Today was a half day for the junior and seniors, and the few freshmen and sophomores who are going to the prom. Lindsay, Jennifer and I went to Wendy's for lunch and now I'm home and about to get ready for tonight. It should be an interesting evening.
Alex and I were talking about our choir projects this morning in social studies, and I made the mistake of telling him that I had tossed around the idea of singing. Now he's driving me crazy because he wants me to sing. Yicks!
Well, I should get to fixing myself up for tonight. I'll check in tonight or tomorrow to give you the scoop on the evening.
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Friday, April 30, 2004
Thursday, April 29, 2004
Man, I'm bummed that John Stevens got kicked off American Idol last night. I liked him. I also liked JPL. So now my favorites are gone...I still have George though! :)
I went to the library at lunch today and my geometry teacher walked over to me. He told me that he was really proud of how hard I was working. He told me to keep it up. He said that most people give up one step short of success and he knows that I can grasp the material if I keep on working at it. Then he went on about how Thomas Edison was kicked out of school because they thought he was dumb, but he turned out to be one of the greatest inventors in history. He said he thinks I'll be surprised how easily it will come once I pass that first hurdle. It's nice that he has so much faith in me. It makes me want to work harder so I don't disappoint him.
Alex told me that we're going to go out on Saturday. He's a sophomore (like me) so he's not going to the prom, and I'm not going to the prom weekend parties. We figured we'd keep each other company. I'm not complaining. I'd much rather hang out with Alex than spend the weekend with Jennifer.
Lauren came over after school today. We baked chocolate chip cookies. It was fun. I love her. She's the coolest 14-year-old I know. She told me that Josh was disappointed that Jennifer didn't want to go to Molly's beach house for the weekend. He's going to hang out with Jennifer until Saturday afternoon and then he's going to Molly's. I don't know why but this made me happy.
Tomorrow's the prom, and I've decided that Dave really isn't a bad guy. I wasn't thrilled about going with him at first, but he's been really cool. I know he's still dealing with breaking up with his girlfriend, so I don't have to worry about him making any moves on me. Actually, I'm not even sure he would. He seems like he has really good manners. I think I'll have fun with him. I'm just looking forward to this thing being over so that I don't have to hear or think about it any more.
I really need to spend some time thinking about my choir project. I still have no idea what I'm going to do. We either have to do a performance or write a paper. I'd love to sing, but I don't think I'm that brave. Guess I'm gonna have to write a paper.
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I went to the library at lunch today and my geometry teacher walked over to me. He told me that he was really proud of how hard I was working. He told me to keep it up. He said that most people give up one step short of success and he knows that I can grasp the material if I keep on working at it. Then he went on about how Thomas Edison was kicked out of school because they thought he was dumb, but he turned out to be one of the greatest inventors in history. He said he thinks I'll be surprised how easily it will come once I pass that first hurdle. It's nice that he has so much faith in me. It makes me want to work harder so I don't disappoint him.
Alex told me that we're going to go out on Saturday. He's a sophomore (like me) so he's not going to the prom, and I'm not going to the prom weekend parties. We figured we'd keep each other company. I'm not complaining. I'd much rather hang out with Alex than spend the weekend with Jennifer.
Lauren came over after school today. We baked chocolate chip cookies. It was fun. I love her. She's the coolest 14-year-old I know. She told me that Josh was disappointed that Jennifer didn't want to go to Molly's beach house for the weekend. He's going to hang out with Jennifer until Saturday afternoon and then he's going to Molly's. I don't know why but this made me happy.
Tomorrow's the prom, and I've decided that Dave really isn't a bad guy. I wasn't thrilled about going with him at first, but he's been really cool. I know he's still dealing with breaking up with his girlfriend, so I don't have to worry about him making any moves on me. Actually, I'm not even sure he would. He seems like he has really good manners. I think I'll have fun with him. I'm just looking forward to this thing being over so that I don't have to hear or think about it any more.
I really need to spend some time thinking about my choir project. I still have no idea what I'm going to do. We either have to do a performance or write a paper. I'd love to sing, but I don't think I'm that brave. Guess I'm gonna have to write a paper.
