“Tonight, tonight won’t be just any night…
Tonight, tonight I’ll see my love tonight…
Today the minutes seem like hours
The hours go so slowly,
And still the sky is light!
Oh moon, grow bright,
And make this endless day endless night!”
Oh, how those lyrics from “West Side Story” ring true today…
I can’t wait until tonight. I’ve been going crazy all morning. Thank God I have study hall now, because I don’t think I could possibly sit through another class. I was getting ready to pull my hair out!
All I want is for the evening to start so I can see Josh, so I can look into his beautiful eyes, and dance close to him and feel his arms around me. But like the song says, every minute seems like an hour today. The day is still new and already I’m going out of my mind because it’s dragging on so slowly. Maybe things will go by faster once they let us out.
I just can’t wait. Even the rain isn’t going to get me down. I’m going to the prom with Josh!
Friday, April 29, 2005
Thursday, April 28, 2005
The weather forecast for this weekend is just plain old depressing! :(
My first trip to the Jersey Shore and it's going to rain. Oh well, maybe Josh and I can cuddle up on the couch all weekend...probably not though since everyone else is going to be there.
More than anything, the rain annoys me because it means we'll all be stuck in the house and Josh and I won't get much alone time together. I was hoping for some late night walks on the beach. Oh well, I'm still hoping the sun will come out and surprise us. And it will still be fun even if it does rain.
I talked to Josh last night to iron out the details for Friday. He's taking the noon train to Princeton after his last class tomorrow. Jason is going to pick him up and bring him home. He's going to meet me at my house that evening.
Tomorrow we get out of school early so that we can all get gussied up for the prom. Molly and I are getting our hair done. I can't believe how this year feels so much more exciting and fun than last year. I was almost dreading it last year but this year I can hardly wait...I finally have a best friend here and a really great prom date. I hope that after the weekend he'll be so much more than the boy next door or a prom date. I'm tired of pretending we're just friends. As Dr. Phil says, "it's time to get real!"
I can't wait!!!!!!!! :-D
My first trip to the Jersey Shore and it's going to rain. Oh well, maybe Josh and I can cuddle up on the couch all weekend...probably not though since everyone else is going to be there.
More than anything, the rain annoys me because it means we'll all be stuck in the house and Josh and I won't get much alone time together. I was hoping for some late night walks on the beach. Oh well, I'm still hoping the sun will come out and surprise us. And it will still be fun even if it does rain.
I talked to Josh last night to iron out the details for Friday. He's taking the noon train to Princeton after his last class tomorrow. Jason is going to pick him up and bring him home. He's going to meet me at my house that evening.
Tomorrow we get out of school early so that we can all get gussied up for the prom. Molly and I are getting our hair done. I can't believe how this year feels so much more exciting and fun than last year. I was almost dreading it last year but this year I can hardly wait...I finally have a best friend here and a really great prom date. I hope that after the weekend he'll be so much more than the boy next door or a prom date. I'm tired of pretending we're just friends. As Dr. Phil says, "it's time to get real!"
I can't wait!!!!!!!! :-D
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
The weekend was fabulous... Josh and I finally had a heart to heart talk Friday night and a lot of my questions were answered without even having to ask.
We went out to dinner with the gang...Kelly, Jason, Molly, Alex, Lindsay, Rob and Tom. Jennifer and Terry were going to meet up with us at the movies but everything we wanted to see was sold out and we couldn't come to an agreement so Kelly invited us all back to her house.
Her house is enormous. It puts Natalie's house to shame. She has a hot tub outside so we were all in and out of it - except Lindsay and Tom who were hanging out inside. It was fun but the water was getting too hot for me and I know it's not good to stay in the hot tub for too long so I got out and went inside to hang with Lindsay and Tom.
Josh followed me inside and the four of us were talking. Tom was trying to teach Lindsay how to play the guitar and I mentioned that I wanted to learn the piano. So Josh told me he could help me out with that. I feel bad because he practically taught me to drive so I told him I'd feel like I was taking advantage of him. He said it was okay as long as I taught him a few dance moves.
Lindsay kind of jumped on that idea and said she and Tom could use some new moves. To Tom's chagrin, Lindsay had pulled him off the bar stool he was sitting on and was ready for a dance lesson.
We went into the living room and put on the radio and I taught them the basic steps to the Rhumba and the Fox Trot. Tom and Lindsay lost interest pretty fast and headed outside but Josh pulled me close to him for a slow dance. I just let myself go and sink into his arms. It felt so good being close to him.
The song "I Only Have Eyes For You" came on and I told him it reminded me of him because it was playing at the 50's restaurant that we went to after Lauren's birthday last year. He just smiled at me and moved close and I thought for a second that he was going to kiss me but he pulled back and said, "I can't kiss you tonight. I can't do that to you again."
I asked him what he was talking about and then things just started to come out. He said he couldn't kiss me again and then leave for New York the next morning. He knew that he had left me without explanation when he moved and he wasn't going to do it again.
