My friends thought I was a complete idiot and up until about 8:25 Saturday night I was agreeing with them. Maybe I should start at the beginning...

Thursday night I was out with Molly searching for a dress to wear to the outing with my parents to the Rainbow Room. I found an amazing green dress that made my eyes pop and all I could think about was how Josh would never see me in it. Molly kept urging me to call him so when we got home that night I did. Except I didn't do exactly what Molly suggested. Instead I left him a message telling him to show up at the Rainbow Room if he still cares about me.

By Friday morning I was a nervous wreck. No returned calls from Josh. I told him he didn't have to call me back, he should just show up or not show up. Why did I do that? I considered calling him again but I was afraid I'd look too pathetic.

So Friday night Molly and I took the train up to Manhattan. My parents had rented me a room at their hotel so I figured Molly could come up with me. We all went out to dinner and then Molly and I walked around town. Well, we walked around down town. We basically walked around the NYU area so that I could bump into Josh. I didn't admit this to Molly but she knew. And she was kind enough not to give me grief for being such a crazy person.

Anyway, we didn't run into Josh but I did drop my cell phone into a grate in the street. Bye-bye cell phone. I had to have the service stopped so that no one would use the phone. I was really freaking out because if Josh did try to call I couldn't answer or retrieve messages. I felt like the cards were stacking up against me.

Saturday came and Molly went back to New Jersey. Mom and I had manicures and our hair done. It would have been a great day if I hadn't been freaking out over whether or not Josh would show.

So the evening comes and I walk in to the Rainbow Room. The place is amazing. The view of the city was awesome. You could look out and see the Empire State Building and it looked like it was just next door (even though it's like 15 blocks away!). The band was playing and all I could think about was Josh and whether he would show up.

So I sit down with the parents and the business people my dad was smoozing with and time started ticking. No Josh. I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that he wasn't coming. I borrowed my mom's cell phone and walked out by the elevators to call Molly.

I was on the phone with her telling her that Josh wasn't there. That he wasn't coming. That he didn't love me anymore. And then I turned and there he was. Standing there. Looking so perfect. I don't even know what was next. I know I mumbled something in to the phone and hung up and that the next thing I knew I was fighting back tears and telling Josh that I totally didn't deserve him and I couldn't believe he was there.

He told me not to mess up my perfect face with tears and explained to me that he was late because when he woke up that morning he realized his suit was in Pennsylvania. He went all the way home to get that suit! He looked a little exasperated and told me he'd been trying to call me all day.

So we went and sat down and I tried to enjoy myself through dinner but I was pretty emotional. I was afraid I'd start crying at the drop of a hat. Just the thought of Josh rushing all over the tri-state area for me made me realize what a jerk I've been. What guy would do all of that for a girl who has blown him off, accused him of cheating and just been an all around brat?

Now don't get me wrong. Just because he was there doesn't mean he was all warm and fuzzy. He mostly talked to my dad's business partner through dinner, but just the fact that he came meant to much to me.

After dinner we danced and I apologized. He warmed up after that. We didn't stay too much longer. We went outside and walked around Rockefeller Plaza. We talked some things out. It was good. I convinced him to stay with me at the hotel so we had to go back to the dorm to get some things.

Keith, Jen and Laura were all there when we arrived. Laura looked shocked and annoyed to see me. I have to admit that I was a little happy to see her look so annoyed. Especially since I looked pretty good in my dress with my hair and makeup professionally done.

I stayed in New York all day yesterday. I'm going back up tomorrow to hang out with Josh until we head down to Pennsylvania on Thanksgiving. Well, now that I'm finished writing my "novel" here I should get going. I have a piano lesson this afternoon and I've barely practiced!