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Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Did you ever have a problem, or feel a certain way, and you didn't want to admit it to yourself? That's what I'm dealing with right now. I feel like if I say it out loud, write it down or allow it to be more than a fleeting thought, then it will become more real. I'm just not ready yet for it to become more real, because then I'll have to deal with it.
Okay, so while I'm being all philosophical, how about this one...Did you ever wish you could go back in time and not experience something that was really great, because now you have to live without it, and you'd rather not know what it was like to have it? Does that make sense?
I guess I'm just feeling frustrated today. Last night I was feeling kind of sad so I went outside to look up at the stars. I used to go outside in Florida when my father was drunk or my parents were fighting and look up at the stars. It was my way of getting away from things.
So last night I was sitting out back looking up at the sky and Josh walked out his back door to take out the trash and I guess he saw me because he walked over. He asked me why I was sitting outside in the dark. He probably thinks I'm a weirdo, but I told him that I like to look at the stars. It helps me think and relax.
We talked for about a half hour. It was so nice, but then I realized that I'm supposed to be backing off from him, and sitting alone in the dark could definitely be misconstrued if Jennifer or Lindsay found out, so I told him I had to finish up some homework.
Why can't I find someone else in this freakin' town that I click with the way I do with Josh?
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Okay, so while I'm being all philosophical, how about this one...Did you ever wish you could go back in time and not experience something that was really great, because now you have to live without it, and you'd rather not know what it was like to have it? Does that make sense?
I guess I'm just feeling frustrated today. Last night I was feeling kind of sad so I went outside to look up at the stars. I used to go outside in Florida when my father was drunk or my parents were fighting and look up at the stars. It was my way of getting away from things.
So last night I was sitting out back looking up at the sky and Josh walked out his back door to take out the trash and I guess he saw me because he walked over. He asked me why I was sitting outside in the dark. He probably thinks I'm a weirdo, but I told him that I like to look at the stars. It helps me think and relax.
We talked for about a half hour. It was so nice, but then I realized that I'm supposed to be backing off from him, and sitting alone in the dark could definitely be misconstrued if Jennifer or Lindsay found out, so I told him I had to finish up some homework.
Why can't I find someone else in this freakin' town that I click with the way I do with Josh?
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Tuesday, April 27, 2004
I found this website that's really cool. It lets you look up the meaning of your name. I can't believe how accurate it is. Is says, "Peaceful and settled conditions appeal to you and you are naturally desirous of having the security of a home, where your life could follow a definite pattern." Boy, isn't that true? I do feel like my home with Aunt Lucinda is more stable than with my parents. I know she's not going to come stumbling in the door drunk. I'm just scared that once I get settled here my mom will decide that I have to move back to Florida.
It also said, "You find it difficult to take a definite stand, partly because you lack confidence, and also because you dislike any issues which create dissension between people." I never thought of my self as lacking confidence until I moved here. I was always part of the popular crowd back in Florida. Here, I'm nothing. Lindsay's cousin at best. I wish I had the same footing as I did back home. I'd tell Jennifer to shove it and not let her push me around. I'd be friends with who ever I wanted to be friends with.
I found it funny that it said, "Your inherent qualities are practical, technical, mathematical, scientific, and analytical." Practical, technical and analytical: YES. Mathematical and scientific? NO!
The webpage is interesting but I guess you have to take it with a grain of salt.
Nothing too eventful going on. Choir practice was kind of annoying. Watching Jennifer throw herself at Josh drove me crazy. He didn't seem to pay much attention to her though. Molly sat next to me last night and kept talking to me. It was kind of weird since she never talks to me.
Today I had lunch with Dave to discuss our plans for the prom. We'll be sitting at the same table as Lindsay, James, Jennifer and Josh. After the prom I'm going home. This is one of those times that I'm happy Aunt Lucinda is so strict. I'm not really up for partying all weekend long with Dave - especially if Jennifer and Josh are going to be there. The thought of watching her throw herself at him grosses me out.
