Last night's dinner with Natalie was horrendous. I was ready to kill her. She made me meet her across campus, which I thought was kind of strange. As soon as we walked into the dining hall I realized why we were there. We ran into Jason. Coinicidence? I think not.

I know Natalie has hung out with Jason before but since they hung out in Florida she's had a new interest in him. She won't admit it but she wanted to run into him - and I can understand that, I really can. The problem is that he's Josh's best friend and now he probably thinks I was stalking him to get info on Josh. I'm mortified.

So we all sit down to eat and Natalie and Jason were talking about going to New York and Jason calls Josh while I'm sitting there to ask if we can all visit him on Saturday. I was so annoyed. I wanted Josh to call me. I didn't want Jason to call him for me! The only good thing is that Josh told Jason that he was planning to call me, so I felt a little better. They made tentative plans for Saturday.

Now, I would have been completely ticked at Nat, but Josh did call me later that night. It took the edge off the awkwardness of the whole thing. I just don't want him or Jason to think that I'm using Jason to get close to Josh.

On top of everything else, this little day trip to New York has gotten out of control. Molly wanted to come and then Elise decided she wanted to come. Then Molly invited Amanda. I know that I shouldn't mind them coming along, it's just that I was hoping that the next time I would see Josh there wouldn't be so many people around. How am I supposed to gage things with him with everyone and their brother hanging around us?

And now I'm really nervous about the weekend. I don't know what to expect. I'm so afraid I'll get there and all of his New York friends will be around - including Laura - and I'll be stuck up there and I'll be upset.

Am I over reacting? Maybe I'm over reacting. I should just go and have a good time.