The weekend was fabulous... Josh and I finally had a heart to heart talk Friday night and a lot of my questions were answered without even having to ask.

We went out to dinner with the gang...Kelly, Jason, Molly, Alex, Lindsay, Rob and Tom. Jennifer and Terry were going to meet up with us at the movies but everything we wanted to see was sold out and we couldn't come to an agreement so Kelly invited us all back to her house.

Her house is enormous. It puts Natalie's house to shame. She has a hot tub outside so we were all in and out of it - except Lindsay and Tom who were hanging out inside. It was fun but the water was getting too hot for me and I know it's not good to stay in the hot tub for too long so I got out and went inside to hang with Lindsay and Tom.

Josh followed me inside and the four of us were talking. Tom was trying to teach Lindsay how to play the guitar and I mentioned that I wanted to learn the piano. So Josh told me he could help me out with that. I feel bad because he practically taught me to drive so I told him I'd feel like I was taking advantage of him. He said it was okay as long as I taught him a few dance moves.

Lindsay kind of jumped on that idea and said she and Tom could use some new moves. To Tom's chagrin, Lindsay had pulled him off the bar stool he was sitting on and was ready for a dance lesson.

We went into the living room and put on the radio and I taught them the basic steps to the Rhumba and the Fox Trot. Tom and Lindsay lost interest pretty fast and headed outside but Josh pulled me close to him for a slow dance. I just let myself go and sink into his arms. It felt so good being close to him.

The song "I Only Have Eyes For You" came on and I told him it reminded me of him because it was playing at the 50's restaurant that we went to after Lauren's birthday last year. He just smiled at me and moved close and I thought for a second that he was going to kiss me but he pulled back and said, "I can't kiss you tonight. I can't do that to you again."

I asked him what he was talking about and then things just started to come out. He said he couldn't kiss me again and then leave for New York the next morning. He knew that he had left me without explanation when he moved and he wasn't going to do it again.

After his uncle died it made him think of all of the lost potential and unfulfilled dreams - it made him want to live out his dreams...especially the one to live in New York. He told me after he got there he realized what an idiot he had been to push me away. He had planned to come home and try to convince me that we could still make things work. He had a whole romantic night planned out for us BUT Nancy called him the Thursday night before he was going to come home and told him that I was dating Tom!

When he told me this I was furious. I mean, think of all of the heartache I've been needlessly dealing with for months! All because of that - you know what! GRRRRRRR....

Anyway, he went on to say that he was sorry for all of the confusion, but he didn't want to start something and then have to rush back to New York. He said he'd rather wait and take things slowly so that there's no more confusion or hurt for either of us. I understood where he was coming from even though I really wanted him to kiss me.

Lindsay came back in then and told us they wanted to order a pizza. That was the end of the conversation until we got home later that night. As we said good night he pulled me close to him and said, "Next weekend you're all mine." And then he kissed my cheek and said, "I'll see you then."