You know, it just occurred to me that maybe I should stop thinking about it so much. It's just making me more angry. I really need to get on with my life. Actually, I need to get a life...
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It also said, "You find it difficult to take a definite stand, partly because you lack confidence, and also because you dislike any issues which create dissension between people." I never thought of my self as lacking confidence until I moved here. I was always part of the popular crowd back in Florida. Here, I'm nothing. Lindsay's cousin at best. I wish I had the same footing as I did back home. I'd tell Jennifer to shove it and not let her push me around. I'd be friends with who ever I wanted to be friends with.
I found it funny that it said, "Your inherent qualities are practical, technical, mathematical, scientific, and analytical." Practical, technical and analytical: YES. Mathematical and scientific? NO!
The webpage is interesting but I guess you have to take it with a grain of salt.
Nothing too eventful going on. Choir practice was kind of annoying. Watching Jennifer throw herself at Josh drove me crazy. He didn't seem to pay much attention to her though. Molly sat next to me last night and kept talking to me. It was kind of weird since she never talks to me.
Today I had lunch with Dave to discuss our plans for the prom. We'll be sitting at the same table as Lindsay, James, Jennifer and Josh. After the prom I'm going home. This is one of those times that I'm happy Aunt Lucinda is so strict. I'm not really up for partying all weekend long with Dave - especially if Jennifer and Josh are going to be there. The thought of watching her throw herself at him grosses me out.
You know, it just occurred to me that maybe I should stop thinking about it so much. It's just making me more angry. I really need to get on with my life. Actually, I need to get a life...
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Monday, April 26, 2004
I got a B- on my geometry test. So much for Yale or Princeton. Actually, I'm relieved. I thought I was going to fail the test so a B- is much better.
I ran into Josh as I was leaving school today. He said that he and some friends were going to go out to dinner before choir practice tonight and asked if I wanted to join them. I can't begin to describe how painful it was to say no. If Jennifer were in my position she'd be bummed out because she was missing an opportunity to hang out with a senior who is Mr. Popularity. But me...well, I'm bummed out because he's not only adorable but also the sweetest, funniest, most talented guy in school. I don't care that he's older and popular. I don't care that he's cute. I just think he has the most incredible way about him and it kills me that I can't be his friend.
Alex told me again that I shouldn't let Jennifer dictate my friendships. I wonder if it's really obvious how disappointed I am that I have to keep my distance from Josh. I mean, is it written all over my face? What does he think when he sees me? I say hi and then brush him off. It's so not cool, especially since he's such a great guy. It breaks my heart to have to walk away from him.
Alex says that if Josh were in my position he would tell Jennifer to take a hike. I know Alex is right. Josh sort of is in my position. Molly hates Jennifer, but Josh told her to butt out and agreed to go to the prom with Jen anyway. Maybe Josh has more character than me. Or maybe Josh has better footing here than I do. I don't know...I just know that I wish I were going to dinner with him tonight.
Okay, no more pity party. I don't want to go to choir practice feeling sad. There is good news...Natalie convinced her parents to let her visit me! Yea!!!! She's flying up here on my last day of school. I'm so excited! I'll finally get to have some fun here in Pennsylvania!
Well, I should finish up my geometry homework before dinner so that I don't have to worry about it after choir practice...
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I ran into Josh as I was leaving school today. He said that he and some friends were going to go out to dinner before choir practice tonight and asked if I wanted to join them. I can't begin to describe how painful it was to say no. If Jennifer were in my position she'd be bummed out because she was missing an opportunity to hang out with a senior who is Mr. Popularity. But me...well, I'm bummed out because he's not only adorable but also the sweetest, funniest, most talented guy in school. I don't care that he's older and popular. I don't care that he's cute. I just think he has the most incredible way about him and it kills me that I can't be his friend.
Alex told me again that I shouldn't let Jennifer dictate my friendships. I wonder if it's really obvious how disappointed I am that I have to keep my distance from Josh. I mean, is it written all over my face? What does he think when he sees me? I say hi and then brush him off. It's so not cool, especially since he's such a great guy. It breaks my heart to have to walk away from him.
