Natalie dropped a bomb on me. A two part bomb. Part 1: She's been dating Jason for months and it's serious. Part 2: As a result of this relationship she has found out that Josh has moved to New York. And she's seen him. Several times.

I was pissed at first. I'm trying to get over being mad. She says he's been writing me letters since I didn't want to talk to him, but I haven't received any letters. I don't know what to think. She said he hasn't called or visited me because he's not sure I want to see him. He also knows about Mark.

Honestly, I don't know what to think. I flipped out a Natalie. How could she hold out on me for so long? I know I insisted that I didn't want to talk about him, but she should have just blurted it out. She should have made me listen. Josh moving back East is a big deal. I'm so confused.

Plus I'm dating Mark now. What am I supposed to do? Just dump him because Josh is near by? Josh hasn't exactly made any romantic overtures. And maybe, just maybe, Mark is the guy for me. I don't have to pine for him. I don't have to worry that he's going to move 3,000 miles away. I like knowing where things stand. I know that Josh loves me, but he's always leaving. I just can't take it anymore.

Why is life always so complicated? Does boy meets girl, boy marries girl, boy and girl live happily ever after even exist? With Josh it's high highs and low lows. With Mark, it's just a steady thing. That's what I need right now: a steady thing.