Things have been weird the past few days. Josh wants me to spend time with him - and I want to spend time with him - but I have to make sure that Eric is prepared for this week. Eric is also grouchy because he thinks I'm not focused enough since Josh is back. I feel like I'm being pulled in opposite directions.

Josh's uncle asked him to work at the swim club to fill in for lifeguards that are leaving for college. I'm kind of jealous. It just feels weird that he's there without me. It's our place...our summer place...and this summer has felt really strange to me.

I'm also worried about my father. I talked to him yesterday and he said he hasn't been feeling that great. My grandparents are going back to Florida to stay with him again. I feel so bad...like I should be there.

Well, that's all for now. I'm meeting Josh for a quick dinner and then it's back to rehearsals with Eric.