Grr...my computer crashed and I lost my whole post. So here it goes again...

This morning I got up early and went outside to meet Lauren to go pick up Molly's cat. Josh was outside packing up his car to head back to the Poconos. He asked me if I am going to Alex's party tomorrow night. I told him yes and he said, "I think I'll come home for that." Yippie! That means I'll see him tomorrow. I just hope I can be the one to kiss him at midnight!

Lauren and I picked out a cute white female kitten with black and gray patches on her fur. She's adorable. I almost wanted to keep her for myself, but the look on Molly's face when we gave her the kitten was priceless. She was so happy and it reminded me what this season is all about...faith, love and giving.

Lauren and I spent the rest of the day like couch potatoes. Apparently she had ten episodes of "Roswell" saved on the TiVo and Josh was threatening to delete them. We spent the whole afternoon watching the show. I didn't watch when it originally aired but I love it now! Liz and Max remind me of me and Josh...Okay, so I have a one track mind...

After dinner Alex stopped by to see him. He and Beck have been fighting since we ran into them the other night. Becky thinks that Alex is still in love with Molly and broke things off with him today. The poor guy...he looked so depressed that I didn't have the heart to ask him if it's true...if he is still hung up on Molly.

I'm so hung up on Josh. It drives me nuts. It's like today when I was watching TV, I could see us in the characters. It's like I'm obsessed!

What did Josh mean when he said, "I think I'll come home for that?" Was it some sort of message? Did he mean, "I have to kiss you at midnight because you're in my blood and I need you to stay alive?" Or was it just something to say?

Does he even go through half of what I go through? Does he feel like he's holding his breath until he sees me? Does he feel like every second of every day is meant to be preparation for our next meeting? That the only thing that's important is those few moments - so precious and few - that we're together?

Does he think about me non-stop like I think about him? Is he as tortured when we're not together as I am? Does he think about our kiss and relive it in his mind everytime he's alone? Does he lie awake at night wondering what's going to happen between us?

Or is it just me? Am I alone in this? Am I facing unrequited love and inevitable heartache and misery?