Last night I got a phone call. "It's a boy," my mother told me as she handed me the phone. But it wasn't just any boy... it was the boy. It was Josh. And he wanted to meet up with me today. He said he wanted to see where I grew up.

So this morning I got up at the crack of dawn and hit the stores with my mom for some Christmas shopping. We were back by 11:00 and Josh was here by noon. I gave him a tour of the house and then he, Lindsay and I went to Natalie's house. We hopped on her boat and took a ride through Venice and stopped at Pelican Alley for lunch.

After lunch we all went to Siesta Key. Lindsay and Natalie went for a walk. I think they just wanted to give Josh and I some time alone - which I appreciated.

He told me that he was surprised by how different my life was here. He thought it would be more like Pennsylvania. I wasn't sure what he meant except I don't think he realized how much money my dad has. I think our house surprised him.

We decided to go swimming even though it was kind of on the chilly side. We were walking to the water and Josh said something like, "You look so cute in that bikini it makes me want to pretend to by your boyfriend again." I batted my eyes at him and said, "Me? Cute?" He laughed and was like, "The Pennsylvania Nicole may not know she's cute, but the Florida Nicole knows she's smokin'!"

We were flirting in the water and then he brought up the kissing incident. He said he caught the "first kiss" part of my comment the other day. He said that I was right and that he thought our first kiss should be special!!!!! OH MY GOD! I thought I was going to pass out. Really. Hyperventalating!

Lindsay and Natalie were swimming out so I couldn't really respond. The rest of the day was amazing. I am so crazy for this guy - and now I know he feels it too!!!!!!!!! Yippie!

Last night was amazing!

The party started around 5:00. Josh and Lauren were among the first there so I gave them a quick tour of Nat's house. They couldn't believe how big it was! We then went outside and sat on the beach and watched the sunset. It was great, but it would have been better if Lindsay and Lauren weren't with us...me and Josh alone, now that would have been perfect.

After sunset we went over to the pool where the other guests were gathering. This guy that used to have a huge crush on me was there - his name is Todd. I groaned to Josh that this guy used to follow me around and bother me, so when Todd came over Josh told him that he was my "boyfriend from Pennsylvania!" I couldn't believe it! I knew he was just trying to help me out, but I was still shocked! :)

We played pool volleyball for a while and then we ate dinner. One of the guys had his guitar and then I kind of lost Josh's attention for awhile. They started talking music. It gave me a chance to hang out with Natalie. She told me that she thinks Josh likes me.

Lauren was busy picking up guys! I couldn't believe it! I'm surprised Josh wasn't keeping a closer eye on her.

Later, Josh walked up behind me and put his arms around me. He was like: "Do you think Todd is convinced that we're together?" Before I could answer Todd walked over to us. He started telling Josh how lucky he was. He said that he had been trying to get a date with me since the 7th grade. (By the way, Todd's a nice guy. I just never liked him that way!) Then he goes on to say that he wishes that he had dated me because he imagined that I would be a good kisser. At the point I was pretty embarrassed. Then he asked Josh if I was a good kisser! Twice as embarrassed. Josh even looked a little embarrassed too! Todd started to get suspicious and was like, "You have kissed her right? You're really her boyfriend?" Josh assured him that he was my boyfriend but Todd wasn't convinced and he was like, "Kiss her." So Josh leans in to kiss me - but I pushed him away and told them it was stupid...it wasn't mean and Josh didn't take it that way. I wasn't really mad at him, I just didn't want to our first kiss to be like that.

I walked off and was so completely embarrassed. Josh came over to me and apologized. This is where it gets even more embarrassing, because I said, "I just don't want our first kiss to be because you're trying to prove something to someone else." I was hoping that he missed the "first" part, and he just nodded so I think he did.

The rest of the night was great though. Things kind of went back to normal after that, but Josh was flirting with me a little more than usual. I hope Natalie's right. I just hope I didn't scare him off!

