Back to school today. It's rainy and dreary here. It's hard to be back after the weekend in Las Vegas.

Josh and I stuck together the rest of the weekend. We hung out with the gang but we were always together. We went to Freemont Street with everyone Sunday night and then we went out to dinner alone on the strip late that night. Afterwards we walked around holding hands just like we used to. He kissed me goodnight outside my hotel room and it felt like old times. On Monday Lauren, Alex, Jason and Jennifer flew home. Lindsay, Henry, Amanda, Molly and Natalie went to the Hoover Dam so Josh and I got to spend some time together that afternoon.

It was great being with him, but it's making me miss him so much right now. It feels like a set back. I was feeling better and now I'm walking around missing him. The worst part is that I don't want to hear Molly say "I told you so." She warned me not to get too close to him this weekend. I knew she was right but I couldn't stop myself.

He called last night to talk and see how my flight was. He told me that he avoided hooking up with me when he was home in the spring, when I visited him in LA and again when he was home two weeks ago because he knew it would hurt too much. I guess the romantic atmosphere of the sunrise at the Grand Canyon got the best of both of us. It doesn't matter. We both knew that this thing would only last the weekend. I knew what I was doing and I knew that there would be no tomorrow. It sucks but it's the reality.

Now I just have to put my brave face on for a few days until I bounce back. I'm sure I will. I guess what bothers me the most is that there is once in awhile love, and there's once in a lifetime love. Josh is once in a lifetime. Am I destined to spend the rest of my life with second best?

Tonight is my first night teaching dance solo (it's Wednesday nights - not Tuesdays as I previously posted). Maybe getting out there and dancing will help me get my groove back.