In my psych class we were talking about coping mechanisms. Dancing is my coping mechanism. I think that's why I'm having such a hard time right now. My ankle is still a few weeks away from being healed and I can't dance. I have no where to go to work off my frustrations.

I've been working on my piano lessons, but they remind me of Josh. Molly said I should quit, but I want to learn to play. I just need to find away to play the piano without thoughts of Josh constantly creeping in. Even though I was busy last semester, I did manage to make progress with it and I don't want to give up now.

I need to find a new coping mechanism. I need to fill my time with something I feel good about to help me get past this heartache. I want to be closer to "over him" than I am. I want to feel normal again, and not weighed down by this heaviness in my heart. I just don't know how to go about it.

Jeremy is taking the train up from Philadelphia Friday night to go out to dinner with me. He keeps calling and wanting to get together. I told him that it's hard for me to get around with my ankle right now so he said he'd come up here. I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's always great to have more friends, but I'm not sure if friendship is what he's looking for and I can't give him more than that. I would hate to lead him on. I just know that my heart is with Josh...and I can't seem to get it back.