This morning I got up early to watch the Macy's parade. We're getting ready to head over to the beach now. Fun! Fun!

Natalie played hooky from school today so that she could go out to St. Armand's Circle with Lindsay and I. We walked in and out of the shops and had lunch. It was pretty uneventful until we decided we needed some ice cream. We went into Scoopdaddy's and started looking at all of their toys. We got side tracked by the "I Love Lucy" magnets. Lindsay wanted to get one for Aunt Lu because she sometimes goes by Lucy. Anyway, after about fifteen minutes we finally got around to getting our ice cream. We ordered and as we were headed towards the door, the Anderson family walked in! Josh included!

Can you believe it? It was like fate. Of all of the ice cream shops in Sarasota - in St. Armand's alone - they walked into the one we were in. And we were only there because Lindsay had taken so long to make up her mind! I swear that I higher power was working in our favor. I was so destined me to see Josh today!!!!

So we were talking to Lauren who was complaining that she was kind of bored. She said that after dinner they just sit around and watch TV. Natalie mentioned the party tonight and said that she and Josh were welcome to come - and they said they would!

I can't wait! Party tonight! With Josh! Yippie! :)

I've been having a good time since I got here...

Saturday night we went for dinner at the Olive Garden - all of us: mom, dad, gram, gramps, Aunt Lu, Aunt Linda, Uncle Bill, Lindsay, Brett and I.

On Sunday we headed over to the beach. Lindsay couldn't believe how beautiful Siesta Key is. The sand there is amazing. For dinner we had a big cookout on the back patio and did some night swimming. I miss swimming in the fall/winter.

On Monday, I went shopping with the women and we had tea at a place in Venice. It was so much fun. I actually forgot that Josh flew in last night. He flew in from JFK. He went straight from class to the airport.

So much for not thinking of him, huh? I'm obsessed! I'm sick. I've got a Josh sickness. Anyway, I'm doing my best to have fun and not think about him. There's more to life than boys, right?

I went over to my old high school this afternoon and saw a bunch of friends. They have a half day of school tomorrow and Nat's having a party at her house tomorrow night so I'll get to see everyone.

I'm going to Florida! Yippie! I can't wait. Tomorrow I'm getting on a plane and by lunch time I'll be home in Sunny, Sarasota. I can't wait to see my mom and Natalie. My grandparents (on my dad's side) are coming from Tennessee for the holiday. It's going to be a full house! I just hope my father can control himself for a few days.

I keep thinking about the situation with Josh...or, rather, the lack of situation with Josh. I'm thinking that maybe I really should just give up on him.

He's in college - in New York City. I'm sure the girls at NYU are a lot more grown up and sophisticated than I am. I'm a misplaced southern girl who's still in high school and will be for another year and a half. He probably thinks of me as a kid.

I think I'm just going to go to Florida and sit on the beach and try to forget him. I'm not even going to think about the fact that he's only going to be 45 minutes away. I'm going to call Nat and we're going to go out and have fun without any guys!

When I got to work, Nancy, the secretary - who is also pregnant - asked me to run over to Wawa and get her a candy bar and a jar of peanut butter. I guess she's having cravings or something so I went to pick them up. When I got back Josh was sitting in the office. His mom was out for a few hours so he said he was going to wait for her.

So I go to my desk to work - and ignore him - and he follows me and asks me to tell him about cool things to do in Bradenton (the town his grandparents have at house at in Florida - right next to Sarasota). So I tell him about Sarasota Jungle Gardens and Lido Beach.

Then he asked me how far Bradenton was from my parent's house. I told him it was about 45 minutes. He asked if I'd want to meet up some day next week! I played it cool and told him to call me when he gets to Florida!

He finally left and Nancy smiled at me and told me that there was no way he was there for his mother - he didn't even wait for her! She thinks he wanted to see me. She said that he asked for me the minute he walked in the office, and didn't even say anything about his mother until I got there!