After his uncle died it made him think of all of the lost potential and unfulfilled dreams - it made him want to live out his dreams...especially the one to live in New York. He told me after he got there he realized what an idiot he had been to push me away. He had planned to come home and try to convince me that we could still make things work. He had a whole romantic night planned out for us BUT Nancy called him the Thursday night before he was going to come home and told him that I was dating Tom!
When he told me this I was furious. I mean, think of all of the heartache I've been needlessly dealing with for months! All because of that - you know what! GRRRRRRR....
Anyway, he went on to say that he was sorry for all of the confusion, but he didn't want to start something and then have to rush back to New York. He said he'd rather wait and take things slowly so that there's no more confusion or hurt for either of us. I understood where he was coming from even though I really wanted him to kiss me.
Lindsay came back in then and told us they wanted to order a pizza. That was the end of the conversation until we got home later that night. As we said good night he pulled me close to him and said, "Next weekend you're all mine." And then he kissed my cheek and said, "I'll see you then."
We went out to dinner with the gang...Kelly, Jason, Molly, Alex, Lindsay, Rob and Tom. Jennifer and Terry were going to meet up with us at the movies but everything we wanted to see was sold out and we couldn't come to an agreement so Kelly invited us all back to her house.
Her house is enormous. It puts Natalie's house to shame. She has a hot tub outside so we were all in and out of it - except Lindsay and Tom who were hanging out inside. It was fun but the water was getting too hot for me and I know it's not good to stay in the hot tub for too long so I got out and went inside to hang with Lindsay and Tom.
Josh followed me inside and the four of us were talking. Tom was trying to teach Lindsay how to play the guitar and I mentioned that I wanted to learn the piano. So Josh told me he could help me out with that. I feel bad because he practically taught me to drive so I told him I'd feel like I was taking advantage of him. He said it was okay as long as I taught him a few dance moves.
Lindsay kind of jumped on that idea and said she and Tom could use some new moves. To Tom's chagrin, Lindsay had pulled him off the bar stool he was sitting on and was ready for a dance lesson.
We went into the living room and put on the radio and I taught them the basic steps to the Rhumba and the Fox Trot. Tom and Lindsay lost interest pretty fast and headed outside but Josh pulled me close to him for a slow dance. I just let myself go and sink into his arms. It felt so good being close to him.
The song "I Only Have Eyes For You" came on and I told him it reminded me of him because it was playing at the 50's restaurant that we went to after Lauren's birthday last year. He just smiled at me and moved close and I thought for a second that he was going to kiss me but he pulled back and said, "I can't kiss you tonight. I can't do that to you again."
I asked him what he was talking about and then things just started to come out. He said he couldn't kiss me again and then leave for New York the next morning. He knew that he had left me without explanation when he moved and he wasn't going to do it again.
After his uncle died it made him think of all of the lost potential and unfulfilled dreams - it made him want to live out his dreams...especially the one to live in New York. He told me after he got there he realized what an idiot he had been to push me away. He had planned to come home and try to convince me that we could still make things work. He had a whole romantic night planned out for us BUT Nancy called him the Thursday night before he was going to come home and told him that I was dating Tom!
When he told me this I was furious. I mean, think of all of the heartache I've been needlessly dealing with for months! All because of that - you know what! GRRRRRRR....
Anyway, he went on to say that he was sorry for all of the confusion, but he didn't want to start something and then have to rush back to New York. He said he'd rather wait and take things slowly so that there's no more confusion or hurt for either of us. I understood where he was coming from even though I really wanted him to kiss me.
Lindsay came back in then and told us they wanted to order a pizza. That was the end of the conversation until we got home later that night. As we said good night he pulled me close to him and said, "Next weekend you're all mine." And then he kissed my cheek and said, "I'll see you then."
Thursday, April 21, 2005
I just got home from the dance studio. This Saturday is the recital for the kids. They are so excited...it's really cute!
I'm back to my normal stuff...obsessing over Josh. My desk looks right out my window into his window. So far no lights on in his room, but I think he's home. His dad's car is in the driveway and he said he was coming back with his dad.
I know I'm nuts, but I can't help it. I am so crazy about him. It drives me nuts because I know that I do foolish things just to be a part of his life. I need more self-control. I need to stop letting him consume me. I was starting to do a good job at it, but since Easter he's all I can think of... I take one look into those amazing blue eyes and I'm at his mercy.
I think I'll go downstairs and sit with my mom and Aunt Lu. I'd hate for him to walk into his room and find me staring into his window. Funny, since that was our first encounter... The very first time I walked into my bedroom I looked out the window and saw him in his room. I was just staring at him and he saw me. Later that day when we met in person he called me a "peeping Thompson" (Aunt Lu's last name is Thompson - he didn't know that's not my last name). Okay, time to go. I'll write more tomorrow!
I'm back to my normal stuff...obsessing over Josh. My desk looks right out my window into his window. So far no lights on in his room, but I think he's home. His dad's car is in the driveway and he said he was coming back with his dad.
