Busy few days. Lots of rehearsing and working. I'm glad to have an afternoon to myself.

Okay, so Saturday night I went to Lauren's girls' night. It was all of her sorority sisters so I was kind of the odd one out. I was kind of hoping Josh would be around but he wasn't so I tried to have a good time but I just wanted to get out of there. Later in the evening we went out to the pool and we were sitting there when one of the girls said, "Ooh, hot big brother is home." I turned and saw Josh walking towards us. He smiled and waved at everyone and then he saw me and his face lit up. I finally felt comfortable.

I was sitting on the edge of the pool and he walked over and sat down with me. He had just gotten back from work - which made me happy because I thought he was with Amber. We were talking and the rest of the girls decided to go inside but I stayed there with Josh. We talked for a while about the swim club and then he asked how rehearsals for the All Star performance were going.

I told him we hadn't started yet and that I was bummed because I have great choreography for "Billy Jean" but no leading man to pull it off. He asked why Mark wasn't doing it, and I told him that Mark was a great dancer but I needed a great performer. He said, "It's a shame to let great choreography go to waste."

I nodded and then I felt myself tearing up! Ugh, so embarrassing! But it gets worse because I did what I said I was absolutely NOT going to do! I said, "Why don't you want to dance with me, Josh?" He looked at me and said, "Whoa, who said I don't want to dance with you?" Then he told me that he opted out because he thought I was already dancing with Mark and he didn't want me to reject him! Then he asked if I wanted him to dance with me. I nodded and said, "If you want to." He wiped the tears off my face and pressed his forehead against mine and said, "Of course I want to. I'd do anything for you, Nicole. Anything." Then he leaned in and kissed me. And it was such a good kiss, except that Amber popped into my head. I pulled away from him and said, "you have to break up with her." He nodded and said he would.