I'm going to just keep playing hard-to-get! :)

Last night I went to the library to get some books to take with me to Florida. As I was walking out Josh was walking in! I remembered The Rules and decided to play it cool. I said hello to him and then breezed by as quickly as I could. Well, he came running after me! He "needed advice on what to pack" for Florida!

He he...I could totally tell he was just trying to talk to me. This hard-to-get stuff really works!

I just gave him some quick examples and then I told him I had to get home. I left leaving him wanting more! :)

I love The Rules.

Molly bought The Rules book last night. We were going through it at lunch today and I can tell you I feel even more depressed about Josh. The book basically says that if he doesn't ask you out, he's not interested. :(

That's what's so weird...He doesn't ask me out, but he acts likes he is interested. He's so sweet whenever we're together and he will touch my arm or back when we're walking or talking. Why would he do that if he didn't like me? And the way he looks at me...I LOVE the way he looks at me... And Molly made a good point today. She said, "The guy is teaching you how to drive. He wouldn't do that if he didn't like you."

So why doesn't he ask me out!?!? Maybe The Rules is right. Maybe it's because I'm too available to him. Maybe I should hang back and let him pursue me a little...

On another note...I had the most vivid dream last night. Josh and I were sitting on a bench near the beach. It wasn't in Florida though because the beach didn't look like Florida and we were wearing sweat shirts. We were talking and it was like we were really together. That's all I remember of it, but it felt so real. I could smell and taste the salt air. I could feel the slight chill in the air. I could feel how wonderful it would be if I were Josh's girlfriend.

How am I ever going to get over this guy?

Josh and Lauren just came into work to see their mom. Seeing him drives me crazy. I'm so frustrated with him!

Molly and I were moping together at lunch today. She wants Alex. I want Josh. And neither of us have what we want. We were thinking of trying the "hard to get" act. I'm just worried that they won't even notice... I mean, Alex is so into Becky, and Josh probably doesn't think anything of it.

I tried it on him when he stopped by and he didn't even notice. He said hi to me and then went into his mother's office. It was like he was the one playing hard to get!

My teacher's out sick today so they sent us to study hall...it's been a quiet morning. I'm still thinking about Josh and what I should do in Florida.

I can't help it but I keep holding on to the hope that he feels the connection too. Sometimes when he looks at me there's something in his eyes and I think, he has to feel it too! But he never does anything to act on that feeling...It's so discouraging.

Maybe I'm just seeing things that I want to see. Maybe I just bend everything he says and does into what I want to hear and see.

Okay, I've decided. I'm giving up...again.

It feels like Christmas is getting earlier and earlier... One of the radio stations in Philadelphia is already playing Christmas music 24/7! It's not even Thanksgiving yet!

I'm kind of having mixed feelings about Thanksgiving. I was excited because Josh is going to be in Florida, but now I'm not sure if it even matters...I'm just not getting any where with the boy.

On Saturday he sat with us at the Homecoming game because he was Lindsay's escort for the Homecoming Court. It was fun and we talked but nothing came out of it. Before the night was over he asked if I wanted to go for a drive on Sunday.

So Sunday comes and I'm thinking, he wants to spend time with me, but it's just the same old thing. It's like we're buddies or pals... I don't want to be his pal. I want to be his girlfriend! I'm just so frustrated.

Part of me is thinking that I shouldn't bother to contact Josh or Lauren when we're in Florida. Maybe I just need a break. Maybe I need to forget about Josh.

Today was a great day...Mrs. Anderson just told me that Josh is going to Florida for Thanksgiving! That means he'll be down there the same time that I'll be down there, and just 45 minutes away! Yippie! Lauren already said she wanted to get together. Now all I have to do is convince her to bring her adorable older brother along...

I'm really looking forward to going now. Even though I have to deal with my dad, it won't be so bad because everyone will be there...Aunt Lu, Uncle Bill, Aunt Linda, Lindsay, Brett, my grandparents on my dad's side. And if I'm lucky maybe I'll get to see Josh and Lauren.

