretty late and we were all exhausted. Molly and I went to our room and fell asleep almost immediately. I slept like a rock. Now I'm up early again and ready for a fun day at Mount Rushmore!

Greetings from Missoula, Montana!

Yesterday we left Seattle around 10:00 a.m. and got here for dinner. The hotel is nice. It has a pool and a hot tub. Molly, Patrick and I spent some time relaxing while Adam slept (poor guy isn't feeling well).

It looks like it's going to be a nice day for driving. Sunny and moderate. Today will be a longer drive. We are driving to Keystone, SD. We're going to stay there tonight and tomorrow night because we're going to see Mt. Rushmore tomorrow! I can't wait. I think our hotel in Keystone has high speed internet so I'll try to log on and blog about any fun adventures from the road.

Today is Josh's birthday. I called him (it's not even 8 a.m. here but it's 2 hours ahead back home). I got his voicemail so I left a message. I just couldn't ignore it. I know things aren't the way we'd like them to be, but he means the world to me. I had to wish him a happy birthday.

That's all for now. Molly's has decided to rise and shine and we have to get breakfast and get on the road!

It's early morning here in Seattle. I'm the first one up. I guess I'm still on Eastern Time. Today will be my first day of sight seeing. So far our trip has been Adam's graduation (he's Molly's bro) and helping him and his friend, Patrick, pack up for our road trip home.

I'm excited to see Seattle. We're going to go to the fish market and to the space needle. We also booked a Duck Tour! It's fun to be in a new place. I kind of need that right now.

I met with Lauren the other night at Starbucks. She is doing well. She's itching for summer to get here. We talked about Josh a little bit and his role in "West Side Story." Lauren was as shocked as I was that he got the lead role. We decided it must be his singing voice because he's never acted before.

I immediately regretted it, but I asked her if he ever mentions me. She said "not really" but then told me that he thinks about me. I asked her how she could know that and she said "I know my brother." I'm not sure what to think about that. How could Lauren possibly know what is going on in Josh's head? I know they are close, but seriously...she's not a mind reader!

Okay, I should go. Molly's waking up and we want to get to the fish market early. I'll try to write more when I can, but it may be hard from the road.

I'm taking a break from unpacking and packing. I'm unpacking from school and also trying to pack for my road trip. Who knew packing could be so exhausting? My room at Aunt Lu's is a pretty good size but right now it's wall to wall boxes and stuff. I want to get it cleaned up now because I don't want to return from my trip to find that the place is a disaster area!

So I've been doing a little snooping...I think Josh is home. I noticed his car has moved a few times today and when he's in New York it just sits in the same spot. It's driving me crazy. Part of me wants to go see him, but the other part of me knows that I could be setting myself up for more heartache if I do. Besides, my car is parked on the street so if he's home, he knows I'm here. He could just as easily come see me.

Weird, as I was writing about Josh, Lauren called and asked if I wanted to meet at Starbucks tonight. I should probably pick up something for Josh's birthday so that she can pass it along for me. But that means I need to figure out what to get him. It has to give off the right vibe. I don't want something that says, "I still love you and desperately need you," but I don't want something that says, "You don't mean anything to me." I have no idea what to get.

Well, I better get back to packing or I'll sit here obsessing about this all day...

Long time, no blog. I know. I've been slacking on blogging but productive on school work. I am now officially finished my freshman year. No longer the low "man" on the totem pole.

I'm excited about my trip out west. I'm leaving Friday morning. I'm really excited. I've never been to Seattle before and I've never driven across country! We've decided on the places we're stopping on the way back: Helena, Montana, Mt. Rushmore in South Dakota, Minneapolis, Chicago and then back home. It's going to take us about 10 days to do the trip home. I will try to blog along the way if I can. I would love to keep track of all that I see along the way!

Aside from finishing up school, I've been moving my things from the dorm back to Aunt Lu's for the summer. I've also been helping Natalie store her things in public storage. She closes on the townhouse in July but she has no place to keep things until then. She's heading back to Florida for a few weeks. It will be strange not to see her every day. I've gotten so used to having her around.

I talked to Henry on Sunday. I told him about things with Josh and he asked if I'd be able to work with Josh all summer. I assured him that everything would be fine. I just wish I were as confident as I sounded. I know it's going to be kind of weird, but I think Josh and I are mature enough to work together.

Josh's birthday is coming up and I don't know what to do. We agreed to time apart, but I feel like I should call him or send him a card or a gift. It would just be too weird to ignore it - especially after he bought me a Christmas present and I ignored him. I should get him something. Decision: made.

That's all for now! - NB