Natalie won the dance competition! I am so proud of her - she was amazing!!!! It was a crazy, hectic night but so much fun.

Josh and I have been busy packing and getting ready for the move to Nashville. My mother is still freaking out at me about it, but she can't really do anything at this point. I haven't told my father yet. He left me a message earlier today asking me to call him though, so I suspect my mother contacted him to talk me out of it. I'll call him back later. I just can't deal with them ganging up on me right now. I will not let them talk me out of this. The decision has been made and I'm sticking to it!

I can't believe how busy this week has been! I'm not even competing in the competition anymore and I'm swamped. I spent the end of last week working with Eric on our dance for tomorrow. Then I spent the weekend working with Josh on our dance for tomorrow. Last night we had rehearsals for our group performance. It's been crazy.

I broke the news to my mom and Aunt Lu (haven't told my dad yet) about moving to Nashville. My mom freaked, which was to be expected. Aunt Lu was more reserved about her disapproval. She just said that she doesn't believe in "co-habitation before marriage." I can tell that Mrs. Anderson isn't too pleased either. Oh well, I figure it's my life and it's Josh's life and we're going to do what we want. Of course, my father could decide to cut me off, in which case I'm screwed. I'm just hoping that our renewed relationship will prevent him from taking a chance that things could go bad again.

Well, I have to meet up with Natalie and JD. They are competing for the prize tomorrow night and I promised Nat that I would stop by their rehearsal to give her tips. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her. She wants this so badly!!!

Eric and I got voted out of the competition last night. :(

It was the semi-finals so I was proud that we had gotten that far but I was hoping to get to the finale and do a free-style. Eric never really had a chance to show off his gymnastics moves.

Next week we do a group number and each of the voted off couples get to do a quick dance. I'm also doing a dance with Josh. Mona asked us to do our dance to "Can't Fight the Moonlight" from last year. She thinks it's nice to have last year's winner back again. Looks like I have a busy week ahead.

I still haven't broken the news to my mom or Aunt Lu about moving to Tennessee. I'm so nervous that I keep putting it off. I haven't been a complete slacker though. I went to school today to talk to my adviser. She said it's going to be difficult to transfer this late. She suggested that I take some distance learning classes this semester. That with the summer classes I took this year will keep me on track until I start at a new school. So that's the plan for now! The only thing left to do is get up the nerve to tell my mom and Aunt Lu!

I've decided to do it. I am going to Nashville with Josh. I told him so last night. Now I just have to tell my parents and Aunt Lu. I'm not sure how they are going to respond.

I just know that I don't want to be without him. I spent so much time trying to talk myself out of it, but when it comes down to it, I love him and I want to be where he is. We have spent too much time separated by miles. I don't want to do it anymore. It will be an adjustment but it will be worth it.

Eric and I are taking a break this afternoon from rehearsals. He had to go into work to get his classroom ready for the fall. This week we're dancing the Rhumba to "Me and Mrs. Jones" and the Tango to "La Cumparsita." Both dances are coming along really well so I'm not too worried about taking a few hours off. I'm going to use the day to talk to my adviser at school and see what I need to do to transfer to one of the schools in Tennessee.

Tonight is the night of our Cha Cha! We've gotten more focused and I'm convinced it's going to be great. After rehearsals on Monday, Eric and I watched the Olympics. He wanted to see the men's gymnastics team. It was so cool to watch it with him because he explained things to me. We were really bummed that they let the silver metal slip away at the end. :( I have a new crush on Raj Bhavsar from the gymnastics team. He's so cute!

Anyway, on to real life loves...Josh was asked to move to Nashville to work on future projects! This is huge for him. This could be the beginning of something really big! He asked me to go with him and transfer to a college down there. I'm thinking about it.

