I'm going crazy. I don't know what to do. Now that I know Alex and Becky are history, do I tell Molly? Is Alex still in love with her? AUGGGHHHHH! So many questions.

And then there's the Josh questions... Lauren told me this morning that Nancy keeps calling the house for Josh. Grrr... Why is there always some girl waiting on the sidelines to pounce on Josh the minute I finally feel like we're making a connection? Jennifer, Wendy, Nancy. It never ends. Why, oh why, can't I just have some time alone with him to find out if we stand a chance?

I'm counting down the seconds to tonight. I can't wait to see him, to look in his eyes and see what's there. And at midnight if I'm not in his arms then I'll know that it's time to move on. If he doesn't want to kiss me only one week from the most magical kiss of my life, then I'll know that we're not meant to be.

There it's in writing, so if I'm still pining for the guy next week and there was no kiss tonight then we'll all know I'm a big hypocrite.

But if there is a kiss tonight...well, then I'm holding on to him with both hands and any girl that tries to get in my way will be very sorry.