The weekend turned out to be a lot of fun after all. Friday night was Girl's Night. Molly, Nat, Amanda, Kelly and I went out on the town. We actually had a really great night. Molly and Nat were pleasant to one another and everyone seemed happy.

Saturday I stopped rehearsal a little early to go up to New York. Josh was supposed to come down to visit me but there was a Halloween party up there so I went up. I was reluctant about losing rehearsal time but in the end it was worth it. This was the first time in a long time that Josh and I felt like Josh and I. There were no fights, no awkwardness. It was just a fun weekend.

I feel so much better now. Things seem better between Mol and Nat, and things are definitely better between me and Josh.

Molly and I went to Starbucks last night to talk. I was complaining that Josh doesn't care about my feelings (because of our fight over Laura) and Molly said something like, "well, for someone who doesn't care about your feelings, he's sure looking out for you." I asked her what she was talking about and she told me that he called her on Monday. He told her that she and Natalie were putting me in a really awkward position and that the two of them need to stop fighting. Molly apologized for being such a jerk. I was shocked...shocked at Josh for saying something and shocked that Molly acknowledged that it's been really hard for me to be stuck in the middle of my two best friends.

So that was interesting. When I got home I watched "Dancing With the Stars" and saw that they did a cha cha to "Billie Jean." It wasn't as great the the cha cha that Alex and I did, but I enjoyed it. I haven't been watching as closely as I would have liked. My life is just so busy right now that I don't have much time for TV, but I try to catch it whenever I can. I learn a lot by watching others.

I have another jam-packed, yet uneventful weekend planned. Mostly dance rehearsals. Josh is supposed to come down on Saturday, but since things are still weird between us I don't know what's going to happen. I guess I should give him a call and find out.

That's all for now...NB

So Josh finally called last night. I know I could have called him but I was being stubborn and I felt like I deserved an apology. That’s not exactly what I got. He was basically like, “I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree.” I know he wants to make up but he didn’t apologize and I deserve that. Nothing has pointed towards Jordan having feelings for me, and yet, all signs point to Laura being after Josh. She even told Jennifer that it’s okay to go after another girl’s boyfriend. I’m getting angry all over again.

Josh and I aren’t seeing eye to eye on this at all and it’s really disappointing. I thought he was supposed to be on my side, but instead he’s defending Laura! And then throwing out these wild accusations about Jordan.

What am I supposed to do? Should I forget my love of dancing because Josh feels threatened by my dance partner? It doesn’t seem right. Jordan is nothing but professional. He has never once suggested anything that would lead me to believe he wants more than a dancing relationship. I think Josh is grasping at straws because he doesn’t want to be wrong. I just don’t know how to handle it.

I had a frustrating weekend. Well, Saturday night and Sunday... I went up to the city on Saturday to see Josh. His friends were playing so we went to hear them. Keith, Jen and Laura were all there and Laura kept hanging around Josh the whole night. She was giggly and flushed around him like on the camping trip. I don't like it.

Then Jennifer, Laura and I were talking about Jen's crush - a guy who has a girlfriend - and Laura was encouraging her to try to break them up! I was furious. I can't believe she thinks it's okay to break up a relationship! Is that her plan for me and Josh?

So I told Josh that I wasn't happy about this girl's attitude and we got into a huge fight. We were outside of the dorm, in the freezing cold, in the middle of the night arguing. It was not good.

He thinks I don't spend enough time with him. He doesn't like that I spend so much time with Jordan. I tried to explain that it's not about Jordan - it's about dancing but Josh doesn't get it. I told him that Jordan and I are dance partners - that's it. His response was that he and Laura are just friends - that's it.

We finally went to sleep around 3 a.m. but I was still angry and the fight just continued on Sunday morning. I finally decided that I wasn't going to keep going over it so I came home. We haven't spoken since, and I don't feel like I owe him any apology or anything else. I saw first hand the way that girl operates and instead of talking to me about it, he turns the whole thing around and makes it about Jordan - a guy who has shown no interest in me whatsoever! Grrr... I am so mad right now. He better call soon and apologize or I am so done with him. Grrrrr!!!!!!!!!

Last night was just what I needed. Dinner with Aunt Lu, got my school work done, watched "Dancing With The Stars" and talked to Josh on the phone for a while. He apologized for giving me a hard time about all my rehearsing. I'm going to go up to New York Saturday night to spend some time with him. I figure that will give me time to rehearse during the day on Saturday and Amanda invited me to go out with her and some of her friends Friday night.

Now if only I could get Molly and Natalie to straighten out. It's time to put all of this nonsense to rest and start acting like civilized people. I'm tired of the bickering. It's wearing on me and it's upsetting Amanda too. I feel bad for her more than anyone else because she's basically and outsider who got trapped with me and my two best friends. Why can't we all get along?

Well, I need to get moving. I have to get back to New Jersey in time for my afternoon classes.

I'm feeling pulled in so many different directions right now. Everyone wants a piece of my time and I just don't have it to give. I am so busy rehearsing and trying to do a good job in my classes that I just don't have any time to spare. Molly and Natalie give me a hard time and now Josh is unhappy with me too. It's so disappointing. I thought Josh of all people would understand why I need to dedicate myself to my craft. He spends hours a day with his piano!

I'm so frustrated. All of these people in my life not getting along and not supporting me is just becoming too much. I'm tired of everyone fighting. I'm actually going home to Pennsylvania for the night because I need to get away for a little while. I'm just going to hide out there until tomorrow morning. I can study and get away from all the drama. Maybe I'll even squeeze in tonight's episode of "Dancing With The Stars."

Well, I should log off. I want to stop at the library before heading back to PA.

I know...I've been a slacker about posting but I've been rehearsing non-stop. It's taking up so much of my time. The good news is that all the hard work paid off. We're going to be competing! I'm so excited. I think Jordan was a little surprised that I pulled it off. I think he thought I was just some amateur that he'd work with on his way to bigger and better things. Well, now he's stuck with me - at least for this competition.

I've spent so much time rehearsing that I haven't seen most of my friends. Kind of a good thing since Molly and Natalie are still driving me a little crazy. I rarely see Nat. She's always out, but when she's around she's complaining about Molly. I see Mol a lot more but she's always complaining about Natalie. It's such stupid stuff. It drives me nuts because if they could get over the jealousy thing they would probably be great friends. Arrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!!!

Camping was...hmm, interesting? We found out that Lauren and Terry are no longer dating. I think that made Jen feel better about things. I got to hang out with Alex. He told me that he thinks he's going to break up with Alicia. It's a shame but I kind of saw it coming. He goes to school in Connecticut now. His family no longer lives in or near PA so he doesn't go back there. There's just nothing holding them together any more.

I got to spend some time with Josh which was nice. I think Jen's roommate, Laura, has a crush on him. I got up early that Saturday morning and Josh and Laura were outside getting breakfast ready. I don't know what they were talking about but they were laughing and Laura touched his arm playfully. Something about it sent up a red flag. Plus she was all flushed and giggly when she was around him. I don't like it. I don't think he'd dump me for her, but I don't like it.

Well that's what's going on with me. Gotta run and do some homework. After all, that is why I'm in college, right? More later - NB.