I got back to Florida on Sunday afternoon. I'm feeling more down than ever. I think seeing Josh again made things worse. Now I miss him even more. I actually looked for him on Sunday before I left. I wanted to tell him everything but I couldn't find him.

Aunt Lu says that "there is no honor in deceit." She obviously thinks I need to tell him. I just wish I could have told him in person on Sunday. It would be so much easier than over the phone. I just want to see his face and look into his eyes when I tell him. I know he's going to be mad, but I also know he'll understand if I say it the right way. Unfortunately, it's hard to gauge whether I'm saying it the right way if I can't see his face.