Happy New Year! I'm back and hoping that 2011 starts off better than 2010 ended. I really messed up. I should have stayed the course with getting over Josh. I was doing well. I really liked Jack and I was moving on. Then I got those stupid letters and it set me back.

Josh and I had a conversation last week and I told him that I wanted to spend time with him again. Somehow it ended in an argument. He said I can't keep changing my mind and then expecting him to get on board the minute I decide I want him back. That was pretty much the end of the conversation. I never even got to tell him about the letters. He doesn't know I have them. He doesn't know Molly kept them from me.

Then, of course, there is Molly. I am so mad at her. I let her have it. If she had just given me the letters, I wouldn't be in this situation right now! It's just so maddening that she did that. She said she was doing it for my own good and that she wanted me to get over him and move on - but I didn't need to get over him because he still loved me! I have to stop writing about it, because the more I write, the angrier I get.

I saw Jack yesterday. He was actually willing to give me another chance but I don't feel right about it. The fact is, I still love Josh. I understand that he's not interested in getting back together, but that doesn't mean I should be with someone else. Besides, Josh is present in every relationship I'm in. It wouldn't be fair to Jack. Three is a crowd after all.

I found out this morning that Aunt Lu has to have surgery in two weeks. It's not major or anything, but I still worry about her. My mom is flying up to stay with her for a week or so afterward. I hope it all goes well.

Well, time for me to get back to work. The holidays are over and our classes are back in full swing so it's busy around here!