Alex says that if Josh were in my position he would tell Jennifer to take a hike. I know Alex is right. Josh sort of is in my position. Molly hates Jennifer, but Josh told her to butt out and agreed to go to the prom with Jen anyway. Maybe Josh has more character than me. Or maybe Josh has better footing here than I do. I don't know...I just know that I wish I were going to dinner with him tonight.
Okay, no more pity party. I don't want to go to choir practice feeling sad. There is good news...Natalie convinced her parents to let her visit me! Yea!!!! She's flying up here on my last day of school. I'm so excited! I'll finally get to have some fun here in Pennsylvania!
Well, I should finish up my geometry homework before dinner so that I don't have to worry about it after choir practice...
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Sunday, April 25, 2004
Back to reality. I have an English test looming. Why is it that as soon as one test is over, there's another one to study for? Luckily, I've got a firm grasp on the material for this test. It's really just math that I have a problem with.
I met with Henry, one of the swim club directors, on Thursday. I'm going to be working there this summer. I'm going to work with the camp in the morning as the drama specialist. We're going to put on a production starring the kids. I'm also going to be working in the snack club, but that schedule is yet to be determined. I'm excited about it. I think it will be a fun summer, and it will earn me enough money to go on vacation in August.
I'm trying to save up to buy a plane ticket to Florida so that I can go on vacation with my best friend, Natalie's family. For the past few years her parents have included me on their vacation, mostly because Nat is an only child, but also because they feel bad that my family is so messed up. Nat's father offered to pay for my plane ticket to Florida so that I could join them again, but I feel that if they're going to pay for my vacation, I should at least pay for my ticket down there.
This weekend was a bore. Friday night I went out with Lindsay and Jennifer. We went to dinner and all I hears about was Jennifer's gloating about her date with Josh. I'm happy for her. I really am. She's had a crush on him for years. I just wish that it didn't preclude me from being friends with him.
On Saturday I went out with Alex. Alex told me that Jennifer was out of line and that I should be friends with Josh anyway. I love Alex. He makes things seem so easy, but I already feel like I'm in a precarious situation. I don't want to rock the boat with Jen and Lindsay.
Alex told me that he and Josh are working together on their end of the year choir project. It kind of surprised me because I never thought of them as friends, but they are two of the best musicians in the choir so I guess it makes sense.
Well the prom is only days away. I am not looking forward to it. I hardly even know my date. I mean, he seems like a nice guy, but it's just another forced connection. I really wish I could meet some people that I naturally click with. Before I moved here, everyone told me it would be easy because I'd have Lindsay and her friends to hang out with, but I actually think it's made things harder, because it's held me back from making friends that I would naturally gravitate towards.
Oh well. What can you do? At least I have Alex. He's a good friend.
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I met with Henry, one of the swim club directors, on Thursday. I'm going to be working there this summer. I'm going to work with the camp in the morning as the drama specialist. We're going to put on a production starring the kids. I'm also going to be working in the snack club, but that schedule is yet to be determined. I'm excited about it. I think it will be a fun summer, and it will earn me enough money to go on vacation in August.
I'm trying to save up to buy a plane ticket to Florida so that I can go on vacation with my best friend, Natalie's family. For the past few years her parents have included me on their vacation, mostly because Nat is an only child, but also because they feel bad that my family is so messed up. Nat's father offered to pay for my plane ticket to Florida so that I could join them again, but I feel that if they're going to pay for my vacation, I should at least pay for my ticket down there.
This weekend was a bore. Friday night I went out with Lindsay and Jennifer. We went to dinner and all I hears about was Jennifer's gloating about her date with Josh. I'm happy for her. I really am. She's had a crush on him for years. I just wish that it didn't preclude me from being friends with him.
On Saturday I went out with Alex. Alex told me that Jennifer was out of line and that I should be friends with Josh anyway. I love Alex. He makes things seem so easy, but I already feel like I'm in a precarious situation. I don't want to rock the boat with Jen and Lindsay.
