Rehearsals have been hectic and I'm exhausted. I'm anxious to for Josh to get back. He was going to be home this weekend but now it's going to be at least another week before he comes home.

I'm a little worried. Eric has been so sweet and kind of touchy and now it's making me wonder if there is something there. I need Josh here to ground me. And ironically our Jive is to "Jimmy Mac." It's a song about girl missing her boyfriend who's away and there's another guy hanging around who is sweet and tempting. There's this one line that keeps ringing true for me: "This loneliness that I have within keeps reaching out to be his friend." Argggg...this really is the last thing I need.

I am not going to pick Eric over Josh, but I don't even like having a mild attraction to anyone else. Josh is the man for me - and I am a one man woman. I just want him home so that I can look into those blue eyes of his and feel his arms wrapped around me.

I keep thinking about last summer and how amazing it was to fall in love with him all over again. This summer has been so boring and dull. Maybe I'm looking for excitement. I don't know...but whatever it is, it has to end. I am not going to allow myself to become interested in Eric. I don't even like that I've written about this. :(