I want to be where he is, but I don't really believe in living together before marriage. I don't know...it's not a religious thing, it's just something I feel. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to lose him, but I'm not sure if moving to Nashville is the best thing for me. Besides, my parents and Aunt Lu will flip if I move in with Josh. So much to think about! I guess that's why I like the dancing distraction right now.

Things have been weird the past few days. Josh wants me to spend time with him - and I want to spend time with him - but I have to make sure that Eric is prepared for this week. Eric is also grouchy because he thinks I'm not focused enough since Josh is back. I feel like I'm being pulled in opposite directions.

Josh's uncle asked him to work at the swim club to fill in for lifeguards that are leaving for college. I'm kind of jealous. It just feels weird that he's there without me. It's our place...our summer place...and this summer has felt really strange to me.

I'm also worried about my father. I talked to him yesterday and he said he hasn't been feeling that great. My grandparents are going back to Florida to stay with him again. I feel so bad...like I should be there.

Well, that's all for now. I'm meeting Josh for a quick dinner and then it's back to rehearsals with Eric.

Wednesday night was awesome. I was hanging out backstage waiting for the show to start when Mona walked over to me and handed me a bouquet of flowers. At first I thought they were from Aunt Lu, but then I saw the card and realized they were from Josh - and the best part is that he was there!!!!

The competition suddenly felt so long. I just wanted it to be over so that I could see him. I mean, I could see him from the stage, but I really wanted to see him for real.

Our Fox Trot wasn't that great. I wasn't concentrating enough because I was thinking about Josh and Eric was just off. The judges hammered us and I was a little worried that we might get sent home, but the audience saved us. We got the second most audience votes! It was amazing since we were having such a hard time getting votes from them in the past weeks.

After the competition Josh and I went back to New Jersey with Natalie. Thursday is my day off from rehearsals so Josh and I drove over to the beach for the day. It was so nice to just relax and hang out with him. I am so glad he's home!

This afternoon will be another long afternoon of rehearsals. This week we're dancing the Cha Cha to Michael Buble's "Sway." I love that song - one of my favorite Cha Cha's so I'm excited! We're also doing a group Samba this week to Gloria Estefan's "You'll Be Mine." We don't rehearse that until tomorrow. I hope Eric can handle two dances. He seemed really discouraged on Wednesday night.

Tonight is performance night and I'm nervous. For some reason Eric isn't clicking with the audience. I don't know what to do about it. Plus, I was upset last night because I haven't heard much from Josh over the past few days. Instead of rehearsing I wasted an hour venting to Eric about how this long distance thing - temporary as it is - is driving me crazy. It was so unprofessional and a complete waste of time. Not to mention it makes Josh look bad in Eric's eyes and I don't want to do that.

I'm just frustrated. I want Josh to come home. I miss him, and his absence is starting to put a real strain on our relationship. We are both super busy so we hardly ever talk, and when we do it's a quick phone call. I feel like we were better connected when he was in England. I just keep reminding myself that he'll be back soon.

Now I have to focus on the competition. Eric and I are meeting after lunch to go over some final things for tonight. I'm really hoping that this routine helps to show off his personality and get the audience excited about him.

This week we're doing the Fox Trot. Eric and I are dancing to "Am I Blue." It's ironic because this song rings true for me too. Not that Josh and I are breaking up or anything but I feel like our plans for August are falling through and there's one line that goes, "Am I blue? You'd be too if each plan with your man just fell through."

I'm not sure when he's going to be back now. It was supposed to be this weekend and then it got postponed to some time next week and now he thinks he might be the following week. I just wish he'd get back so we can have some of our summer together!

Rehearsals are going well. Eric really is a natural. He picks things up so quickly. He gets the steps down fast so we can focus more on technique. It really helps set us apart from the rest. The judges love Eric, but the crowd isn't as enthusiastic about him as I'd hoped. Last year the women rallied around Josh. They had this weird love affair with him and were dedicated to showing up and voting for him. I don't get the same feeling from the audience this year. They can make or break us. I just hope they make us.