Alex told me that he and Josh are working together on their end of the year choir project. It kind of surprised me because I never thought of them as friends, but they are two of the best musicians in the choir so I guess it makes sense.
Well the prom is only days away. I am not looking forward to it. I hardly even know my date. I mean, he seems like a nice guy, but it's just another forced connection. I really wish I could meet some people that I naturally click with. Before I moved here, everyone told me it would be easy because I'd have Lindsay and her friends to hang out with, but I actually think it's made things harder, because it's held me back from making friends that I would naturally gravitate towards.
Oh well. What can you do? At least I have Alex. He's a good friend.
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Thursday, April 22, 2004
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
I called home last night so that I could have my mom send up a dress that I wore to my homecoming in Florida last fall. I don't have the money for a new dress for the prom, and I figure that no one here has seen it anyway.
Well, my father gets on the phone with me and starts to give me a hard time about my geometry. He says he has aspirations for me to go to Yale or Princeton. Eye Roll. I have aspirations for him to remain sober. I don't see that happening.
I have been working non-stop on the geometry. I even met with my teacher after school. It was a good review and I'm feeling a little bit better about the test.
The other day - before all of the stuff with Jennifer went down - Josh told me that his uncle owns the local swim club/day camp. I called and set up an interview for a job. It sounds like it would be an amazing summer job. I'm meeting with some guy tomorrow after school.
In other Josh/Jennifer news...There's this girl, Molly, who is a sophomore, but managed to make a place for herself in Josh's group (all of whom are seniors). Well, Miss Molly seems to have a lot of weight - I'm still trying to figure out why, but anyway...She hates Jennifer. Something about an ex-boyfriend that they once shared. I heard she was the reason Josh hadn't asked Jennifer to the dance. But Josh still doesn't have a date...what's he waiting for? Doesn't he know that there are a million girls he could go with?
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Well, my father gets on the phone with me and starts to give me a hard time about my geometry. He says he has aspirations for me to go to Yale or Princeton. Eye Roll. I have aspirations for him to remain sober. I don't see that happening.
I have been working non-stop on the geometry. I even met with my teacher after school. It was a good review and I'm feeling a little bit better about the test.
The other day - before all of the stuff with Jennifer went down - Josh told me that his uncle owns the local swim club/day camp. I called and set up an interview for a job. It sounds like it would be an amazing summer job. I'm meeting with some guy tomorrow after school.
In other Josh/Jennifer news...There's this girl, Molly, who is a sophomore, but managed to make a place for herself in Josh's group (all of whom are seniors). Well, Miss Molly seems to have a lot of weight - I'm still trying to figure out why, but anyway...She hates Jennifer. Something about an ex-boyfriend that they once shared. I heard she was the reason Josh hadn't asked Jennifer to the dance. But Josh still doesn't have a date...what's he waiting for? Doesn't he know that there are a million girls he could go with?
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Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Oops, sorry for not finishing the last post. Josh walked into the library and I didn't want him to come over and see what I was working on. He left without seeing me though.
Two seconds later Lindsay and this Dave football player guy found me. He asked me to the prom. Looks like I'm going.
The guy is super cute. He just broke up with his girlfriend which is why he didn't have a date. He seems nice enough. I'm sure I'll have a good time. I'm just fuming about the way Lindsay and Jennifer acted earlier.
Lindsay said her next fix up was going to be Josh and Jennifer.
Sigh.
IT'S NOT FAIR! GRRR...It's like Lindsay wants to remind me that Josh belongs to Jennifer. I didn't even know he had any interest in her! And why do they think I have an interest in him? I just wanted a friend.
Okay, I need to go home. This is just fueling my anger.
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Two seconds later Lindsay and this Dave football player guy found me. He asked me to the prom. Looks like I'm going.
The guy is super cute. He just broke up with his girlfriend which is why he didn't have a date. He seems nice enough. I'm sure I'll have a good time. I'm just fuming about the way Lindsay and Jennifer acted earlier.
Lindsay said her next fix up was going to be Josh and Jennifer.
Sigh.
