Busy few days. Lots of rehearsing and working. I'm glad to have an afternoon to myself.

Okay, so Saturday night I went to Lauren's girls' night. It was all of her sorority sisters so I was kind of the odd one out. I was kind of hoping Josh would be around but he wasn't so I tried to have a good time but I just wanted to get out of there. Later in the evening we went out to the pool and we were sitting there when one of the girls said, "Ooh, hot big brother is home." I turned and saw Josh walking towards us. He smiled and waved at everyone and then he saw me and his face lit up. I finally felt comfortable.

I was sitting on the edge of the pool and he walked over and sat down with me. He had just gotten back from work - which made me happy because I thought he was with Amber. We were talking and the rest of the girls decided to go inside but I stayed there with Josh. We talked for a while about the swim club and then he asked how rehearsals for the All Star performance were going.

I told him we hadn't started yet and that I was bummed because I have great choreography for "Billy Jean" but no leading man to pull it off. He asked why Mark wasn't doing it, and I told him that Mark was a great dancer but I needed a great performer. He said, "It's a shame to let great choreography go to waste."

I nodded and then I felt myself tearing up! Ugh, so embarrassing! But it gets worse because I did what I said I was absolutely NOT going to do! I said, "Why don't you want to dance with me, Josh?" He looked at me and said, "Whoa, who said I don't want to dance with you?" Then he told me that he opted out because he thought I was already dancing with Mark and he didn't want me to reject him! Then he asked if I wanted him to dance with me. I nodded and said, "If you want to." He wiped the tears off my face and pressed his forehead against mine and said, "Of course I want to. I'd do anything for you, Nicole. Anything." Then he leaned in and kissed me. And it was such a good kiss, except that Amber popped into my head. I pulled away from him and said, "you have to break up with her." He nodded and said he would.

Busy day of rehearsing with Raj. Tomorrow I'm working on a showcase piece with Mark, Natalie, JD, Lauren and Damon. We're going to do a dance at the July 4th celebration. Josh asked me to do it and I jumped on it as a way to advertise the dance studio.

Tonight I'm heading over to the Anderson's house. Lauren is having a girl's weekend while her parents are in Connecticut. I'm not really looking forward to it, but I promised I'd go. It's all of her sorority sisters so I'm not really going to know anyone, but Lauren really wanted me there.

That's all for now!

Today was so nice. I got to sleep in! No camp on Fridays. I can't believe how tired I am after just one week of camp and rehearsal. It's just going to get busier and busier as the summer moves along.

We had a meeting last night to go over the numbers for our Michael Jackson tribute. We're doing Beat It, Billy Jean and Wanna Be Startin' Something. We wanted to stay away from doing anything like the number on "Dancing With The Stars." We wanted it to be our own. I still have to figure out what I'm going to do with Billy Jean. We talked about splitting it up. Mona and JD wanted me to talk to Josh about doing it. I'm still not sure. Although I am sure that I am not going to go to Josh and beg him to do it.

Raj and I had an abbreviated rehearsal. I can't believe how good he is. I feel like I hit a gold mine! I really hope he does well when we get on stage. I would love another trophy!!!!

I'm trying to steer clear of Josh. It's best that I stay away from him. He is my boss for the next few weeks and I don't want to get all mad at him over his lack of participation in the All Star performance. I'm just bummed. I told JD and Mona about this great idea I had for the "Billie Jean" portion of the MJ Tribute and it requires a leading man. Josh is really the only male dancer we've had that can pull of a performance that big. There are other dancers who are technically sound, but I really wanted someone with a big stage presence to dance with me. I guess without even consciously thinking about it, I pictured that someone being Josh.

Well, I'm just going to have to get over that. It's not happening. I'm trying to focus on what is happening. I'm focused on Raj. The Waltz is coming along beautifully. I'm not worried at all. In fact, he's learning so fast that we're going to start rehearsing our second dance (the Jive) so that he's ready for week 2. I'm also working with Mark on our Cha Cha to "Mercy." That is one of my most favorite dances that I've ever done so it's nice to relive it. And it's nice to be getting along with Mark again. I really care about him, even if it's just in a friendship sort of way.

I got the low down on the Lauren and Alex break up. He graduated a few weeks ago and decided he wants to live here in Pennsylvania. Lauren freaked out because she has two more years of school in Connecticut and she moved up there to be with him. I guess she was expecting him to stay there. He's not so she gave him an ultimatum and he didn't take it. They are both furious with each other. It's really not good. Lucky for Alex, Aunt Lu is going to let him stay with her until he gets a job and finds a place of his own.

Well, time for a quick dinner and then it's off to dance rehearsal!

My coffee with Mark was nice on Sunday. We got to talk and he doesn't seem mad at my anymore. We're going to start rehearsal for our All Star performance of our Cha Cha. We do it the second week of competition. Natalie is doing the first All Star performance the first week. She is doing her Jive to "Candy Man" - one of the best performances we've ever had so I'm really looking forward to seeing it again.

I found out that Josh opted out of being in the All Star performance. I have to admit that I'm kind of hurt. I don't know why he opted out but it still stings. He's my only winning partner. He's the most popular dancer we've ever had. When Mona told me, I couldn't help but take it personally. I mean, I'm helping him out at the swim club this summer and he can't even do one stinking dance with me? Mona asked me to try to talk to him, but I told her no. I'm not going over there and begging him to dance with me. I need to stay away from him.

