I was exhausted when I got home last night so I apologize for not posting the details until now. Here we go...

The Prom was totally crazy...Everyone met for pictures at Lindsay's house. My Uncle Bill and Aunt Linda were there along with Aunt Lucinda, Josh's mom and Lauren.

Dave was a real gentleman and kept complimenting me. We took the limo from Lindsay's to the prom. Dinner was okay. I thought I'd suffer through dinner...you know, having to sit at the same table as Josh but not be able to talk to him... I was actually able to tolerate it. He got up and went over to his friends' table for a while which made it a little easier. It's just so hard to be around him when I can't be his friend.

After dinner we started to dance. Dave's ex-girlfriend was there and I could tell that he wanted to talk to her so I told him that he should ask her to dance. Well, he disappeared for a half hour!

I started to get tired of waiting for him so I walked outside to the balcony and was looking up at the stars when Josh walked out! He told me that I should become an astonomer since I like star gazing so much. I told him that I'd rather just admire them from afar. I explained that I'm afraid that if I knew too much about them that they wouldn't have the same mystery. He kind of looked at me strangly but said that he understood. I think he was going to say something else but Jennifer came out and dragged him back inside.

I waited a few minutes and then walked inside. A slow song was playing and Dave was still nowhere to be seen so I stood off to the side. While I was standing there Molly walked over to me. I guess she noticed me watching Jennifer and Josh because she said, "It must be hard." I had no idea what she was talking about so I asked her what she meant. She said, "It must be hard letting Jennifer have him when you want him." Can you believe her?!?!?!?!? I just ignored her.

The next song was a fast dance so I hit the dance floor with Lindsay and James. Dave joined us and apologized for being gone so long. His ex was having a hard time seeing him with another girl. If she only knew that I have NO interest in him what-so-ever!

Dave and I slow danced and he asked me if I wanted to dance with Josh! I have no idea where that came from. I told him that Josh was with Jennifer and I didn't care whether I danced with him or not. So Dave was like, "I'm going to ask Jennifer to dance when the next slow song comes on. What you do with that time is up to you."

So the next song comes on and Dave goes over to Jennifer and Josh and cuts in. At this point my heart was pounding so hard. I don't know why. I think I was scared that Jennifer would see through it. Josh looked at me and walked over. He held out his hand and asked me to dance.

I don't think I can deny it anymore. Not after that dance. I said yes and took his hand. He led me to the dance floor and pulled me close - closer than I expected. I don't even know how to describe it, except that there was a little extra electricity in the air during those four and a half minutes of "This I Promise You." If I had known how powerful those few minutes would be I probably would've run for the hills. It was the first time since I got here that I've really felt safe. I didn't ever want to let him go. It just felt so good to be in his arms...oh, and he smelt so-o-o-o-o-o-o-o good. At the end of the dance he leaned into my right ear and whispered, "You look beautiful tonight."

How can I deny that I don't think he's the most amazing guy on the earth after that? It's just so unfair...Jennifer sets her sights on him three years ago so everyone thinks that she deserves him. But what does he deserve? Shouldn't he get to pick who he wants to be with? I just don't think Jennifer's that person...

At the end of the night Dave dropped me off at home. He told me he thinks I should tell Josh how I feel about him. I told him again that I don't care about Josh. He kind of laughed and was like, "Well, if you did care about Josh, I think it would be smart to tell him - before this thing with Jennifer becomes real."

He just doesn't understand that if something happened between me and Josh, Jennifer would think I "stole" him from her, and Lindsay would be ticked off. I really don't need the two of them making things more difficult for me. Besides, no matter how annoyed I may be with them about this whole thing, they have been really good to me since I got here. They let me eat lunch with them, go shopping with them and they've introduced me to people. I think the best thing to do would be to forget Josh.

Anyway, Alex is picking me up in a little while for our day out. It's such a nice day so we're going to go to the lake and do some homework and then we're going to go miniture golfing and out to dinner. Thank God for Alex. I don't know what I'd do without him.

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