Ugh, Monday. At least I had a good weekend. Friday was opening night of the play. It was great. It was so cool to see the whole thing and to watch my dance come to life on stage. Saturday night I went back to see it again and then to the cast party afterward. It was a blast. We did karaoke all night and played games. This group is very entertaining! I guess that happens when you're a bunch of performers. :)

My little crush on Bill is over. He kind of blew me off on Thursday and I decided I don't need that. Once you've been treated like a queen from the most amazing guy ever, it's hard to settle for being treated okay by a guy who is just okay himself. Maybe that sounds mean...I just know that Josh set the bar really high. That's why it feels like I'll never find anyone nearly as special as him.

This coming weekend is my trip to Massachusetts with Natalie. We'll be visiting Mark and going to Salem for Halloween. I'm looking forward to getting away and Mark tells me that Salem is really cool over Halloween weekend.

It will be nice to see him again, although I'm still torn about what I want to happen between us. I remember the day after our date thinking he was amazing, and then I ran into Josh at the grocery store and the feelings that Josh stirs in me are so much stronger. Mark is too good to be a rebound or a second choice.

I know that my heart is holding out for Josh, but my brain is like "don't let Mark get away!!!" Why does the heart have to complicate things? Why can't the brain explain to the heart that Josh isn't coming back? Why can't the heart move on, or at least move aside and let the brain take over for a little while? Because the brain knows that I'd be an idiot to let a guy like Mark get away, but the heart still loves Josh oh so much...