I talked to Eric last night (dance partner from a few summers ago). He's going to teach me some gymnastic moves that I can use in my choreography. I'm planning for the freestyle in this summer's competition. I'm going to win again this summer. I've decided. I haven't won since I danced with Josh and I probably should be happy with that one win, but I want more. I want to win again and this is probably my last summer as a competitor so it has to be this year. I just hope my partner wants to win as badly as I do.

So I've decided that Josh being back in New York doesn't change anything. We're still broken up and moving on with our own lives. There's nothing to do or change. I just don't know why I haven't shared this news with Mark yet. I keep meaning to tell him. It feels like I'm doing something wrong by keeping it from him, but I also feel weird about telling him. I'm just going to have to get it out...one word after the other!