IT'S NOT FAIR! GRRR...It's like Lindsay wants to remind me that Josh belongs to Jennifer. I didn't even know he had any interest in her! And why do they think I have an interest in him? I just wanted a friend.
Okay, I need to go home. This is just fueling my anger.
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Well, the new day has come and gone. Maybe happiness just isn’t in the cards for me right now…
Yesterday I was on cloud nine. After school I stopped in the choir room to talk to Mr. Sherman. As I was finishing up with him, Josh walked in and told me that he was looking for me at lunch! I was shocked that he’d be looking for me – but of course he didn’t find me because I was logged on here writing about the day before. Anyway, we got to talking and he asked me if I wanted to get ice cream with him. Of course I said yes!
We went into town and walked around for a little while. It was nice to be outside and not be freezing. I guess my Florida blood is still getting accustomed to Pennsylvania weather, but yesterday felt like Florida. I was in my element, but I digress. I’m supposed to be talking about Josh. We got ice cream cones and sat outside talking for about an hour. As we were getting ready to leave, my cousin, Lindsay and her best friend, Jennifer, bumped into us.
Lindsay looked surprised – and not in a good way - to see me with Josh. Jennifer didn’t seem to notice I was there. She just ran over to Josh and started talking to him. He offered us all a ride home, but I declined. It was weird, I just felt really uncomfortable with Lindsay and Jennifer around. I pretended that I wanted to walk and enjoy the warm weather.
So last night I was working on my computer… I was actually going to log on here but I got side tracked by Lindsay who IMed me to see why I was hanging out with Josh. She was so weird about it. It annoyed me and I was about to log off when Josh IMs me! All he said was that he had fun in town with me and then he wished me “sweet dreams.” It was so cute and then he logged off.
So this morning I wake up in seventh heaven, but like I said, that didn’t last long. At lunch Josh came over to my lunch table and started to talk to me. Two seconds later Lindsay shows up and tells me that some “popular” football guy that I don’t even know wants to take me to the prom. It was so weird because the prom is in two weeks – shouldn’t he have a date by now? It totally interrupted my conversation with Josh. He ended up going back to his table.
After he left Jennifer arrived for lunch. She sat down with me and told me that Josh didn’t have a prom date yet and she was hoping he’d ask her. She said that she’s had a crush on him since her freshman year (she’s a junior) and that if I’m not really crazy about him, I should back off.
I am so ticked off! Don’t these people get that all I want is a friend? I’m not after Josh. I’m not trying to be his new girlfriend. I just like being around him because we click in a way that feels natural and real. I’m so frustrated. Now I have to give up my friendship with Josh because Jennifer feels threatened. Lindsay, of course, is going to side with Jen since they are best friends. I’m up against the wall.
I don’t even care about the stupid prom. I’m a sophomore. I’m not even supposed to go. I don’t want Jennifer to miss out on her junior prom, but what makes her think Josh would ask her? What makes her think he would ask me? The whole thing is bizarre…
Now Lindsay is trying to hook me up with this football player, dude. She thinks it would be fun for us all to “go together.” Is she for re
Yesterday I was on cloud nine. After school I stopped in the choir room to talk to Mr. Sherman. As I was finishing up with him, Josh walked in and told me that he was looking for me at lunch! I was shocked that he’d be looking for me – but of course he didn’t find me because I was logged on here writing about the day before. Anyway, we got to talking and he asked me if I wanted to get ice cream with him. Of course I said yes!
We went into town and walked around for a little while. It was nice to be outside and not be freezing. I guess my Florida blood is still getting accustomed to Pennsylvania weather, but yesterday felt like Florida. I was in my element, but I digress. I’m supposed to be talking about Josh. We got ice cream cones and sat outside talking for about an hour. As we were getting ready to leave, my cousin, Lindsay and her best friend, Jennifer, bumped into us.
Lindsay looked surprised – and not in a good way - to see me with Josh. Jennifer didn’t seem to notice I was there. She just ran over to Josh and started talking to him. He offered us all a ride home, but I declined. It was weird, I just felt really uncomfortable with Lindsay and Jennifer around. I pretended that I wanted to walk and enjoy the warm weather.
