Lindsay thinks that repressing my feelings for You-Know-Who will just make me more miserable. She thinks it's better to deal with things head on. She could be right, but when I think of him it hurts. So of course last night he filled my dreams...one dream after another all night long. I hate waking up and feeling like we were just together. It makes it all the more crushing when I discover that it was just a dream. It's like I have to start all over again. I guess my subconscious mind is fighting my conscious decision to repress thoughts of him. I don't know what to do. How do you get over someone and move on? I try to do all of the right things, but nothing ever seems to work. The only times that I had semi-success with getting over Josh is when I was on the road trip and met Patrick, and then again when I was dancing with Mark this summer. Then I see Josh again and I'm back at square one. That is why I needed a clean break. I cannot let my dreams hold me back.

Tonight is the Haunted House so that will keep me busy. Tomorrow I'm working with the cast of "West Side Story" on "Dance At The Gym." I've been having a good time hanging out with the cast. One of the guys keeps asking why I haven't auditioned for any musicals. I wish I had thought to, but I don't think I'm much of an actress. I can dance and I can pull off a singing number, but I'm not sure if I could act. I'm thinking of possibly auditioning for a show in the spring just to see what would happen. Worst case scenario is that I don't get cast, and if I do it might be a lot of fun.