I know I'm nuts, but I can't help it. I am so crazy about him. It drives me nuts because I know that I do foolish things just to be a part of his life. I need more self-control. I need to stop letting him consume me. I was starting to do a good job at it, but since Easter he's all I can think of... I take one look into those amazing blue eyes and I'm at his mercy.
I think I'll go downstairs and sit with my mom and Aunt Lu. I'd hate for him to walk into his room and find me staring into his window. Funny, since that was our first encounter... The very first time I walked into my bedroom I looked out the window and saw him in his room. I was just staring at him and he saw me. Later that day when we met in person he called me a "peeping Thompson" (Aunt Lu's last name is Thompson - he didn't know that's not my last name). Okay, time to go. I'll write more tomorrow!
The weather in Pennsylvania the past few weeks has been a Florida girl's dream come true! Today Molly and I went into town after school for some ice cream. We walked around for a little while. It was so nice to be out in the beautiful weather - especially since the weather forecast is showing that April Showers will be hitting us for the next few days.
I got a call from Josh on my way home. He's headed to his dad's office and then coming home with him. One of his fillings fell out so he has to come home so he can see the dentist tomorrow morning. He's only staying until Saturday morning, but he's going to go out with me and the gang tomorrow night! Thank God, because I didn't think I'd make it another week without looking into those amazing blue eyes!
I just hope I can get some sleep tonight. It will be difficult knowing that he's next door and I won't be able to see him until tomorrow. Luckily, I have to help with a dance class tonight so I wouldn't be sitting by the window waiting for his dad's car to pull up!
I got a call from Josh on my way home. He's headed to his dad's office and then coming home with him. One of his fillings fell out so he has to come home so he can see the dentist tomorrow morning. He's only staying until Saturday morning, but he's going to go out with me and the gang tomorrow night! Thank God, because I didn't think I'd make it another week without looking into those amazing blue eyes!
I just hope I can get some sleep tonight. It will be difficult knowing that he's next door and I won't be able to see him until tomorrow. Luckily, I have to help with a dance class tonight so I wouldn't be sitting by the window waiting for his dad's car to pull up!
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
It's only been two days and already I miss Josh.
Molly and I were talking this afternoon. I told her that I wasn't sure I could even date Josh if he was interested in me because he lives in New York. I just miss him so much as it is. Wouldn't it make me miss him that much more if we were dating? But she pointed out that summer is almost here and he'll be back for a few months. And then she laughed and said, "Who are we kidding? A hundred mile distance isn't going to keep you from Josh!"
She's right. It probably wouldn't, but it does worry me a bit. I should just stop worrying about it. If things head in that direction, we'll have the summer to build a relationship before he goes back to New York. And New York is so close: a quick train ride to Princeton and then 40 minutes in the car back to Pennsylvania. He'd be home in less than 2 hours.
Maybe I shouldn't plan out our relationship before I figure out if there's going to be one. I still don't understand what's holding him back. And it's now obvious that something has held him back. But what? And why? It's so frustrating!
Molly and I were talking this afternoon. I told her that I wasn't sure I could even date Josh if he was interested in me because he lives in New York. I just miss him so much as it is. Wouldn't it make me miss him that much more if we were dating? But she pointed out that summer is almost here and he'll be back for a few months. And then she laughed and said, "Who are we kidding? A hundred mile distance isn't going to keep you from Josh!"
She's right. It probably wouldn't, but it does worry me a bit. I should just stop worrying about it. If things head in that direction, we'll have the summer to build a relationship before he goes back to New York. And New York is so close: a quick train ride to Princeton and then 40 minutes in the car back to Pennsylvania. He'd be home in less than 2 hours.
Maybe I shouldn't plan out our relationship before I figure out if there's going to be one. I still don't understand what's holding him back. And it's now obvious that something has held him back. But what? And why? It's so frustrating!
Monday, April 18, 2005
This past weekend was fabulous! Saturday was Lauren's b-day celebration at the Phillies' game. I was going crazy with anticipation of seeing Josh. All Friday night and Saturday morning I was acting a little crazy. All of the aching energy I had was overflowing. I was glad I had to work at the dance studio Saturday morning. I helped out with an aerobics class and I got to work off some of that energy. I know I'm a little crazy when it comes to him, but I know the impact of seeing him and what it does to me.
The moment I saw him Saturday afternoon all of it made sense...the reason I get so crazy when I'm around him...it's because there this chemistry there, this amazing chemistry that I have never felt with anyone else. When he gave me a hug hello, I could feel an energy pass between us.
I rode with him and some of Lauren's friends down to the ballpark. It was pretty uneventful. When we got there Josh and I sat together. When we sat down he joked that "this is where it all began" and mentioned how I had saved him the year before from a day of torture. It was kind of nice knowing that he remembered that.
