The Village was so good! I loved it...of course, I love anything that requires me to sit in the dark with Josh. Too bad Alex was there too. I shouldn't say that. I love Alex, but I really really really want to spend some time alone with Josh.

He drove me home after the movie. I was hoping to talk to him a little but he was tired and said good night pretty quickly. I keep listening to the Sarah McLachlan CD's my mom got me and the song, "I Love You" keeps jumping out at me. It's about wanting to tell the person you love that you love them, but you never get the chance. It's really about that unattainable person, I guess. There's a few lines that keep reminding me of Josh:

Oh and every time I'm close to you there's too much I can't say and you
just walk away
And I forgot to tell you I love you

I grieve in my conditionfor I cannot find the strength to say I need
you so

"A breath between us could be miles..." It drives me nuts because he can be right next to me, and it feels like he's so far away. It's all I can do to keep my cool when he's around. Trying to hold back what I feel when all I want to do is be in his arms is torture. It's so hard pretending that I don't feel this way, but what can I do? I'm not about to go throw myself at the guy!

There's no use even thinking about it, because Josh and I aren't going to happen. How could we? I'm leaving for a two week vacation in two weeks, and when I get back, Josh will be in New York. There's not much time for something to happen, and if it did it wouldn't amount to much.

I know I should forget him. I know I should give up, but I want so bad to find a way to spend some time with him before we go our separate ways. I can't stop thinking of how I could make it happen, but time is closing in on me and I know that it's almost time for good-bye.