So last night I was working on my computer… I was actually going to log on here but I got side tracked by Lindsay who IMed me to see why I was hanging out with Josh. She was so weird about it. It annoyed me and I was about to log off when Josh IMs me! All he said was that he had fun in town with me and then he wished me “sweet dreams.” It was so cute and then he logged off.
So this morning I wake up in seventh heaven, but like I said, that didn’t last long. At lunch Josh came over to my lunch table and started to talk to me. Two seconds later Lindsay shows up and tells me that some “popular” football guy that I don’t even know wants to take me to the prom. It was so weird because the prom is in two weeks – shouldn’t he have a date by now? It totally interrupted my conversation with Josh. He ended up going back to his table.
After he left Jennifer arrived for lunch. She sat down with me and told me that Josh didn’t have a prom date yet and she was hoping he’d ask her. She said that she’s had a crush on him since her freshman year (she’s a junior) and that if I’m not really crazy about him, I should back off.
I am so ticked off! Don’t these people get that all I want is a friend? I’m not after Josh. I’m not trying to be his new girlfriend. I just like being around him because we click in a way that feels natural and real. I’m so frustrated. Now I have to give up my friendship with Josh because Jennifer feels threatened. Lindsay, of course, is going to side with Jen since they are best friends. I’m up against the wall.
I don’t even care about the stupid prom. I’m a sophomore. I’m not even supposed to go. I don’t want Jennifer to miss out on her junior prom, but what makes her think Josh would ask her? What makes her think he would ask me? The whole thing is bizarre…
Now Lindsay is trying to hook me up with this football player, dude. She thinks it would be fun for us all to “go together.” Is she for re
Monday, April 19, 2004
My geometry test on Thursday is going to be a nightmare. I know I should be working on it, but I can't. My mind just can't focus on it today. I feel like a new day has come. For the first time since I moved here, things are looking up.
Yesterday I went to the Philly's game for Lauren's b-day. I was on the fence about going because I knew everyone there would be younger, but it turned out to be great. I rode down with Lauren, her mom and her friends. When we got there her father and Josh were waiting with some of Lauren's other friends.
I ended up spending the afternoon talking and hanging out with Josh. It was amazing. For the first time since I moved her, I feel like I connected with someone naturally, instead of my forced friendships with Lindsay's friends. I told him how much I miss Florida, and hate geometry. He told me about his music and how he is going to NYU next year. I told him how I've always wanted to go to New York but I've never been. He said he'd take me some time.
After the game we all went to a place called "Nifty Fifties." It was a 1950's style restaraunt. Lots of fun! :)
I know it's silly. It was one afternoon, but I feel like I have renewed confidence in myself. I feel like I finally have a real friend.
Well, I guess I should stop wasting time and start on my math...
Yesterday I went to the Philly's game for Lauren's b-day. I was on the fence about going because I knew everyone there would be younger, but it turned out to be great. I rode down with Lauren, her mom and her friends. When we got there her father and Josh were waiting with some of Lauren's other friends.
I ended up spending the afternoon talking and hanging out with Josh. It was amazing. For the first time since I moved her, I feel like I connected with someone naturally, instead of my forced friendships with Lindsay's friends. I told him how much I miss Florida, and hate geometry. He told me about his music and how he is going to NYU next year. I told him how I've always wanted to go to New York but I've never been. He said he'd take me some time.
After the game we all went to a place called "Nifty Fifties." It was a 1950's style restaraunt. Lots of fun! :)
I know it's silly. It was one afternoon, but I feel like I have renewed confidence in myself. I feel like I finally have a real friend.
Well, I guess I should stop wasting time and start on my math...
Friday, April 16, 2004
Skipping lunch today to work on geometry. I guess I'm not being very productive since I'm logged on here. Today's been just a regular day. Nothing too exciting going on. Tonight I'm going to the movies with Lindsay and Jennifer. We're going to see "Ella Enchanted." Tomorrow I'm going to the mall with Aunt Lucinda. On Sunday I'm going to a Phillie's game for Lauren's birthday. It's a big deal for people around here because of the new ball park. I'm from Florida, and I could care less about baseball, but it should be fun...I guess. I mean, I'm the only one who's going to be there who's not in 8th grade. Oh well. I can't complain. It's not like my social calendar is full anyway.