After awhile we decided to go get something to eat. Josh climbed over a few rows of seats because we would have had to make a ton of people get up to let us out. I didn't want to climb over because I was afraid I'd fall on my face. He was like, "what's wrong?" I told him I was afraid I'd "get hurt." Then he held out his hand to me and said, "Don't worry. I'll catch you if you fall." I let him help me down and wondered if he'd catch me if I fell madly in love with him too. I noticed Mrs. Anderson smiling at the exchange and thought for a minute that she was thinking the same thing I was. I wonder what she'd think if I started dating her son.
After the game we went back to the Anderson's house for birthday cake. I couldn't stay long because it was also Kim's birthday and I promised my friends I'd meet them at her house. She was having a party too.
Josh wanted to go with me so I took him along. When we got there Kim's boyfriend, Kevin, got Josh involved in a game of pool so I hung out with Molly, Lindsay and Jennifer. Every once in a while Josh would catch my eye and smile at me as if to say, "don't worry I didn't forget about you." It was really cute, and it made me feel like I mean something to him...something more than friends.
The next day I went to the mall with Josh, Lauren and her friend. I was there to help him pick out a tux for the prom. Lauren and her friend were shopping with Lauren's birthday money. It was a fun day but nothing too eventful happened.
When we got home Josh walked me to the door. I kept wondering how I'd make it through another two weeks without seeing him. I had been longing for him since I left New York and now I have to wait another two weeks to see him. He gave me a big hug at the door and I could feel the electricity around us.
Then he said "you give the best hugs." I told him I thought he was the one who gave the best hugs. He laughed and said, "it's probably all of that chemistry!" Then he winked at me. I just stood there for a second and then I said, "So you feel it too?" He looked at me a little surprised and was like, "of course I feel it."
For a minute I thought the world stood still. It felt like forever with me standing there completely shocked, relieved and full of questions. He feels it too! He really feels it? So why hasn't he done anything about it since New Years? Why hasn't he kissed me again? Or told me how he feels? What's holding him back? What's keeping us from being together? Or is it possible to have amazing chemistry with someone and not feel a thing for them? Is that the case here? I'm seriously ready to start pulling petals off a daisy...he loves me, he loves me not...which is it?!?!?
My mother opened the door then. At the time I was annoyed that she interrupted but now I'm grateful. I need to collect my thought before I bombard him with questions. She told me dinner was ready. Josh and I said good-bye and that was the end of it. Next time I see him it will be prom night.
The moment I saw him Saturday afternoon all of it made sense...the reason I get so crazy when I'm around him...it's because there this chemistry there, this amazing chemistry that I have never felt with anyone else. When he gave me a hug hello, I could feel an energy pass between us.
I rode with him and some of Lauren's friends down to the ballpark. It was pretty uneventful. When we got there Josh and I sat together. When we sat down he joked that "this is where it all began" and mentioned how I had saved him the year before from a day of torture. It was kind of nice knowing that he remembered that.
After awhile we decided to go get something to eat. Josh climbed over a few rows of seats because we would have had to make a ton of people get up to let us out. I didn't want to climb over because I was afraid I'd fall on my face. He was like, "what's wrong?" I told him I was afraid I'd "get hurt." Then he held out his hand to me and said, "Don't worry. I'll catch you if you fall." I let him help me down and wondered if he'd catch me if I fell madly in love with him too. I noticed Mrs. Anderson smiling at the exchange and thought for a minute that she was thinking the same thing I was. I wonder what she'd think if I started dating her son.
After the game we went back to the Anderson's house for birthday cake. I couldn't stay long because it was also Kim's birthday and I promised my friends I'd meet them at her house. She was having a party too.
Josh wanted to go with me so I took him along. When we got there Kim's boyfriend, Kevin, got Josh involved in a game of pool so I hung out with Molly, Lindsay and Jennifer. Every once in a while Josh would catch my eye and smile at me as if to say, "don't worry I didn't forget about you." It was really cute, and it made me feel like I mean something to him...something more than friends.
The next day I went to the mall with Josh, Lauren and her friend. I was there to help him pick out a tux for the prom. Lauren and her friend were shopping with Lauren's birthday money. It was a fun day but nothing too eventful happened.
When we got home Josh walked me to the door. I kept wondering how I'd make it through another two weeks without seeing him. I had been longing for him since I left New York and now I have to wait another two weeks to see him. He gave me a big hug at the door and I could feel the electricity around us.
Then he said "you give the best hugs." I told him I thought he was the one who gave the best hugs. He laughed and said, "it's probably all of that chemistry!" Then he winked at me. I just stood there for a second and then I said, "So you feel it too?" He looked at me a little surprised and was like, "of course I feel it."
For a minute I thought the world stood still. It felt like forever with me standing there completely shocked, relieved and full of questions. He feels it too! He really feels it? So why hasn't he done anything about it since New Years? Why hasn't he kissed me again? Or told me how he feels? What's holding him back? What's keeping us from being together? Or is it possible to have amazing chemistry with someone and not feel a thing for them? Is that the case here? I'm seriously ready to start pulling petals off a daisy...he loves me, he loves me not...which is it?!?!?
