Okay, so a little more about my weekend…

After my song was over and Josh and I stopped kissing, I started to feel kind of woozy. All of the anxiety leading up to the song caught up with me, and I had wanted to look good on stage so I wore high heels - big mistake for my poor sprained ankle.

I asked Josh to help me sit down. We walked over to the edge of the stage and we sat down. Lauren ran over and was so excited that I sang. The Andersons also came over and said I did a great job. (Their presence there was part of the reason I had been so nervous...singing a love song to a guy in front of his parents...scary!)

Once I started to feel a little better, Josh and I walked over to my apartment. I sat down on the couch and iced my ankle and we talked. I told him that I’m confused about a lot of things, but I’m not confused about the fact that I love him and want to be with him. He said he felt the same way.

He brought up my accusation about broken promises and not spending Christmases together, and said that he didn’t realize I had wanted that promise to be kept. I told him how hard Christmas has been for me - not that I’ve had miserable Christmases the past five years, but I always find myself missing him and feeling like there is an empty space without him. Christmas was our holiday. We shared our first kiss on Christmas Eve and I’ve missed him so much. I told him that I would listen to Mariah Carey’s song “Miss You Most At Christmas Time” and think of him.

We talked a bit longer and then he headed home, but we made plans for him to join me at Lindsay and Henry’s for Thanksgiving appetizers and then I’d go to his parents’ house later in the evening for dessert.

Thanksgiving was nice and I was so glad to have Josh with me. His family’s house was beautiful and festive as usual. It was nice to be there with them. After dessert Josh took me into the living room and told me that he wanted to play me a song on the piano. He asked me to sit down next to him and he started to play “I Don’t Want to Spend One More Christmas Without You.”

My heart melted. He looked at me as he sang the words, “we will have the best time that we ever knew, if you forgive me and I forgive you.” It was perfect. Every word in that song was perfect. And he winked at me when he sang “whatever we lost when we were apart, we’ll find it all alone in the dark.” I was feeling a little emotional, but I couldn’t help but grin when he did that.

I hate to gloss over the rest of the weekend, but this blog is getting long. We had a nice time. He helped me put up the Christmas tree on Friday and then on Saturday he took me out to a romantic restaurant - the kind where you get dressed up and dine by candlelight.  It’s been one of the best Thanksgiving weekends I’ve ever had.