I'm sorry I haven't checked in since last week. Things have been busy.

Friday morning my mom called me and told me that she got a cheap flight to Philadelphia so that we could spend mother's day weekend together. We had a nice time while she was here. We went to the zoo and had tea with Aunt Lu on mother's day.

I rehearsed with Josh and Alex over the weekend. I'm kind of excited now about performing.

This has been a weird week for me. I've had a flood of different and opposing emotions on the Josh issue. Monday was a normal day of obsessing over him, but things changed on Tuesday. As I was leaving school I ran into Jennifer and found her crying. It was kind of awkward because we aren't that close but I talked to her and found out she was crying over Josh. :(

Apparently Jennifer told Josh that she wanted to be more than friends, and Josh told her he wasn't interested. He said he thought she was a special person but he didn't have those kind of feelings for her. This is where it gets weird for me. My first thought was "yippie!" But then I saw how sad Jennifer was and my heart broke for her. She's liked this guy since she was in 9th grade and she was completely devastated.

I spent the rest of the week feeling bummed. I feel like I have to stay away from Josh more now than I did before. Jennifer's confided in me and I really feel bad for her. It wouldn't seem right to go after him... How do I get myself into these messes?

On Wednesday Dave asked me if I wanted to go out tonight. I haven't hung out with him since the prom so I said yes...I'm just not sure if this is supposed to be a date or just two friends hanging out. He suspects that I have feelings for Josh, so I'm thinking he just wants to hang out. We're going out for Chinese food (yum yum yum!) and possibly a movie.

Oh, speaking of movies, last weekend my mom and I saw "Mean Girls." Damn, the girls in that movie were horrible! Even though Jen and Lindsay bug me sometimes, at least they aren't that bad. Really, it's Jen that is a little iffy, but I think deep down she's a decent person. I just think she really cares for Josh and didn't want me getting in her way of a relationship that looked (to her) like it could happen...not sure where things went wrong. Before the baseball game, I'll admit that Jennifer and Josh were hanging out a lot, but I'm not convinced that he ever felt the way she felt.

Oh, and American Idol is driving me mad! Every week I get more and more upset. La Toya should be the American Idol. Diana bugs me. I can't explain why. Fantasia is too full of herself. That only leaves Jasmine. Personality wise, Jas is my girl, but vocally she can't compete with the others.

Anyway, I Aunt Lu said I can't go out until I clean my room, so I better be moving along!

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