My mother opened the door then. At the time I was annoyed that she interrupted but now I'm grateful. I need to collect my thought before I bombard him with questions. She told me dinner was ready. Josh and I said good-bye and that was the end of it. Next time I see him it will be prom night.
Friday, April 15, 2005
I know, I know...it's been a while. Things have been really busy. Molly and I have been thinking and talking about the prom 24/7. I didn't realize how much I wanted to go...or maybe I just want to go now that Josh is going to be my date. It doesn't matter - I'm just so excited and it's still two weeks away.
This weekend should be fun though. It's Lauren's birthday and she's doing another Phillies' game party. I'm the only one out of my group of friends who will be there, but Josh is coming home so I'll get to hang out with him.
He was originally going to come home today so he could hang out with us tonight, but he has to cover for his friend at the restaurant tonight so he won't be in town until tomorrow. I just can't wait to see him. Everyone else at the party will be high school freshman so I pretty much have a guarantee that I'll have him all to myself! I can't wait.
We figured out the prom plans too. We decided to forgo the limo this year and do it next year for our senior prom. We're heading down to the shore for the weekend afterwards so it makes more sense for us to have our own cars. Molly's parents are nice enough to let us use their beach house. Lindsay, Tom, Jennifer, Terry, Molly, Alex, Kim, Kevin, Rhonda, Mitch, Josh and I are all going down. I can't wait. It will be my first time at the Jersey Shore!
This weekend should be fun though. It's Lauren's birthday and she's doing another Phillies' game party. I'm the only one out of my group of friends who will be there, but Josh is coming home so I'll get to hang out with him.
He was originally going to come home today so he could hang out with us tonight, but he has to cover for his friend at the restaurant tonight so he won't be in town until tomorrow. I just can't wait to see him. Everyone else at the party will be high school freshman so I pretty much have a guarantee that I'll have him all to myself! I can't wait.
We figured out the prom plans too. We decided to forgo the limo this year and do it next year for our senior prom. We're heading down to the shore for the weekend afterwards so it makes more sense for us to have our own cars. Molly's parents are nice enough to let us use their beach house. Lindsay, Tom, Jennifer, Terry, Molly, Alex, Kim, Kevin, Rhonda, Mitch, Josh and I are all going down. I can't wait. It will be my first time at the Jersey Shore!
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
I didn’t have a chance to log in at the hotel. The weekend was amazing. It was non-stop fun the entire time we were there. Here's a run-down of the weekend:
FRIDAY
We left school early morning on four buses to New York. We ate lunch at South Street Seaport and walked around there for a little while. I got some great pictures of the Brooklyn Bridge.
Molly was bugging me about the prom again and I started to consider asking Rob. I knew he’d be a safe date and then it would finally shut everyone up once and for all. I knew it wasn’t want Molly would have wanted but I was beginning to think it was a good idea.
After South Street Seaport we were supposed to go to the Natural History Museum, but the weather forecast for Saturday was so miserable that the chaperones had switched the museum to Saturday so that we could do our city tour on Friday while the weather was nice. We got on some city tour buses. It was awesome. The buses took us everywhere! We drove through Chinatown, Little Italy, past NYU (my heart was pounding just knowing that Josh was close by!), up Broadway and around Midtown. We saw the Empire State Building, Madison Square Garden, Rockefeller Center, the stores on Fifth Avenue, Central Park, the Met, Harlem, Columbia and then back to our hotel. It was really cool and it took all day.
We got to the hotel real late in the afternoon. It took over and hour to get us all to our assigned rooms. I was rooming with Molly and two girls that she’s friends with: Rhonda and Kim. I kind of wished that we were with Lindsay and Jen but we picked roommates in the beginning of the year and Molly didn’t get along with Jen as well back then.
We had an hour before our rehearsal/meeting so I went down to the gift shop to look for some postcards. I wanted to send one to Natalie so she’d see I finally made it to New York.
I was looking at the postcards when Josh walked up to me! He gave me a big hug and all the chemistry and sparks that are missing with Rob were there. And when he hugs me, he always holds on a few seconds longer than people usually do when the hug you. He was there to see his mom so I offered to walk him up to her room. She was right across the hall from my room.
So we get in the elevator and Rich and Paul were getting on with us. They’re seniors and were kind of friendly with Josh last year so they said hello, and then Rich turns to me and says, “Hey, Nicole, don’t forget – you have to keep the door open if you have boys in your room.”
Josh was like, “Boys?” I told him they were talking about him and then told Rich that Josh was there to visit his mother. Rich was like “Sure…” So Josh asked him what exactly he was getting at and Rich said something to the effect of, “if I had someone like Nicole hanging out with me, I wouldn’t be here to visit my mom.” Then the doors opened and we all got off the elevator. Josh just rolled his eyes at them.
I walked him to his mother’s room and said good-bye, but for some reason I turned around and said “Josh.” He turned and looked at me and I didn’t know what I had intended to say so I told him to never mind and ran into my room.
