I went over to Aunt Lu’s house yesterday to help Josh put up the Christmas lights. Of course Aunt Lu pulled me into the house to help her bake cookies so I wasn’t much help to Josh. She started asking how things were going with him, and I told her that I didn’t know and that I found his actions confusing. I mean, one minute we’re dancing and flirting, and the next minute, he’s giving me a peck on the lips like I’m someone he doesn’t want to be kissing at all! I actually started to get a little emotional and I found myself crying and saying, “I love him so much and I really, really want this to work out.” She gave me a hug and encouraged me to go back outside with him. I made two cups of hot chocolate and went out and sat down on the front porch.

He said he was almost ready for a break and that he’d be down from the roof in a couple minutes. While I was sitting there waiting, I broached the subject of Lauren coming to live with me. I was saying something like, “At some point I think, I mean, I guess you’ll be staying over and I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about Lauren being in the next bedroom.”

He came climbing down the ladder then and said, “I’m really sorry, Nicole.” I immediately freaked out. I jumped up from where I was sitting and said, “Oh my God. You’re breaking up with me.” I started pacing on the porch and he rushed over to me and said, “No! I’m not breaking up with you. I’m not - I’m apologizing to you.” I looked at him and he continued to tell me that he heard my conversation with Aunt Lu. The back window was open and he had heard everything I said.

He told me that we had agreed to take things slowly, so he was trying to honor that. I told him that I can appreciate slow, but I felt like he put the brakes on things. He agreed and said, “I want this to work so badly that I was trying to do everything right, and I ended up doing everything wrong.” I told him that our private dance party the night before wasn’t wrong at all, but I wished he hadn’t run off as soon as it was over. He pulled me into his arms and said, “I’m sorry about that.” He kissed me then - for real.

Then he pulled away and said, “were you asking me if my sister could move in with you?” I smiled at him and he said, “When I imagine myself staying over at your place, I don’t imagine my sister being there.” I smiled at him again and said, “You imagine yourself staying over at my place?” He said, “of course!” I asked him how often he imagines it and he laughed and said, “It might be easier to list the times I’m not thinking about it.”

We ended up deciding that Lauren shouldn’t move into my apartment, but I am still considering letting her have the second apartment.

So Josh is going to be here in a hour with a surprise for me. I have no idea what he’s up to, but he called this morning and told me to be ready by 2:30 to head out for a surprise. I can’t wait to see what it is!