Josh and I had a fight today. He accused me of keeping him at arms length. He's right. I admit he's right, but I have reason to protect myself. He keeps leaving. I'm scared to get too close. I can't stand having my heart broken over and over again.

I don't know what to do. He leaves again in a few days, and we're not together and we're not not together. It's so confusing. I don't know where we stand and I know that it's partially my fault because I'm holding back. I just can't give myself when I'm so unsure of where we stand.

It's times like this that I wish I had a crystal ball.