About twenty minutes later Alex, Lindsay, Rob and Kim’s boyfriend, Kevin were in our room hanging out and Josh showed up again. He hung out with us for about a half hour and then it was time for us to go down to dinner.
He walked down with us and I walked him to the door. He gave me a big hug and then pulled back and looked at me. He asked if everything was okay because it seemed like I wanted to say something to him. I did. I wanted to talk to him about the prom, but I couldn’t ask him so I denied it. I noticed he was still holding on to me and I didn’t want to let go. I kept looking into those eyes of his and thinking how close he was. I practically had to pull myself away from him to get to dinner. Standing there, so close to him, was all I could think about the rest of the night.
SATURDAY
We woke up early and it was raining. We went to our adjudication and I kept thinking about Josh. I knew I couldn’t go to the prom with Rob when my heart wanted to be with Josh so badly. I knew that if I went with Rob I’d spend the whole night wondering what it would have been like if I had just found the courage to ask Josh. I’d spend the whole night wishing I were with him.
After adjudication we went to the American Museum of Natural History. It’s not really my thing. I’m not into museums and I would have preferred to spend the day walking around the city and getting a feel for it, but I do have to admit that the museum was a good rainy day activity. And it was pouring out so it was good to be inside.
As we were walking around I somehow ended up alone with Rob. He seemed kind of nervous and I thought, “Oh no! He’s going to ask me to the prom.” But he said, “Nicole, I know Lindsay wants us to go to the prom together but I can’t go with you.” I just looked at him. I wasn’t sure what to say. I think I just mumbled “okay.”
He smiled and told me that it wasn’t about me and that he thinks I’m a great girl, but he saw me with Josh at the door the night before. He said something like, “I saw the way you looked at him, and the way he looked at you. You have to go with him.” He said that I would regret it if I didn’t ask Josh. I knew he was right, but the idea of being shot down was still too much to handle.
That night we had the awards ceremony. The concert choir only got a silver but all of the select groups got gold medals. The evening was fun. We ate dinner and danced. I danced with Rob, Alex and Tom, and I realized that Rob was right. The whole night I wished Josh was there to dance with me. I knew the prom would be even harder.
SUNDAY
The weather on Sunday wasn’t great but at least it wasn’t pouring. We sang in the park that morning. I kept looking around the crowd for Josh. I must have been annoying Molly because she pointed to him and was like “He’s here already!”
After we sang we had a bunch of different options of sites we could see. We decided to go to the Central Park Zoo first. I wasn’t really happy about that. I wanted to see the city but my friends wanted to go to the zoo. And of course, Ms. Nancy had to go to the zoo so that she could follow Josh around.
I was kind of sticking to myself and sulking a little. I wanted to go to city attractions and I was mad at myself for not ditching my friends and doing what I wanted to do. I was also annoyed that Nancy was hanging all over Josh.
Molly started in on me again. “Do you want him to end up going with her?” Molly kept saying it over and over and I was getting really upset.
Josh noticed I was keeping to myself so he dropped back to walk with me. He looked genuinely concerned and said he’d heard I haven’t been my usual happy self and that I wasn’t going to the prom. I wanted to kill Molly for telling him, but he told me Lauren had been the one to inform him. I just told him that there really weren’t any guys that I wanted to go with.
Then someone said, “lets go see the monkeys.” I don’t know why but I thought they were talking about The Monkees music group, and I said to Josh, “I love The Monkees! My mom took me to see them once.” And then I started talking about their songs! Molly looked like she was going to pound her head against a wall, and informed me that they were talking about animals – not musicians. Josh laughed and put his arm around me and said, “Don’t worry. Next time they tour I’ll take you to see them.”
We walked around some more and Nancy was trying to get Josh’s attention, Molly was egging me on, and I was sulking. Finally Josh walked over and said, “My mom is taking a bunch of people over to the Empire State Building. If we hurry we can still make it.” I guess he noticed how much I didn’t want to be at the zoo! I hesitated for a minute because of our friends and he said, “This is your chance to see all of New York! Come on, Nicole.”
The next thing I knew the two of us were saying rushed good-byes and running to meet up with the group heading to the Empire State Building. We got to the south end of the park and saw that the bus was waiting for us. Mrs. Anderson waved us on and we got on the bus and headed down to the Empire State Building.
Against her better judgment Mrs. Anderson let Josh use one of the choir’s free passes into the building. The line to get to the top was long but Kim and Kevin were there so we talked to them the whole time. Josh and Kevin seemed to hit it off and Kim whispered to me, “Are you going to ask him?” I shook my head and she was like, “I think he’s into you. I think he’d say yes. And I heard Nancy was going to ask him. You should do it before she does.”
I thought about it the whole time we stood in line. Something about the idea of Nancy going with him was motivating me to get up the courage to ask him myself.
When we got on the elevator Josh warned me that visability probably wasn’t that great because of the weather, but at least we weren’t walking around a zoo. It struck me as funny and made me feel more relaxed.
