The competition begins this week! Our first dance is the Waltz and we've been rehearsing for a few weeks now. It's been going really well. There are some times that it is kind of hard. I'll admit that the dance has brought up some old feelings. We're dancing to a song called "Softly As I Leave You" by Michael Buble.  I doubt it is bringing up old feelings for Josh, but it definitely reminds me of the times he's left, but more that that, it brings up a lot of my abandonment issues with my parents. I really should go into dance therapy...

We are doing so well on our rehearsals for the Waltz that we got permission to begin our second dance. We're doing the Samba, which I am super excited about. Josh not so much since that was his most challenging dance, but I think it's good strategy for us. Lets get the most difficult dance out of the way while there are lots of competitors that can be eliminated. If we wait until there is less competition, there is more chance of us being eliminated. I think it's going to work in our favor.

Lauren and I had lunch last week and she brought up the pact. Our conversation went something like this:

Lauren: “I don’t understand. You guys text each other non-stop. You’re going to dance together, but you’re not a couple?”Me: “Nope. Just friends.”Lauren: “Do you have another one of those stupid pacts?”Me: “Wow...I forgot about the pact.”Lauren: “You guys should be a couple.”

Even after all these years, Lauren is still hell bent on me and Josh being together.

I’m not sure that I really forgot about the pact, but I have been avoiding the topic. A pact makes sense when you’re still a very young, immature kid, but Josh and I are adults now. I don’t think we need a pact to guide our behavior. I mean, we should be grown-up enough now to properly navigate our relationship. At least that’s what Josh told me when it came up in a conversation a few hours after my chat with Lauren.

“No pact,” is what he told me, and that it was non-negotiable. I’m not sure if he’s so against the pact because there is nothing between us, or if he wants there to be something between us. Probably the former and not the latter. I don’t even want to let my brain go down that road.