Maybe Henry was right. Maybe Josh and I can't get along. Just writing this is getting me all worked up. I'm glad he doesn't live next door or I would probably go over there and give him a piece of my mind. Grrr!!!

Today was my first official day back at the swim club. I was a little nervous but it was fun. The kids were excited and the place was buzzing with the first day of camp and swimming lessons.

My group has swimming lessons at the end of the morning which works out well. We dance for a while, get all hot and sweaty, and then head for the pool. Josh was walking around the pool making sure all was going well when I got out there with my group. I have to admit, I got a small amount of satisfaction out of the double take he did when he saw me come outside in my bathing suit - especially after spending hours and hours over the past few months doing dancer's exercises to tone and shape up. I love that he noticed, even if he didn't come out and say it. When it came to actually talking, he was all business. I didn't seem him again before I left, but I can't help smiling every time I think of the way he looked at me.

Maybe I shouldn't be thinking about the way he looked at me. I just can't help it though. When it comes to Josh no amount of will power is enough to keep my mind off of him.

Ugh. I'm exhausted. Lauren called last night and kept me on the phone for hours telling me about her break up with Alex and asking me questions about what he told me. Then she started in on how much she hates Amber and how I need to steal Josh away from her. Why do I always get caught in the middle of this stuff?

This morning I rehearsed with Raj for a few hours. Things are going well with him. He's a great dancer!!! But my cell kept ringing all morning and it was very distracting. I finally decided I should answer it. It was Mark. It's father's day and he sounded upset. I'm really surprised that he reached out to me instead of holding it in, which is the typical Mark thing to do. I'm going to meet him at Starbucks later to talk.

I also need to get over to the swim club to set up the dance room for dance camp tomorrow. During our last summer at the club I remember lamenting to Josh that it was over, and he said we'd be back. I hate that he's always right. I was hesitant to go back, but now I'm excited about it. I love that place and I can't wait to work with the kids. I only hope that Henry was wrong when he said Josh and I need a referee. I'm going to do my best to get along with him and be a model employee.

I met Raj and his wife, Anisha, last night. They are both really cool. Anisha teaches yoga and belly dancing so we had a nice time talking. They invited me to stay for dinner so I ended up missing the gathering at Nat's. I think it was for the best. I heard that Josh and Amber were there and that would have made me uncomfortable.

Today was my first day of rehearsal with Raj. We're doing a Waltz to "Sam" by Olivia Newton-John. He wasn't thrilled with the song but it was assigned to us. I told him I'd try to have more influence over future songs. I think he wants songs that are a little more current. He seems like a pretty good dancer so far, and he wants to win. I might actually have a true contender on my hands. I'm trying not to let myself get my hopes up too high.

I got home around 5:00 and about 15 minutes later the doorbell rings. Alex was standing there with his bags. He's going to be staying with us for the summer. He and Lauren broke up and he doesn't want to stay at the Anderson's house anymore. I swear there is never a dull moment around here.

I just got back from lunch with Henry and he laughed his ass off when he heard that I'm going to be working for Josh at the swim club this summer. I asked him what was so funny and he said, "who's going to referee the two of you?" I know he's talking about summer of 2007 - a summer that ended well but started off rocky and Henry had to step in a few times to help us keep the peace. I told him that we are past all of that. I know we haven't spent a lot of time together, but so far things with Josh have been very amicable. I really respect the fact that he took a step away from the fast life to help his family. And by running the dance camp I'm helping him. I just seems like the right thing to do.

Mona called this morning and told me that they want to do All Star performances this summer in addition to the MJ tribute. She said she talked to Mark about doing our Cha Cha from last year and he agreed to do it. I'm shocked. He hasn't spoken to me in weeks. Maybe he's ready to bury the hatchet. Lets hope.

I told Josh that if he couldn't find another dance teacher by today I'd take the job. He didn't find another dance teacher. Looks like he's my new boss.

I just got back from the mandatory CPR training. It was good to relearn that info. I'm going to need it anyway since I plan to finally get my fitness instructors certification.

Tomorrow I meet Raj, my dance partner for the summer. I spoke to him on the phone last night. He seemed very nice. He's young, but a little older than me. He's married and has a 9 to 5 job which means rehearsal time might be limited. I'm a little nervous about that but he seems very motivated to win.

I think the competition is going to be fun this year. Mona wants to do a design a dance with the former contestants and we're going to do a Michael Jackson tribute with our former contestants. We've been talking about doing an All Star Competition next year so this is to get an idea of whether people will be interested in watching former contestants.

And finally, the last member of the Anderson family is competing! Mrs. Anderson is dancing with JD! She wasn't going to do it after Mr. Anderson had his heart attach but they convinced her she needed to do something to take her mind off the stress at home.

It looks like it will be an interesting summer!

I'm back from vacation. We got back a few days ago. Then I woke up the next morning and I was sick. I finally got out of the house again today.

I went to the dance studio to do some work and Josh stopped in to see me. I was pretty surprised because I thought he'd be up in New York. It turns out that Josh decided to move home for the summer to help his family out while his father recovers. And get this, his uncle's new swim club manager quit on him after the first weekend so Josh took the job! But that's not where it ends. He needs someone to run the dance camp and naturally he thought of me.

I guess a lot has happened since I left for vacation. So the question is...do I help out at the swim club this summer? I miss the club, but working with Josh? That could be tricky.