When we got to the top I was in awe. I couldn’t believe I had finally made it to the Empire State Building! Josh took me around to every side of the building and pointed out the big attractions to me. He promised to bring me back again when the sky was clearer so that I could see more.
I was so nice to spend time with him without everyone else around, and I felt so comfortable. He was showing me the Chrysler Building and without thinking I blurted out, “Would you go to the prom with me?” When I realized what I said I thought I was going to fall right over but he just smiled and said, “Sure.” SURE!!!!!!!!! As in YES!
Needless to say the rest of the day was amazing! After the Empire State Building the Anderson’s took the group to F.A.O. Schwartz. I bought tons of candy for that night and then it was back to the hotel.
Josh and I met up with our friends and invited them to join us for dinner at the hotel restaurant with him parents. Molly knew something was up with me and grinned when Josh told everyone that we were going to the prom together.
(Poor Lauren, she thought that Josh going to the prom would mean that she would be allowed to go to Molly’s beach house afterwards but Mrs. Anderson still said no. Lauren wasn’t too happy.)
After dinner Josh and I said good-bye and he said he’d call me to figure out the details. Molly and I spent the rest of the night eating candy and celebrating. I think she was more happy than I was!
FRIDAY
We left school early morning on four buses to New York. We ate lunch at South Street Seaport and walked around there for a little while. I got some great pictures of the Brooklyn Bridge.
Molly was bugging me about the prom again and I started to consider asking Rob. I knew he’d be a safe date and then it would finally shut everyone up once and for all. I knew it wasn’t want Molly would have wanted but I was beginning to think it was a good idea.
After South Street Seaport we were supposed to go to the Natural History Museum, but the weather forecast for Saturday was so miserable that the chaperones had switched the museum to Saturday so that we could do our city tour on Friday while the weather was nice. We got on some city tour buses. It was awesome. The buses took us everywhere! We drove through Chinatown, Little Italy, past NYU (my heart was pounding just knowing that Josh was close by!), up Broadway and around Midtown. We saw the Empire State Building, Madison Square Garden, Rockefeller Center, the stores on Fifth Avenue, Central Park, the Met, Harlem, Columbia and then back to our hotel. It was really cool and it took all day.
We got to the hotel real late in the afternoon. It took over and hour to get us all to our assigned rooms. I was rooming with Molly and two girls that she’s friends with: Rhonda and Kim. I kind of wished that we were with Lindsay and Jen but we picked roommates in the beginning of the year and Molly didn’t get along with Jen as well back then.
We had an hour before our rehearsal/meeting so I went down to the gift shop to look for some postcards. I wanted to send one to Natalie so she’d see I finally made it to New York.
I was looking at the postcards when Josh walked up to me! He gave me a big hug and all the chemistry and sparks that are missing with Rob were there. And when he hugs me, he always holds on a few seconds longer than people usually do when the hug you. He was there to see his mom so I offered to walk him up to her room. She was right across the hall from my room.
So we get in the elevator and Rich and Paul were getting on with us. They’re seniors and were kind of friendly with Josh last year so they said hello, and then Rich turns to me and says, “Hey, Nicole, don’t forget – you have to keep the door open if you have boys in your room.”
Josh was like, “Boys?” I told him they were talking about him and then told Rich that Josh was there to visit his mother. Rich was like “Sure…” So Josh asked him what exactly he was getting at and Rich said something to the effect of, “if I had someone like Nicole hanging out with me, I wouldn’t be here to visit my mom.” Then the doors opened and we all got off the elevator. Josh just rolled his eyes at them.
I walked him to his mother’s room and said good-bye, but for some reason I turned around and said “Josh.” He turned and looked at me and I didn’t know what I had intended to say so I told him to never mind and ran into my room.
About twenty minutes later Alex, Lindsay, Rob and Kim’s boyfriend, Kevin were in our room hanging out and Josh showed up again. He hung out with us for about a half hour and then it was time for us to go down to dinner.
He walked down with us and I walked him to the door. He gave me a big hug and then pulled back and looked at me. He asked if everything was okay because it seemed like I wanted to say something to him. I did. I wanted to talk to him about the prom, but I couldn’t ask him so I denied it. I noticed he was still holding on to me and I didn’t want to let go. I kept looking into those eyes of his and thinking how close he was. I practically had to pull myself away from him to get to dinner. Standing there, so close to him, was all I could think about the rest of the night.
SATURDAY
We woke up early and it was raining. We went to our adjudication and I kept thinking about Josh. I knew I couldn’t go to the prom with Rob when my heart wanted to be with Josh so badly. I knew that if I went with Rob I’d spend the whole night wondering what it would have been like if I had just found the courage to ask Josh. I’d spend the whole night wishing I were with him.
After adjudication we went to the American Museum of Natural History. It’s not really my thing. I’m not into museums and I would have preferred to spend the day walking around the city and getting a feel for it, but I do have to admit that the museum was a good rainy day activity. And it was pouring out so it was good to be inside.
