My friends are all out in the other room watching some stupid movie. I couldn't watch anymore of it. I'm not into stupid humor.

Kelly's cabin is sweet. We're having a good time so far. Lauren convinced her mother to let her join us. I guess Mrs. Anderson figured out that Josh would keep an eye on her. She was right, he's been playing chaperon, but Lauren has been on good behavior. She told me last night that she wants to take things slowly with Alex. I'm proud of her because a week ago she was ready to throw herself at him.

Natalie twisted her ankle this afternoon. I was feeling bad for her but Jason and Patrick have been waiting on her all night. I think she's enjoying it.

Josh has been pretty cool about Patrick being here. The other night he was kind of upset about it but we talked, and I explained to him that it was over for me and Patrick the moment Josh and I came face-to-face last May. I told him that I have waited such a long time for him to be here, and I don't want anything or anyone to ruin what we have.

Besides, if Patrick had really wanted me he wouldn't have walked away just because Josh asked him to. And if I had really wanted Patrick, I wouldn't have spent the past four months pining away helplessly for Josh. Don't get me wrong - Patrick is a really great guy, but he is no Josh Anderson.

Oh, and Josh has me under such a spell. Every look we share, and every time he touches me, I become totally weak. It's the whole nine yards: weak knees, pounding heart, sweaty palms, and feeling warm all over. And my helpless heart can't resist those blue eyes and charming smile of his. It would be absolutely mortifying if he wasn't also in this state that I'm in. I know these feelings of "new love" don't last forever so I'm trying to savor every moment and keep it close to my heart because I'm holding on to him this time. I'm not letting him go again.