I am so nervous about tonight. I think I'm going to be sick! :(

Tonight is the talent show. I was feeling better about it last night, but now I'm just plain old scared! Why did I let those boys talk me into this? Sigh... Maybe it's because one of them has the prettiest blue eyes I've ever seen.

I don't know how I'm going to get over Josh Anderson. He haunts me. I can't shake him. He's the last thing I think of at night and the first thing I think of in the morning. The way those shiny blue eyes look at me...and that smile...it's enough to make a girl loose her head and her heart.

I try to forget him. I really do. I hate to see Jennifer so sad over him. She came to Molly's party for him Saturday night, which I have to say was a pretty brave thing to do considering that Josh had broken her heart and Molly hates her. She was putting on a brave front, but I could tell she was falling apart inside. If I went after Josh now it would be like a knife in her back. Maybe someday things will be different...

I don't know. Josh really doesn't seem that interested in me anyway. Right after the baseball game, I thought he had taken a liking to me, but lately he's sort of been in another world. Lauren mentioned to me that he didn't have university housing in NY for next fall, and he was struggling to find an apartment in the city that he could afford. Maybe that's what's been going on with him...or maybe there's some new girl that I don't know about.

Oh, I got my iPod back. I left it at the Anderson's house. Josh gave it to me at school the other day. He said he knew it was mine because of all of the Jessica Simpson, Sarah McLauchlin and NSYNC songs on it. He probably thinks I'm a teenie bopper! I asked him how he knew that I listened to them, and he said he could hear it from his bedroom when our windows were both open (our houses are only a few feet from each other). I think it's time to shut the windows and crank up the AC. Thank God I haven't told anyone (except Alex) that I like Josh. I can just picture myself gushing about him on the phone or something, and him sitting in his room hearing everything I say! Can you imagine?


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