I don't think Josh will be down there the whole time I'm there though. I don't care. I just need one day. Just one. Me and him at Siesta Key around sunset...I'm going to make this happen.

I'm going to see Josh on Saturday. He has to accompany Lindsay to the homecoming game. I think he has to be in the parade too. Molly and I are doing the junior class float so we'll be in the parade too.

I do have to admit, I like some of the social activities that the school here in Pennsylvania offers better than what we did in Florida.

Anyway, I'm at work so I should get back to work....

Our Homecoming Dance was this past Saturday. It was awesome - Lindsay won Homecoming Queen! I was so excited.

The dance was fun. Molly and I got there early to decorate and set up. I was in charge of selling tickets and spent the first half hour of the dance waiting for Lindsay and Josh to get there. Molly finally made me take a break because I was getting worried that Lindsay had chickened out and wasn't going to show up.

I went out and danced for a little while and then returned to the table and saw Lindsay and Josh standing there talking to Molly. I was so relieved to see them. Lindsay looked gorgeous and Josh...he always looks gorgeous.

I went back to selling tickets with Molly and Lindsay and Josh went into the dance. That's when Alex and Becky showed up. Molly looked like she was going to jump over the table and strangle Becky. Molly's crush on Alex gets bigger and bigger the more she can't have him. Before I didn't think it was that genuine, but now I think she really likes him. She was kind of bummed the rest of the night.

Once the first hour of the dance was underway we closed up shop and went to have some fun. Molly and I hit the dance floor - conveniently close to Alex. Molly was shaking her thing all around him!

They played the song "Pretty Woman" and Alex and I danced a Cha Cha. At least all of our work is starting to pay off - he actually looked pretty good! I also slow danced with this guy, Nick who is always hanging around me. He's a nice guy, but I have no interest in him. In fact, I was staring at Josh the whole time I was slow dancing...wishing I were in his arms.

A little later in the evening Lindsay was starting to get nervous about the Homecoming Court. She and Jennifer disappeared in the ladies' room for a while so I got a chance to dance with Josh. It was a fast song though...Usher's Yeah!

The Homecoming Court was next and I stood there hoping and praying that Lindsay would be selected. When they called her name I cheered. I was so happy for her! She and Josh had to dance a special dance together, and then I got to congratulate her. I gave her a big hug and she thanked me for helping her get a date. Then she said that I better get some dances in with Josh before the night was over. I felt weird about it though...I know that there's nothing between Josh and Lindsay but he was her date for the evening.

I spent most of the rest of the night hanging out with Molly and counseling her on the situation with Alex. Towards the very end of the night Josh walked over and insisted that I dance with him. I finally got my slow dance!

I can't explain it though...I live for those few moments when I'm that close to him, but I get so caught up in it that I can hardly enjoy it. I just remember that he was holding me very close and that he smelt and felt so good.

After the dance I had to clean up which took an hour. Then we met up with Lindsay, Josh, Jennifer, and her date for a late night snack. Lindsay and I went into the bathroom and she started telling me how great Josh had been all night. I started to get a little worried and asked her if she was developing a thing for him. She assured me that she wasn't and that she knew I liked him.

Josh gave me a ride home. When we got there he said, "I think I forgot to tell you how pretty you looked tonight." He's so sweet!!!!

I haven't posted this week because I've been swamped with school work and I haven't been feeling good. Not too much has been going on anyway. Molly is pining over Alex and he's totally "in love" with his French girlfriend.

I saw Josh last weekend at Molly's Halloween party. Nothing too eventful happened...just the usual: Josh being so adorable and me wanting him. I'm always wanting him.

Good news is that I'm going out with Molly tonight to see The Grudge and she just called me to let me know that she convinced Josh to come with us! Yippie!

More to come soon...