Some times I wish I were a kid again. Well, sort of. I love my mother, but if I had to go back to being a kid again, I'd want to live in Pennsylvania and be raised by Aunt Lu. I know you're thinking: WHAT?!?!?!?

Pennsylvania is beginning to grow on me...slowly...and though I miss my friends in Florida, I realize that this is the place for me to be. I need the stability and safety that comes with living with Aunt Lu. Things at my parents house are too volatile.

Anway, the reason I want to go back to being a kid is because things are easy when you're a kid. You skin your knee, you put a band-aid on it. Things are so much harder when you become a teenager. Band-aids don't mend broken hearts.

I was up all last night thinking about Josh, and how he's leaving. I can't stop thinking of a way to get close to him before we go our separate ways. I've been thinking a lot about prom night, and about the way I felt when I danced with him. It was only one dance, but I can't forget it. I want that feeling again. I want that feeling even if I know that he's leaving and it won't last. I just don't want to miss out on a chance to feel that connection with someone.

It's so frustrating. I should just resign myself to the fact that it's not going to happen. I need to learn to let go.