I'm getting myself settled in down here. It's so weird to be back in my old bedroom in this house that I haven't lived in since 2003. It's even weirder not having my mom here. I asked her to come down but she thinks it's better if she stays away. I think she's making a huge mistake, but it's her mistake to make.

I went over to the community college yesterday. I explained my situation and they were really nice. They let me enroll in a class even though the semester started last week. That and my two distance learning classes will keep me from getting behind. I guess I know now why the psychic told me to take summer classes.

I'm trying to make the best of things, but it's hard. My father looks so weak. I can't believe he's the same man. I look at him and I want to cry. My grandparents are holding on so hard. It's so weird. I feel like I'm living in some weird dreamland.

I've been thinking about Josh constantly. I wonder how much he hates me right now. I hate that I hurt him, but I was trying to do what's right for him. I will tell him the truth, I just want to wait until I know he's settled and happy in Nashville. I'm not going to let him change his mind or come running to my rescue. He needs to be where he is, and I need to be where I am. Besides, doesn't loving someone mean wanting what is best for them? I know I could be selfish. I know he'd be here if I asked, but I can't do that to him - not when the stakes are this high. How many people get to work with a major record label right out of school without years of struggling? I just can't let him give up his chance. I won't hold him back.