I saw Josh last night. He showed up at school after my meeting. He looked really miserable, and I hate to admit it but it made me feel better. But then he started off with "she's my friend and she needed someone to be there for her." At that point I was completely pissed of. All I said was "I told you how I felt about you spending that much time with her and you did it anyway." I started to walk away and he was going on about how she called him and she was crying and he felt bad because he hates to see someone that sad.

I was starting to lose patience. It's nice that he cares about other people but what about me? I've spent the whole week crying. Doesn't that mean anything to him? I threw that out there and he looked like he was starting to get it. He said something like, "I'm sorry, Nicole. If I had known you'd be this upset I never would have hung out with her."

How could he not have known I'd be upset? She spent the weekend with him. She was his first love - his great love and he was devastated when they broke up. I told him all of this.

Then he said something like, "She was my first serious girlfriend but you are my first love, my great love. Sure I was upset when Kelly and I broke up, but it was nothing compared to what I'd go through if I lost you. She's not worth losing you over. I'll tell her to call Molly next time she's upset."

How could I stay mad after that? So the big fight is over. We talked some more and I think we're in agreement now. I won't tell Josh not to be friends with her, but I'd appreciate it if they didn't spend so much time together - especially if it involves her visiting him in New York for the weekend. He agreed.

We're supposed to go out to dinner tonight. I hope things don't feel weird, but I'll be glad to spend some time with him. I've missed him so much...being away and then not talking to him all week. It's been torture.