Well, onto geometry!
Well, onto geometry!
Thursday, April 15, 2004
The day after Christmas my parents - the drunk father and enabler mother - dropped a bomb on me. They decided that it would be in my best interest to leave my home of fifteen years - Sunny Sarasota, Florida - to move to cold, snowy Pennsylvania. I spent New Years Eve in a motel off of I-95 in North Carolina, a stop on the way to my Great Aunt Lucinda's house in Pennsylvania. We pulled up to the house outside of Philadelphia the next evening. My mom helped me settle in and then left me here so that she could tend to my alcoholic father's every whim.
Now, I admit that I'm mad at my mother, but she's the one I really feel bad for. Although I'd much rather be in Florida, I can't help but feel relieved that I'm away from the drama that comes along with having an alcoholic father.
Still, moving to a new town has not been easy. Aunt Lucinda kind of forced me on my cousin, Lindsay. I love Linds, but she's a year older than me and we're so different. We're not friends because we choose to be - we're friends because we're family. The only person in her group that I click with is Alex. He's such a sweet guy - and he's a sophomore like me. He's totally in love with my neighbor, Molly, so he gives me rides home from school sometimes so that he can see her. I honestly don't know what he sees in her. She's a stuck up snob if you ask me.
Besides Alex, the only person I've bonded with is Lauren Anderson. She lives next door and is in 8th grade. On my way home from school one day I saw her getting teased by some "bullies." I jumped in and rescued her. Since then she's loved me.
Lauren's a pretty cool kid. I like spending time with her. It's like having the little sister I never had. I only wish it could score me some points with her older brother, Josh.
Josh is like the most sought after guy in high school. Lindsay's friend, Jennifer, just loves him. I just think he's nice. He's always smiling and I like that. I think I blew my chance to be friends with him though. My first night in PA I was looking out my bedroom window - which happens to look directly into his. He caught me watching him. I'm sure he thinks I'm a total freak!
He teased me the next day when we officially met. He called me "Peeping Thompson." I guess he thought I had Aunt Lucinda's last name. It was cute though.
Well, Aunt Lucinda's calling me for dinner and I have to struggle through geometry homework tonight. :(
I'm outtie!
Now, I admit that I'm mad at my mother, but she's the one I really feel bad for. Although I'd much rather be in Florida, I can't help but feel relieved that I'm away from the drama that comes along with having an alcoholic father.
Still, moving to a new town has not been easy. Aunt Lucinda kind of forced me on my cousin, Lindsay. I love Linds, but she's a year older than me and we're so different. We're not friends because we choose to be - we're friends because we're family. The only person in her group that I click with is Alex. He's such a sweet guy - and he's a sophomore like me. He's totally in love with my neighbor, Molly, so he gives me rides home from school sometimes so that he can see her. I honestly don't know what he sees in her. She's a stuck up snob if you ask me.
Besides Alex, the only person I've bonded with is Lauren Anderson. She lives next door and is in 8th grade. On my way home from school one day I saw her getting teased by some "bullies." I jumped in and rescued her. Since then she's loved me.
Lauren's a pretty cool kid. I like spending time with her. It's like having the little sister I never had. I only wish it could score me some points with her older brother, Josh.
Josh is like the most sought after guy in high school. Lindsay's friend, Jennifer, just loves him. I just think he's nice. He's always smiling and I like that. I think I blew my chance to be friends with him though. My first night in PA I was looking out my bedroom window - which happens to look directly into his. He caught me watching him. I'm sure he thinks I'm a total freak!
He teased me the next day when we officially met. He called me "Peeping Thompson." I guess he thought I had Aunt Lucinda's last name. It was cute though.
Well, Aunt Lucinda's calling me for dinner and I have to struggle through geometry homework tonight. :(
I'm outtie!
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