As we were walking around I somehow ended up alone with Rob. He seemed kind of nervous and I thought, “Oh no! He’s going to ask me to the prom.” But he said, “Nicole, I know Lindsay wants us to go to the prom together but I can’t go with you.” I just looked at him. I wasn’t sure what to say. I think I just mumbled “okay.”
He smiled and told me that it wasn’t about me and that he thinks I’m a great girl, but he saw me with Josh at the door the night before. He said something like, “I saw the way you looked at him, and the way he looked at you. You have to go with him.” He said that I would regret it if I didn’t ask Josh. I knew he was right, but the idea of being shot down was still too much to handle.
That night we had the awards ceremony. The concert choir only got a silver but all of the select groups got gold medals. The evening was fun. We ate dinner and danced. I danced with Rob, Alex and Tom, and I realized that Rob was right. The whole night I wished Josh was there to dance with me. I knew the prom would be even harder.
SUNDAY
The weather on Sunday wasn’t great but at least it wasn’t pouring. We sang in the park that morning. I kept looking around the crowd for Josh. I must have been annoying Molly because she pointed to him and was like “He’s here already!”
After we sang we had a bunch of different options of sites we could see. We decided to go to the Central Park Zoo first. I wasn’t really happy about that. I wanted to see the city but my friends wanted to go to the zoo. And of course, Ms. Nancy had to go to the zoo so that she could follow Josh around.
I was kind of sticking to myself and sulking a little. I wanted to go to city attractions and I was mad at myself for not ditching my friends and doing what I wanted to do. I was also annoyed that Nancy was hanging all over Josh.
Molly started in on me again. “Do you want him to end up going with her?” Molly kept saying it over and over and I was getting really upset.
Josh noticed I was keeping to myself so he dropped back to walk with me. He looked genuinely concerned and said he’d heard I haven’t been my usual happy self and that I wasn’t going to the prom. I wanted to kill Molly for telling him, but he told me Lauren had been the one to inform him. I just told him that there really weren’t any guys that I wanted to go with.
Then someone said, “lets go see the monkeys.” I don’t know why but I thought they were talking about The Monkees music group, and I said to Josh, “I love The Monkees! My mom took me to see them once.” And then I started talking about their songs! Molly looked like she was going to pound her head against a wall, and informed me that they were talking about animals – not musicians. Josh laughed and put his arm around me and said, “Don’t worry. Next time they tour I’ll take you to see them.”
We walked around some more and Nancy was trying to get Josh’s attention, Molly was egging me on, and I was sulking. Finally Josh walked over and said, “My mom is taking a bunch of people over to the Empire State Building. If we hurry we can still make it.” I guess he noticed how much I didn’t want to be at the zoo! I hesitated for a minute because of our friends and he said, “This is your chance to see all of New York! Come on, Nicole.”
The next thing I knew the two of us were saying rushed good-byes and running to meet up with the group heading to the Empire State Building. We got to the south end of the park and saw that the bus was waiting for us. Mrs. Anderson waved us on and we got on the bus and headed down to the Empire State Building.
Against her better judgment Mrs. Anderson let Josh use one of the choir’s free passes into the building. The line to get to the top was long but Kim and Kevin were there so we talked to them the whole time. Josh and Kevin seemed to hit it off and Kim whispered to me, “Are you going to ask him?” I shook my head and she was like, “I think he’s into you. I think he’d say yes. And I heard Nancy was going to ask him. You should do it before she does.”
I thought about it the whole time we stood in line. Something about the idea of Nancy going with him was motivating me to get up the courage to ask him myself.
When we got on the elevator Josh warned me that visability probably wasn’t that great because of the weather, but at least we weren’t walking around a zoo. It struck me as funny and made me feel more relaxed.
When we got to the top I was in awe. I couldn’t believe I had finally made it to the Empire State Building! Josh took me around to every side of the building and pointed out the big attractions to me. He promised to bring me back again when the sky was clearer so that I could see more.
I was so nice to spend time with him without everyone else around, and I felt so comfortable. He was showing me the Chrysler Building and without thinking I blurted out, “Would you go to the prom with me?” When I realized what I said I thought I was going to fall right over but he just smiled and said, “Sure.” SURE!!!!!!!!! As in YES!
Needless to say the rest of the day was amazing! After the Empire State Building the Anderson’s took the group to F.A.O. Schwartz. I bought tons of candy for that night and then it was back to the hotel.
Josh and I met up with our friends and invited them to join us for dinner at the hotel restaurant with him parents. Molly knew something was up with me and grinned when Josh told everyone that we were going to the prom together.
(Poor Lauren, she thought that Josh going to the prom would mean that she would be allowed to go to Molly’s beach house afterwards but Mrs. Anderson still said no. Lauren wasn’t too happy.)
After dinner Josh and I said good-bye and he said he’d call me to figure out the details. Molly and I spent the rest of the night eating candy and celebrating. I think she was more happy than I was!
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