I had coffee with Lauren yesterday afternoon. It was a pretty shocking conversation. Somehow we ended up talking about the engagement ring that Natalie found in Josh’s drawer last year. I asked her if she knew who it was for and she said it was for me! She said he bought it years ago when he was still in California - right before he moved home and started teaching. He wanted to buy it while he was making lots of money and figured he’d give it to me when the time was right, but the time hasn't ever been right.

So with that said... Lauren has been known to manipulate and stretch the truth a little... so I don’t know if I should trust this story or not. What if she’s making it up? She has always wanted me and Josh to be together. I don’t know what to think.

She told me that Josh is tired of waiting around for me and is starting to consider moving on. This I believe. I can tell that he’s feeling done.

Alex and I went out to dinner later in the evening and I was talking to him about Lauren’s story. He said he didn’t know anything about an engagement ring, but he did know that Josh hasn’t had any girlfriends serious enough for a ring. He said that if I love Josh I need to go for it.

I agreed with him but complained that I don’t know what to do. He had an idea...he thinks I should sing with the Doo Wop guys on Wednesday night. At the end of the set, he wants to send Josh into the audience and bring me out to sing “This I Swear.”

He confirmed that they used to call it “Nicole’s Song” and that Josh has refused to sing it since we broke up. He is convinced that this will get me back in Josh’s good graces.

I like the idea, but it really scares me to death. Getting up in front of all of those people and laying it on the line...Do I have the guts to do it?